


What If

by chaosgroupie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-01 09:47:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 57,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18797902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosgroupie/pseuds/chaosgroupie
Summary: What if you were unwillingly thrust into the world of Supernatural? How would you react? How would you survive? This is what happens to Emily. She wakes up to find herself in the very real world of Dean and Sam Winchester.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have about half of this story written and will be editing as I post for grammar and other really noticeable mistakes. I hope y'all enjoy it.

Taking the last bite of my steak, I put down my fork. Rubbing my stomach, I looked over the table, “Paige, thanks for spending today with me.”

My best friend smile at me, her dark curly hair wild about her face, “Hey, it’s your birthday, there is no way I wasn’t going to spend today with you.” Paige reached into her purse and pulled out two tickets, “I’ve got a surprise for you. I know you’ve always wanted to go on the High Roller. Since tonight is your birthday, I figured this was a good choice for a present.”

The waiter came back and brought a small box, setting it on the table. Paige grabbed it and tossed some cash down on the table, “We’ll eat this on the ride. We have enough time.”

I laughed, “God, I love you.” We grabbed our purses and stood, “You know me way too well.” Taking a deep breath I sighed, “Chocolate. And is that...strawberry?”

“You’ll just have to see when we get there.”

We parked Paige’s massive white truck she called Snow White in the parking lot of the Linq hotel. Like normal, she backed into a parking space on the top floor, far enough away from other cars that she didn’t accidentally ding one. Paige is an excellent driver and she can park better than most people, but she still didn’t like to take unnecessary risks.

We stood outside the High Roller and looked up. It was like a giant Ferris wheel, taller than the hotel with huge enclosed bubbles attached to the outside of the circle. It moved so slowly, it almost seemed to be standing still. When we got to the entrance, we saw that the line wasn’t too long. However, Paige had purchased special VIP tickets that allowed us to cut the line. The cabin they put us in was mostly empty, only a bar and a few other people. Usually, they put more people in a cabin, but Paige really likes to live large sometimes.

The cabin was shaped like an elongated sphere. Inside, the floor was carpeted with a bar at the back. The bar was pretty fancy looking, with lots of expensive alcohol on display. The rest of the walls were windows to look through. There were tables in the center of the cabin and near the bar, but several feet near the windows were clear for people to look out.

The wheel turned and we stared out the window at Las Vegas. The view from this high up was just as fantastic as promised. I tried to really live in the moment, but couldn’t help but take a few pictures. One of those pictures was of me and Paige in front of the window, the Las Vegas strip behind us.

When we were almost to the top, Paige and I went to one of the tables and she took out a huge slice of chocolate cake with strawberry filling and a strawberry on top. Digging into her endless purse, she pulled out a candle and put it on the top before lighting it. “Now make a wish.”

I gazed into the flame and thought about what I wanted more than anything. It wasn’t something that I actually thought was possible, nor even remotely probable. But still, it was something that I wanted. I closed my eyes and made my wish before blowing out the candle.

“So, what did you wish for?” her eyes twinkled mischievously.

“You know I can’t tell you that, Paige,” I felt my face flush. “If I do, then it won’t come true.” She just gave me a look and I answered her, my voice petulant, “Fine. You do know that wishes don’t actually come true, right?”

“You just don’t want to tell me your deepest darkest desire.” Her eyes gleamed, “Come on, I’m married. Let me live vicariously through you.”

I laughed, “Well if you must know, I wished that I could meet Sam and Dean Winchester.” She just looked at me utterly confused, “Sam and Dean. From the television show, Supernatural.”

She just closed her eyes and shook her head while laughing, “You know I don’t watch the same kinds of shows you do, Emily. You’re going to have to give me more to go on than that.” Using Google, I looked up a picture of the boys and showed it to her. Her eyes widened, “Hot damn, can I wish for them too? I’ll just hide them in my craft room so Andrew won’t see them.”

“Yeah, that’s Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. They are ridiculously good looking. Not only that, but they are pretty philanthropic as well. I mean, seriously, they are probably two of the nicest actors around.” I looked up another picture and showed her, “This is Misha Collins, he plays Castiel on the show. And he is an even better person than Jensen and Jared if such a thing is even really possible.”

“So why did you wish to meet Sam and Dean, not Jensen and Jared? I mean, at least Jensen and Jared are real people. You would think that was a wish you could actually have come true.”

“They are real, and they are pretty awesome too. Always nice to their fans no matter what.” I sighed, “But it just wouldn’t be the same. They aren’t the same people, not even remotely. Jensen and Jared are awesome people, but the characters they play have to deal with the worst shit you could possibly think of and come out of it stronger. They showed me that no matter how much life sucked, I could get through it. Plus, if I want to meet Jensen and Jared, all I have to do is go to a convention and pay some money. It’s going to take more than money to be able to meet Sam and Dean.” 

She looked at me incredulously, “Well, it’s like you said, wishes don’t come true. Especially when you’re wishing to meet fictional characters.”

I sighed and took a big bite of the cake, “Yeah, I know.”

When I got home, it was about 8 o’clock at night. It had been a long and exhausting day. My birthday this year fell on a Wednesday night, so I had gotten up early and worked a full day before meeting Paige for dinner and the ride on the High Roller. I was so tired I could barely see straight. All I did was take off all my clothes, brush my teeth and fall into bed. I was asleep within minutes.


	2. Chapter 2

A loud knocking on the front door woke me up. Before opening my eyes, I couldn’t help but wince. My entire body was killing me, not to mention that it was freezing in my apartment. When my eyes opened, I realized that I was on the floor of my bedroom. I looked around, wondering how I had gotten on the floor without waking up. Not a single thing remained in the room, other than a duffel bag stuffed full with my long cardigan on top of it and my purse next to it. I, of course, was still naked.

The knocking got louder and I yelled, “Hold your horses, I’m coming.” I grabbed the cardigan and put it on, holding it closed so I didn’t expose myself. When I walked into the living room, there was nothing there either, “Fucking hell.”

I opened the door and scowled at the two tall men in suits that were just outside my front door. My voice came out harsher than it would have normally, “What?”

A gravelly voice said, “Ma’am, we’re with the FBI. I’m agent Hicks, and this is agent Hudson.”

My mouth dropped open and I looked up at the man. This couldn’t be happening. I looked into his green eyes before looking over to the taller man, “Fuck a duck.” The both looked at me strangely before putting their badges away. “So, are you guys researching or something? Did Paige pay you guys to come to my door? If she did, I’m going to kill her. She has more money than sense sometimes.”

The taller guy cleared his throat, “Ma’am, we’re with the FBI. There has been a disturbance in the area and we just wanted to ask you a few questions.”

“Haha, very funny guys.” I walked into my now empty apartment, not bothering to shut the door behind me. I heard their footsteps follow me in and the door shut. I turned back to face them and crossed my arms over my chest, “Now, seriously, what the fuck are you guys doing here? And don’t try and feed me that tired old line about being FBI.”

“Ma’am, I promise you, we are FBI.” The taller one tried his best to look harmless, but the broad shoulders and muscles that could not be hidden beneath his coat did not do a lot to hide. He handed me his badge to look at, “Here, look this over.”

I pretended to look at his badge closely. A laugh bubbled up in me, “Seriously, Hudson and Hicks? You chose the wrong apartment to come to with those names. I’m the biggest Alien fangirl you will ever meet. I’m guessing you didn’t choose Ripley because she was a girl, even though she kicked the most ass in every movie.”

They started to look at me suspiciously. Green eyes narrowed at me, “Listen up, sweetheart. You can laugh all you want to, but we are FBI.”

“No, you’re not.” I was getting tired of arguing with them, “Just tell me why the two hottest actors on television would be coming to my apartment pretending to be FBI.” When they just kept looking at me like they were angry, I had a terrifying thought. But it wasn’t possible, “Wait, you guys wouldn’t happen to be the real Sam and Dean Winchester, would you?”

Green eyes narrowed at me, “Who the fuck are you?” He took a step towards me until he was a mere inches away, “How do you know who we are?”

My eyes widened and I took a step back. Dean stopped me by grabbing my arm tightly and I winced, “No, this can’t be happening.” I still had my cardigan held shut with my other hand, but it was starting to come open.

Dean’s eyes flicked down to the skin at my chest, before moving back up to my face, “Sweetheart, don’t make me ask again. Now, who the fuck are you?”

“Dean,” Sam said softly, “Maybe you should try being a little nicer.”

“Sammy, shut your cakehole. For all you know, she could be a…”

“Demon?” I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves, “Why don’t you spill a little holy water on me, then you will realize that I’m not a demon.” I looked at Dean’s hand, but he didn’t move it, “Then while you’re at it, you can cut me with a silver knife. There’s probably not any borax around here considering my apartment is empty for some reason. Not that I have ever used borax for cleaning anyway.”

Sam took a flask out of his coat pocket and unscrewed the top, “Dean, she’s right.” He handed the flask to Dean, “We’ll test her and then figure out what to do.”

Grabbing the flask, Dean let go of my arm enough so he could push up my sleeve. He poured the water on my arm. Nothing happened. Dean still didn’t look convinced. He took out a small silver pocket knife and opened the blade. He cut my arm deep enough that it hurt, but not so deep that I would bleed out.

“See, and the blood is not black, so I’m not a leviathan.” I clasped my hand over my cut to try and stem the bleeding, “What would be really nice is if someone could tell me how the fuck I got here?”

“Just because you’re not a demon, shapeshifter, or leviathan doesn’t mean that you aren’t something else. And sweetheart, I know I’ve never fucked you,” his eyes looked up and down my body. “I would remember fucking someone like you.”

“Dammit, Dean, I’m just a girl. I went to bed,” I looked at the clock on the microwave and saw that it had only been a couple of hours since I fell asleep. “About two hours ago. I had furniture and a bed. My apartment had things in it. Then you guys show up and I’m laying on the floor in my empty bedroom. You guys aren’t real, you can’t be.”

“I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but we are real. And just because you passed a few tests doesn’t mean we have to trust you.” Dean looked at me irritated, his arms crossed over his chest.

Sam gave Dean a look and then looked at me, eyes soft and full of compassion, “What did you mean, we aren’t real?”

“Well, obviously you are real.” Then I said under my breath, “Or I’m dreaming right now.” They kept looking at me expectantly, “You guys are characters on a television show. Jared, Jensen, and Misha are actors playing a role. I mean I’ve always wanted to meet you guys, but you just don’t exist in my reality.”

“Dean, I think she might be from the reality that Balthazar sent us to.” Sam combed through his long brown hair with his fingers, “They had a television series there.”

“Except that was a plotline on the show I watched. If I were from that reality, the show wouldn’t be on season 14 because several of the people important to making it happen died.”

“Maybe you’ve managed to read those books by Carver Edlund,” Dean started to say.

“Nope,” I chuckled. “First, neither of you look anything like the Fabios on the cover of those books. I mean, come on, you guys went to a Supernatural convention and when you tried to tell people you were actually Sam and Dean, no one believed you.” They looked at me, shocked, “Second, Carver Edlund didn’t write them, not really. Carver Edlund is a nom de plume that Chuck Shurley used to publish the books. Third, after the convention, you told Chuck not to publish anymore. Although, before Charlie left with Dorothy for Oz she said that there were more posted online by Becky, the batshit crazy girl who was married to Sam for a hot minute.”

“Fucking hell,” Dean cursed and took a step away from me. The blood was starting to seep through my fingers and he looked at me with a guilty expression, “Sorry about that.”

“No worries. You had to check and see if I was something you could kill.” I turned my back to them and headed into the bedroom, “I’m going to go and clean this off. Wrap something around it to try and not bleed out.”

When I went into the bathroom, it was as empty as the rest of the apartment. I couldn’t help but sigh. Somehow I had been transported from my world to a reality where Sam and Dean were real. Did my wish have something to do with this? As far as I knew, magic didn’t exist, at least in my world. To be perfectly honest, I’m an atheist. If God does exist, he’s capricious and cruel, with little regard for life. But if I’m truly in Sam and Dean’s reality, then God was real with a thing for sex hotlines and kittens. 

I ran water over the cut and the pain was intense but bearable. I looked through the bag again and took out a white tank top, wrapped it around my arm and put on some real clothes, as well as socks and shoes. There was nothing in the apartment, which probably meant that no one in this reality actually lived there yet. I may be stuck in a different world than my own, but I wasn’t about to break the law by staying in a place that wasn’t mine. Especially when I didn’t know enough about the world I had been thrust into.

Putting the cardigan back on, I grabbed the bag and my purse before going back out into the living room and kitchen area. “Well, I’m going to get out of this apartment before someone realizes I’m not supposed to be here. I need to try and find someone that can send me back.” I walked towards the front door and gave the boys a tight smile, “Enjoy Vegas. Just remember, what happens in Vegas doesn’t actually stay in Vegas.”

When I was just about to open the door, a throat cleared. Sam’s voice was gentle, “Maybe we can help you.”

“Sammy,” Dean’s voice made it sound like he was about to rebuke Sam’s offer.

“No, Dean. This is what we do, we help people.” Sam came over and put his hand on my shoulder, “Maybe Bobby knows something that can…”

“Wait, Bobby’s alive?”

“Yes?” Sam seemed perplexed. Dean looked like he was about to have a stroke.

“Sorry. It’s just that Bobby got shot in the head by Dick Roman during the season with the leviathans. He didn’t make it.”

“He was shot by Dick, but not in the head. He was shot in the stomach.” Running a hand over his face, Dean groaned, “Look, apparently not everything is the same between our...reality and what you say you watched on television. Enough is similar that you know things you shouldn’t, but some things are different.”

“Let’s just drive to Bobby’s, he’ll be able to figure out something.” Sam reached for my bag, but I didn’t let him take it.

“You guys don’t need me hanging around, cramping your style. I’m sure that I can figure something out on my own. Besides, you guys were investigating something, I’m sure that is more important than little old me.” I gave them a big smile, trying to convince them that I would be fine.

Dean just grabbed the bag out of my hand and walked out of the apartment, “Coming, sweetheart?” He continued walking until he was heading down the stairs and out of sight.

My fingers pinched the brow of my nose and I couldn’t help but sigh. Sam put his arm around me, trying to offer comfort. “If anyone will know, it’s Bobby.”

“What about Castiel?”

“Cas is...Cas,” Sam sighed, “I don’t really know how to answer that. Let’s just say that the relationship is a little strained at the moment, but he helps out when we need him. Let’s just see if Bobby knows first. If he doesn’t, then we’ll call him.”

“But Castiel is your guys family. What could have happened to sour that?” I was confused. Even when the trio went through hell, they always found a way back to each other. They always forgave each other, no matter what.

“It’s a really long story. Maybe after we’ve figured out a way to send you back I’ll tell you.” He looked to the door and then back at me, “Or better yet, I’ll let Dean tell you. It’s really his story to tell.”

The first thing that popped into my mind was Destiel. I knew that it couldn’t be that because it was just something all the fangirls like myself wanted. Technically, now that I was here I was glad they weren’t together. It’s not that I didn’t still ship their relationship, but it was a ship of two imaginary characters, not of two real-life grown men. Even I wouldn’t stoop that low to want to force two people into a relationship who didn’t want to be together.

“Alright, I can respect that.” I held out my hand for Sam to shake, “I’m Emily Hobbs, by the way. Just thought you should know, especially if we’re going to take a car ride together all the way to Sioux Falls.”

His grip was tight on my hands and a genuine smile came over his face, “Glad to meet you, Emily. Now, we should probably get down to the car before Dean freaks out. He’s not the most patient sort.”

We headed down to the car. I climbed into the back before Sam could. When he got in the front seat, I chuckled lightly, “You are too tall, Sam. I mean, you are 6 foot 4, right?” Dean looked at me in the rearview mirror and I decided that I wanted to be a little cheeky, “Plus, I’ve always wondered what being in the back of Baby would feel like. Although, I have to say that I never pictured being back here alone.”

Sam’s eyes flicked between me and Dean, watching curiously as Dean’s jaw dropped and my face flushed. But he didn’t say a word about it, just shook his head. “We should probably catch a few hours of shut-eye before hitting the road tomorrow. It’s a long drive to Bobby’s place.”

Dean nodded and turned on the car. I don’t think he wanted to chat because he turned on the stereo loud enough that talking would have been impossible without yelling.

It wasn’t long before we arrived at the hotel. Apparently, Sam and Dean were on a vacation, because they were staying at one of the nicer hotels on the strip. When we got up to the room, I saw that it had two beds and a couch. 

“I’ll take the couch, you can have the bed,” Dean said without looking at me.

“Dean, that couch is tiny.” I looked his way until he turned towards me, “There is no way you can fit on it comfortably.”

“Sure I can,” he smirked. “Besides, I’m a gentleman.”

“Dean, you are anything but a gentleman,” Sam said as he took off his suit jacket and loosened his tie. “You just want to try and impress the pretty girl.”

My face flushed at his words. It had been a long while since anyone had called me pretty, let alone someone as hot as Sam. “How about this, if you can fit on the couch comfortably - and by comfortably I mean you need to be able to stretch out for sleep - then I will take the bed.”

Dean looked from the couch to me. I’m pretty sure he knew that he knew he wasn’t going to be able to fit. However, the determination on his face was almost laudable. He climbed onto the couch and put his head down, stretching his legs out. His feet went up and over the edge of the arm. Both Sam and I burst out laughing, which only pissed Dean off.

He looked irritated, but got off the couch, “Sweetheart, you’re only a few inches shorter than me. What makes you think that you can fit on it better?”

“Dean, you are 6 foot 1. I’m 5 foot 8, that’s five inches shorter than you. These couches were not meant for people to sleep on, let alone someone as tall as both you and Sam are.” I climbed onto the couch and fit, just barely, “See, I fit.” When Dean glared at me and crossed his arms, I added, “Look, just take the bed. If you try and fight me on this we will both lose. I’m not taking the bed so we’ll both end up being uncomfortable. I know that you are trying to play the white knight, and it’s sweet, but unless you want me to end up on the floor because I’m just as stubborn as you, if not more, take the damn bed.”

“Fine.” He sounded petulant, but at least he went over to the bed and started to dig through the bag on it.

I put my duffel bag on the couch and dug in it for something to sleep in. Normally, I sleep naked. I don’t even keep nightclothes available. The only ‘nightwear’ that I had was...my hand hit lace and silk. Yup, my negligee that I wore to make myself feel pretty every once in a while. I couldn’t wear that though, who knows what Sam and Dean would think if I did. Also, this wasn’t a dream where I was having a threesome with the Winchester boys. I pushed around the clothes and found a long t-shirt and a pair of boy short panties. That would have to work.

I went into the bathroom, changed and brushed my teeth before coming out. The shirt was a little too big for me, so it didn’t hug my curves too much. As I walked out of the bathroom, both of the boys turned to look at me. When their eyes moved up and down my body and lingered on my legs, I realized that I was a little underdressed. My shirt barely covered my ass and it took all I had to not hold my other clothes in front of my hips.

“Sorry. Uh...I don’t really have anything else to wear. It’s not like I packed this bag for myself. I woke up with it.” I went over to the couch and without bending, put the clothes in the bag and tossed it on the floor. One of the boys had put a blanket and pillow down for me.

Before I made the bed up, I looked down at my arm and saw that the tank top was starting to turn red with my blood. “Do you guys have some bandages or something? I think I need something a little sturdier than a shirt.”

Sam came over with a small bag and we sat down next on the couch. He quickly stitched up my arm and put a bandage over it, “That should keep until you need to take a shower. Just let me know if you need another one or some ointment or something.”

“Thanks, Sam.” I stood and made up my makeshift bed, bending slightly at the waist before I remembered how short the shirt was. I felt my face flush and I quickly climbed under the blanket. When I looked over to the boys I saw that Sam wasn’t looking at me anymore, but Dean was still looking at me with this intense look on his face. I just stared back at him until I heard a throat clearing. I looked over at Sam and felt my face heat up. Turning on my side, I closed my eyes. The lights turned off and I heard bed springs squeaking as the boys got into place. Within minutes I was asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

A noise woke me up. I quickly sat up when I heard another cry. The light near the bed turn on and I saw Sam sit up and start to get out of bed. Dean was having a nightmare. I stood and walked over to Sam. Quietly, I asked, “Hell or purgatory?”

“I don’t know, Emily.” Sam looked stressed. “He doesn’t always have nightmares, but he’s had them more regularly ever since hell. It only got worse after purgatory and everything else that came after.” He looked at his brother, “I usually just wake him up when he starts having a nightmare if I hear. He prefers waking up to remaining inside the dream.”

“Maybe I could try something.” I took a breath. I didn’t want to get closer to the boys, not if I was going to be leaving. But I couldn’t let Dean live through those horrible experiences again if I could help it. “If it doesn’t work, I promise you can wake him up.”

He nodded at me, so I sat on the bed next to Dean with my back against the headboard. I ran my fingers through his hair and started to sing.

_ Hey Jude, don't make it bad, _ __   
_ Take a sad song and make it better. _ __   
_ Remember to let her into your heart, _ _   
_ __ Then you can start to make it better.

_ Hey Jude, don't be afraid, _ __   
_ You were made to go out and get her. _ __   
_ The minute you let her under your skin, _ _   
_ __ Then you begin to make it better.

_ And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain, _ __   
_ Don't carry the world upon your shoulders. _ __   
_ For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool, _ __   
_ By making his world a little colder, _ _   
_ __ Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah.

_ Hey Jude, don't let me down, _ __   
_ You have found her, now go and get her. _ __   
_ Remember to let her into your heart, _ _   
_ __ Then you can start to make it better.

By the time I reached the last verse, he had calmed down. Dean rolled over and his arms wrapped around my waist as he snuggled up against me. I looked down at him before looking to his brother.

Sam shrugged, “He’s calmed down. I mean, I can wake him up, or I can lift his arm so you can scoot down. Honestly, I think that he will sleep better with you there. It’s been a while since either of us has gotten a full night sleep.”

“Just lift up his arm.” 

Sam lifted his arm and I moved my body down until I was lying down completely next to Dean. Once Sam released his arm, Dean pulled me closer and his face burrowed into the hair near my neck. Sam went over to the couch to get the blanket before draping it over both of us to help me protect my modesty.

“Thanks, Sam.” Once the light was off again, I started singing Hey Jude again until I heard Sam’s breathing even out. Only then did I let myself fall back to sleep.

 

The sound of voices woke me up, but I just laid there trying to fully wake up. Sam and Dean's voices sounded very serious, even as they were trying to keep their voices down.

“Damnit, Sammy,” Dean sounded petulant. “Why did you let her sleep with me?”

“I didn't let her sleep with you.” Sam's voice was calm like he was trying to explain something to a child. “You were having a nightmare…”

“You should have woken me up.”

“Dean, you haven't had a full night's sleep in more years than I can count. Emily had an idea to get you to calm down. It's not her fault that you attached yourself to her like a spider monkey.”

“I was asleep,” he whined. “I just don’t want her….”

“To think you’re weak, I know. Somehow, I don’t think that’s what she was thinking. Do you know what she did, Dean? She sang Hey Jude to you.”

“Mom used to sing that to us,” his voice was softer now.

“I know,” I could hear the smile in Sam's voice. “She got you to calm down. You slept the entire night through because of it. She didn't molest you in your sleep.”

It was about then that I realized I probably shouldn't be eavesdropping on what they thought was a private conversation. 

I groaned loudly and moved around. I started moving around and stretched my arms over my head. When my eyes opened I saw the guys sitting at the table, fully dressed.

“Morning boys,” I sat up and smiled at them. I looked over at Dean, “Sorry about invading your space last night. I just know how much nightmares suck.”

Dean looked sheepish, “It's okay. I honestly haven't slept that well in longer than I can remember.”

Sam cleared his throat and I turned to him, “We need to hit the road soon. It's a long drive to Sioux Falls.”

“Alright, give me 15 minutes and I'll be ready to go.”

I stood forgetting that my shirt barely covered my ass and went over to my bag, bending over to get clothes out. One of the boys made a choking noise. I froze, then slowly straightened, my face burning with embarrassment. Bundling up the clothes, I scurried into the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Braiding my long hair, I tried to give myself a pep talk, “Remember that you are leaving as soon as you can find a way. They may be hotter than sin, but when you leave you will have to go back to knowing that they don't exist in your reality.”

The funny thing about my pep talk, it actually made me feel worse. I wasn't sure I could go back to viewing them as characters in a story when I knew that they existed, even if not in my world.

Quickly getting dressed, I said to myself, “Just don't get too attached. You don't need heartbreak on top of everything else.”

A knock sounded on the door and Sam's voice said, “We’re going down to the car. We'll meet you down there. Dean's already left, he's picking us up some breakfast sandwiches.”

I opened the door, “Did you hear me?”

Sam gave me a look, “Hear you what?”

“Nevermind,” I flushed. “If you give me a minute to put on my shoes, I’ll walk down with you.” Sam nodded, so I sat down to put on my shoes, “I just wanted to say thank you for helping me. I know that it’s what you guys do, but you didn’t have to believe me, let alone stop whatever it was you guys were doing to take on a stray.”

“Don’t mention it. We were just here for some relaxation when Bobby called about a ghost. But the ghost isn’t malicious or anything, we’ve already called another hunter in the area to take the case for us.”

I stood and walked over to Sam, enveloping him in a big hug. He put his arms around me and I let myself relax for a second before pulling away. “Alright, let’s go before Dean gets too antsy.”

 

We were in Colorado when Sam got a call from Bobby. “Hey, Bobby. What’s up?”

Dean flicked off the stereo, “Put him on speaker so I can here too.”

Sam put the phone on speaker. Bobby sighed, “Idjits. Why’d you put Sal on the ghost hunt? You know he’s retired.”

“We found something a little more urgent than a peeping Tom ghost,” Dean said as he glanced in the rearview mirror at me. “We were canvassing the neighborhood asking questions when we found someone who is from another reality other than ours. Somebody or something brought her here, and we want to help send her home if we can.”

“A girl, huh? Figures you idjits would abandon a job for a girl.” I could tell that Bobby wasn’t buying what Dean was saying. “Nevermind that. I’ve got another job for you that needs to be taken care of.”

Sam piped up, “Bobby, we are on our way to Sioux Falls right now. We’re actually just passing through Grand Junction. We were planning on stopping for the night soon.”

“It’s only about another five-hour drive for where I need you to go. Plus, this should be a quick stop. You boys shouldn’t have any trouble with ganking a ghost.” Bobby sounded irritated, but at the same time, his voice held pride in his two adopted sons.

“Alright, where is it I need to drive to?” Dean asked.

“Pikes Peak area. There’s a little lodge there that I’ve already booked you a room at, under the name Jack Reacher. I’ll email Sam the details.” Without another word, he hung up.

“Seems like you’re going to be stuck with us for a little bit longer,” Sam said apologetically.

“I’ve always wanted to go on a hunt,” I said excitedly.

“No,” Dean interrupted in a stern voice. “No way in hell are we gonna take a newbie on a hunt with us.” I think he could see the disappointment on my face and his voice softened we he added, “Sometimes it can get dangerous. I really don’t need to be responsible for another person getting killed.”

One thing about Dean, he always puts everything on his shoulders, even when the responsibility is not his to bear. To be honest, most of the time it is not his fault when something bad happens. “Dean,” I said softly. “It’s okay, I’ll just hang out at the hotel.”

His eyes met mine and I could see the appreciation in them, “This shouldn’t take more than a day or so to finish.”

After the long drive, I was exhausted again. We still had hours to go, but the silence was deafening and I couldn't help but want to cry for Dean. The man took everything on himself, and I refused to be another thing that he had to feel responsible for. I leaned my head against the window and tried to sleep.

It didn't seem like long before the car stopped moving and the engine shut off. I was slowly coming to consciousness when Dean said, “Time to wake up, sleeping beauty.”

I stuck my tongue out at him and laughed when his eyes widened, “Yeah yeah, I'm awake. Are we here?”

“Sam is getting us checked in.” He turned towards me, “And you shouldn't make promises you don't intend to keep.”

I was confused, “Huh?”

Dean laughed, his whole face lighting up with mirth. When he stopped laughing, he had a look on his face that made my insides flutter, “If you're going to stick your tongue out at me, be prepared to follow through.”

I gulped as the car door opened and Sam leaned down. His eyes flicked between me and Dean, but he didn't say anything about the tension between us. “Come on, the room is ready.” As we got out of the car he added, “The guy at the front desk gave me directions to wear the haunting is. It's only about 30 minutes from here.”

Again, Dean didn't let me grab my bag. I thought about saying that I was perfectly capable of doing things for myself, but I kept quiet. He always took care of everyone, and I wasn't about to complain that he was being nice to me. Angry Dean was not someone I ever wanted to deal with.

We got to the room and I immediately knew there was going to be a problem, “Umm, there isn't a couch.”

Dean cursed loudly behind me. “I'm going to the bar.” He stormed out of the room, slamming the door.

“Did I do something?” my voice was soft.

“No, Dean just doesn't like being put into a corner.” Sam put his bag on one of the beds, “You guys already slept together, you could just share a bed again.” I think my face looked terrified at the prospect because he quickly said, “Or you can share with me.”

This was difficult for me. I was attracted to both of them, for different reasons. But Dean, he has always held a special place in my heart. Not to mention that I'm fairly certain he is the more sensitive of the two, no matter how tough the show made him out to be. The one thing I didn’t want to do is cause any distress between the brothers. I smiled, “Thanks, but I'll just sleep on Dean's bed until he gets back. Just wake me up when he gets here and I'll move to the floor or something. I don't have the energy to deal with him being angry again.”

I quickly went to the bathroom to change, not letting Sam respond. When I came out, Sam was sitting at the table on his laptop, deep in thought. I laid down under the covers as close to the endless of the bed as I could and fell into a deep sleep.

The door banging open woke me up, but I didn't move. “Damnit, Dean,” Sam hissed. “Emily is asleep.”

“I’m bein’ quiet,” he said, slurring his words slightly. I know that Dean has a very high alcohol tolerance, given how much he drinks, so he must have drunk a lot to become intoxicated enough to slur. “Why’s she in my bed?”

“First, where else is she supposed to sleep?” I could tell that Sam was trying to be patient with him. “She told me to wake her up when you got back. She was planning on sleeping on the floor. But she is taking up a tiny fraction of the bed, you can just deal with her on there.”

“Fine,” Dean whined. I heard him moving around and changing clothes. While he did that I moved a little bit, making sure I really was taking up as small a portion of the bed as I could.

I felt the bed move when he laid down a few minutes later. It wasn’t long before he was breathing deep and even and I let myself fall asleep.

For the second night, I woke up to the sounds of Dean having a nightmare. I didn’t hear Sam moving around, so I assumed he was sleeping through it. I stayed as far from Dean as I could, and sang another song. This time taking inspiration from the episode with the musical, slowing the song down so it was more of a lullaby.

_ Carry on my wayward son, _ __   
_ There'll be peace when you are done. _ __   
_ Lay your weary head to rest, _ _   
_ __ Don't you cry no more.

_ Once I rose above the noise and confusion, _ __   
_ Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion. _ __   
_ I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high, _ __   
_ Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man. _ __   
_ Though my mind could think I still was a mad man, _ _   
_ __ I hear the voices when I'm dreamin', I can hear them say.

_ Carry on my wayward son, _ __   
_ There'll be peace when you are done. _ __   
_ Lay your weary head to rest, _ _   
_ __ Don't you cry no more.

Dean rolled over towards me, arms stretching my way. I just about fell off the bed in my desire to get away from him. There was no way that I wanted a repeat of the previous morning freak out. He may have said he was okay with it, but that was only after I apologized. Another reason to not let him cuddle with me again was that I wasn’t sure my heart could take it.

I just stood and went over to the table, pushed Sam’s papers out of the way and sat down. Using my arms as a pillow I fell back asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The morning came and I woke to a warm hand on my back. I looked up and groaned because my back was killing me. Sam was standing there, a concerned look on his face. The shower started and Sam asked, “What happened?”

Tears came to my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall, “I...I just couldn’t deal with Dean freaking out again like yesterday.”

“You heard that?” he seemed really upset that I had overheard them.

“Yeah. Sorry I didn’t make more noise. It wasn’t my intention to eavesdrop, not really.” I rubbed at my eyes, trying to stop myself from crying. I’m not truly an overly emotional person, but when I wake up first thing in the morning, and the fact that this was Dean we were talking about, I just couldn’t help it. “I just heard him getting angry and didn’t really want to see him like that. Last night he had another nightmare. I sang to him again to help him sleep, but then he reached for me.” Now I really did start to cry a little. Just enough that Sam crouched down by me and started rubbing my back, “I just couldn’t take him getting angry again this morning. I didn’t want him to get angry for me being in his bed again. I didn’t want him to get angry that I helped him sleep through another nightmare. I didn’t want him to get angry that he reached for comfort and then woke up cuddling with a stranger, again.”

As I took a breath, Sam looked at me with a sad expression on his face, “Dean just really isn’t used to people caring about him. I mean, he knows that I care about him, but it’s all wrapped up in brotherly affection and with the way dad raised us, we were meant to not show emotion that way.”

“I always hated John. If things were half as bad as the show portrayed them, I’m honestly not sure that what he did to you guys wouldn’t be classified as abuse by today's standards.” I stood and pulled Sam up, giving him a hug, “Thanks for helping me calm down and listening to me. But truthfully, I’m scared that I will get too attached to you and Dean. I’m already more attached than I should be. You guys are just so much like the Sam and Dean on the show, I feel like I know you. Like I know your fears and hopes, what you guys dream about having one day. The apple pie life that you both desperately want but don’t think you’ll ever truly have.”

I sighed and moved over to my bag, “I wanted to offer him comfort. Probably more than anything I’ve ever wanted. Especially after getting to know you guys a little. But I can’t let myself feel. I can’t let myself get even more attached. Because if I end up going home, feeling this way could hurt me more than anything ever has before.”

I wasn’t looking at Sam, but his voice was gentle, “You can’t let fear rule your life. Besides, I’m pretty sure that the only reason Dean was freaking out is that he is attracted to you. He doesn’t know what to do with that.”

The shower shut off and I rubbed at my eyes again. I didn’t really want Dean to know that I had been upset. When the door opened, he came out in only a towel that rode low on his hips, showing off the V that so many men spend hours upon hours at the gym trying to achieve. I gulped and couldn’t help but stare at him.

His eyes met mine and I felt my face flush as he smirked. I walked towards him with my clothes. Instead of moving out of my way, he stayed right in front of the door. I could have made him move out of the way, but I kind of felt that if he was going to mess with me I was going to mess with him right back. I walked until I was only a couple of inches from his body. 

Looking up into his eyes, I leaned forward and whispered, “If you’re going to come out here mostly naked, I’m not going to be able to control my thoughts.” I licked my lips and when his eyes dilated I felt myself starting to get turned on. He still didn’t move, however, and I knew that we needed to get dressed so Dean and Sam could go on their ghost hunt.

Smiling, I pushed myself against him so I could push him out of the way and quickly went into the bathroom, closing the door. I leaned against the door and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Seeing Dean in person was bad enough, but with just a flick of the wrist, he could have been naked. The thought just made me wetter and I moaned.

A knock sounded on the door and Sam said, “We’re going to be leaving in a few minutes. We should be back by dinner tonight.”

“Alright, see you then.”

When I heard the door to the hotel shut, I turned on the shower and undressed. I wasn’t shy about changing with the boys in the room, but I just didn’t want to be naked with Dean so close because I would be seriously tempted to walk out there without clothes on and tell him to fuck me.

I took my shower and got dressed. When I left the bathroom, I realized that I was going to be bored out of my skull here alone at the hotel. It wasn’t even 9 o’clock in the morning yet, and Sam had seemed to imply that they weren’t going to be back until dinner. 

I made a somewhat rash decision. Since the boys were going to be gone for at least 8 hours, I figured that I had enough time to go up Pikes Peak. The last time I had visited the summit I was a child, so I was hoping that it would make me feel closer to my family to go and visit the place that I had last been with them.

I grabbed my coat and purse and left the hotel. It took about 45 minutes to get to the train station that goes up the side of the mountain. I had stopped to get breakfast on the way, which is part of the reason that it took so long.

I bought a ticket for the next train and sat down to wait. It was about another 15 minutes when it showed up to take us. The ride took about three and a half hours. I spent the time enjoying the landscape and not thinking about what I had left behind. If I’m being honest, quite a bit of my time was spent daydreaming about Dean.

I thought about what it would be like to stay here instead of going home. Wondering if Dean would even want that. He wasn’t one for real relationships, other than Lisa, but even that didn’t last. I dreamed about what it would be like if I was different. If I ended up being the one that he was meant to be with. It’s not that I believed in soulmates, or “the one”, but it is very true that your relationships don’t last until you find the one that does.

Maybe the fact that I know so much about him and his family, the life that he had. I know about the hunting, the drinking, the shit that he’s had to suffer through for years upon years. I even thought about what it would be like if Dean didn’t have to do this anymore. I’m not sure that he would want to give up hunting, but I know that is one thing I wish for him. That one day, he can have the happy life that he wants. A wife, children if he wants them, a house with a picket fence, and not worrying day to day if he was going to survive.

When we got to the top, I snapped out of the rabbit hole my mind had fallen into. We only had an hour, so I needed to make sure that I was back in time, so I didn’t have to walk down. I went to the sign and took a picture of myself in front of it. I also went near the edge and stared down at the snow-covered landscape. Colorado was always beautiful. Its serene landscape always calmed me down.

When I heard the train horn, I hurried back to my ride back down. It was about 2:30, and I was looking forward to getting off the freezing cold mountain top. Colorado is already cold during the winter, but temperature actually decreases by about 3 degrees with every 1000 feet that you climb. The peak is 8000 feet above Colorado Springs, so that is 24 degrees colder. Considering I only had on a long sleeve shirt and a cardigan, I’m not surprised I was basically frozen.

I napped on the way down. Even though I wasn’t super tired, the motion of moving vehicles has always put me to sleep. It made it really difficult to drive long distances without something to keep me occupied or distracted. 

We got back to the train station at about 6 o’clock at night. It took me about 20 minutes to get back to the hotel. When I opened the door, both boys were sitting at the table and they both glared at me. I almost left the room because of the angry looks they were giving me.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Dean asked, his voice deeper than normal.

“I…” he didn’t even let me finish before he interrupted me.

“You said you were going to stay at the hotel. We’ve been here for over an hour. What if something had happened to you?”

Sam just looked at me, the disappointment evident on his face, “We’ve just been worried about you, Emily.”

I hung my head, “I’m sorry. I honestly thought that I would be back before you guys were done.”

“And you think that makes it okay to lie to us?” still seeming really mad, Dean ran a hand over his face. “I just can’t deal with this right now.” He stood up and stalked towards me and the front door. When he was only a couple inches from me, he leaned his lips down to my ear, “Next time, I’ll put you over my knee and spank you until your ass is so red you can’t sit for a week.”

As he left the hotel room, I felt myself flush. I sat down at the chair Dean had left and faced towards Sam, “Honestly, I’m sorry Sam. I truly didn’t think that it would be that big of a deal. I took the train up to Pikes Peak. I promise I was safe the whole time.”

“I know, Emily.” He still looked so upset, “I just wish you had left us a note or something. We have a lot of enemies, and just being with us makes you a target.”

“I didn’t even think about that.” I placed a hand on top of Sam’s, “I really am sorry, Sam.”

“It’s forgiven. Just please, let us know next time you are going to go do something that way we don’t have to wonder if you were kidnapped.”

“Definitely,” I gave him a small smile. “Do you think Dean will stop being pissed off at me?”

“Maybe by the time he gets back tonight.” Sam sighed, “We didn’t have good luck today, so we are going to go back out tonight and it may mean another day here. Will you be okay hanging out here tomorrow?”

“I’ll make it work.” I stood, “I’m going to go walk outside a bit, just see if I can find Dean. I want to apologize to him too.”

“Alright. I’m going to do a little research on the computer, so take your time.” He winked at me, “But if you’re not back in an hour, I’m calling in the cavalry.”

I went back outside and walked around the parking lot, looking for the Impala. It was still in the parking lot, so I went over to it and saw Dean leaning up against it on the phone. He didn’t see me as I walked up, “Alright, Bobby. We’ll see you in a couple of days.”

As he hung up, he saw me moving towards him and glowered at me. I walked over until I was about a foot away, “Hey, Dean.” He crossed his arms over his chest, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I truthfully wasn’t thinking when I left the hotel. Even though I’ve seen all the episodes, it didn’t even cross my mind that you might think that someone had taken me.”

I stepped closer until I was only a couple of inches from his hard body, “I really am sorry. I wish I could make it up to you.”

The look in Dean’s eyes darkened and I felt my pulse quicken. He stood up and pushed me back a bit and opened the back door to his car. He climbed in and sat in the middle of the bench seat. “Come here,” his voice was commanding. I sat down next to him and shut the door. “Lay over my lap.”

My pussy clenched with need, “You want me to lay over your lap?”

“I promised that if you ever did it again I would spank your ass red.” I flushed and he smirked, “You want to know how you can make it up to me. So lay over my lap.”

I put myself over his lap so my ass was facing up. His hand caressed the globes of my ass before he ran his fingers over where my jeans were pressing against my pussy. I moaned and he moved his hand back to my ass. Smack. The first hit surprised me, but it didn’t really hurt.

He went back to caressing my ass. Alternating between kneading each cheek and rubbing my pussy lips. When he spoke, his voice was deep and sounded like he was as aroused as I was, “Unbutton your jeans and push them down.”

I lifted my ass and followed his instructions, leaving on my thong underwear. When I laid back down, I could feel his erection straining against the fly of his jeans. When his fingers pressed against my pussy this time, I moaned loudly and he dipped them inside, rubbing against my clit.

He pulled his finger out of my underwear and started spanking me hard. Smacking each cheek in turn. After a few hard whacks to each side, he rubbed me again until I was pushing back against him. Then he started smacking my ass again. I could feel it start to heat up, and I knew it was getting red.

I’ve always been the kind of girl that enjoyed a little bit of pain with my pleasure. Not all the time, and nothing too crazy, but when I’m turned on pain just becomes another stimulus for my pleasure. He smacked me once more on each ass cheek, hard enough that I cried out. Then he put his fingers back inside my underwear, two fingers inside my pussy while his thumb rubbed my clit. With his other hand, he rubbed my flaming ass cheeks gently. It didn’t take long before I came loudly.

After my orgasm, he took his hand out of my underwear and I heard him suck my juices off his fingers. I moaned again and he laughed, “Glad you enjoyed that.”

I groaned, unable to say anything else. I could still feel him hard beneath me, but there was no way I was going to be able to move after the orgasm that he gave me. He tugged my jeans back up and then helped me sit up next to him. I buttoned my pants back up and looked at him and then down at the tent in his jeans.

He just shrugged, “Don’t worry about me.” He placed a gentle kiss against my lips, “I’m going to calm down a bit then come back upstairs. Why don’t you go ahead and go back up and see if Sammy wants to get some dinner.”

I got out of the car and walked back into the hotel in a daze. What had I just let happen? This was not what I intended by going out to Dean. All I wanted to do was apologize so he wouldn’t be angry at me. I was so confused, but then I remembered what Sam had told me that morning. About how he thought that maybe Dean was attracted to me.

When I got back to the room, I paused outside the door to take a breath. When I went in, Sam just glanced up at me. I felt like he could tell what happened, but nothing showed on his face. I was probably just projecting my thoughts and feelings onto him. My face flushed and I smiled, “Dean is coming back up. He wanted me to see if you were hungry.”

“I could eat.” He stopped what he was doing and stood. “Let’s just go back downstairs and meet Dean. Save us a few minutes.”

I knew my face was brighter, but there was nothing I can do about it. I was worried that he would still be...well, not something that you would want your brother to see. But I knew that I couldn’t do anything about stopping Sam without giving him more information than I wanted. So we just went downstairs.

We met Dean as he was just about to come into the building. My face heated up as soon as he looked into my face and smirked. I stopped and couldn’t help but look into his eyes.

If Sam hadn’t realized something had happened between us, he definitely knew now. All three of us were quiet while Dean and I stared at each other which seemed like minutes. Sam cleared his throat and I looked at him. He looked a little confused, “Dinner?”

“Please.” I walked past Dean, trying my best not to touch him. When we got to the car, I realized that it was going to suck sitting down. My ass was sore from Dean, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a little bit bruised. It felt so good at the time, but the after effects were the least fun part.

On the drive to the diner, Dean kept looking in the mirror at me, which basically meant my face was flaming red the entire time as well. Sam’s face was curious, eyes bouncing between the two of us, wondering what had transpired between us. It probably didn’t help that every time I moved I winced.


	5. Chapter 5

At the diner, Dean and Sam sat at one side of the booth, leaving me alone on the other side. While we waited for our order, Sam asked, “Should we figure out the major differences between our world and yours?”

“Do you mean, like what I saw on television versus what really happened? Or, do you mean like the actual differences?”

“Let’s start with mine and Dean’s lives versus what you saw on television.” Sam chuckled, “We may not know everything about our reality, but I promise you that we know what happened to ourselves.”

The waitress brought out our food and I took a bite of my burger, thinking about where to start. “How do you want me to start? Or better yet, where do you want me to start?”

Dean was quiet, he just ate his burger. Sam had this look on his face, one I couldn’t identify. But he looked so serious, “Why don’t you start from the beginning. Didn’t you say that there were 14 seasons of the show you watched.”

“Yes. It’s called Supernatural. Just like the book series, and like the show in the reality Balthazar sent you to.” I took another bite of my burger, “I guess we’ll start with season one. Your dad went on a hunt, alone. After your mother died when you were younger because of the yellow-eyed demon, he became obsessed. Obsessed to the point that he stopped taking care of his children.”

“He wasn’t that bad,” Dean interrupted. “He did the best he could.”

“Oh, I’m just sure that he did the best he could.” My voice was chiding and sarcastic, “He left you alone in motel rooms to take care of your younger brother. Sometimes, he didn’t give you guys enough money for food. How many times did you go hungry so you could feed Sam, Dean? How many times did you have to figure out things no child should ever have to figure out, simply because your dad was so set on revenge? How many times did you have to steal just to make sure that Sam was fed? I know that you went hungry so you could give him your food. Don’t tell me that he did the best he could.”

The storm in Dean’s eyes was palatable, but just before he could say something in anger, Sam placed a calm hand on his arm, “Dean.” His voice was soft, “We know what dad was. We know that it wasn’t right.” Dean tried to interrupt but Sam didn’t let him, “No, Dean. You don’t get to be angry at her for knowing the truth. You also don’t get to be angry at me. Let her talk.”

When neither of them said another word, I continued, “Your dad was obsessed with finding and killing the yellow-eyed demon. But Dean, you hadn’t heard from him in a while and you were getting worried because he wasn’t answering his phone either. Sam was at Stanford studying to be a lawyer, and you broke into the house he was sharing with Jessica. You guys went off to try and find him but instead ended up getting ‘sent’ by him to deal with a woman in white. The end of the episode, was when Jessica died.”

“The rest of the season was you guys killing a bunch of other monsters. But then Sam started getting visions. You guys returned back to your childhood home and saw your mother’s ghost protecting the family that was living there from a malevolent spirit. Sam continues to have visions, and you find Max whose mother was also killed by the same demon as your mother. He had telekinesis while you had premonitions.”

“Things kept happening, then your dad finally shows back up again when you meet Meg and call your dad to tell him about her calling demons or something like that. He apparently thought it was enough of a reason to show up. But it turned out that it was a trap for him. No one dies, except Meg who was possessed by a demon.”

“My favorite story was when you guys met Sarah. She was so pretty, and Sam, you guys were really cute together. I have to admit that I always thought you two would have worked out well together. But I know that you weren’t completely over losing Jessica, and it’s not like you guys live a normal life. After a bit, you guys got back together with your dad who wanted to go after the Colt. A pack of vampires had it, and John decided he needed it to kill the demon. One of the things that pissed me off was when John was possessed by the yellow-eyed demon. Dean, he told you that he was proud of you, and that's how you knew it wasn’t your father. You knew that he would have been pissed at you for wasting a bullet, that he would have yelled at you for fucking up. But instead, he was being a better father possessed than he ever was otherwise. Then you guys got hit by a truck in the Impala, and that was where season one ended.”

“Can I talk now?” Dean seemed calmer but still irritated. I nodded, “Dad was a pretty shit father, we know that. But he did do the best he could after our mother died.”

“What about…”

He stopped me, “No, let’s not argue about this right now. Season one sound pretty much like what happened to us. I’m sure there were small differences, but the gist of what happened is correct.”

“So, season two. Your dad dies after getting a demon to fix Dean. Ellen and Jo make an appearance for the first time. During the same episode as the killer clown ghost. And yes, Sam, I know how much you hate clowns. Then you guys meet Andy, another of the children that the yellow-eyed demon infected with demon blood. He had the power of persuasion. He was actually a pretty good guy, which is why you guys let him go as long as he didn’t use his powers for evil.”

“You guys ended up on a hunt with Jo, who almost died. I’m going to be honest with you Dean, I’m glad that you guys didn’t end up together, at least on the show. She just seemed so young to me. There are other reasons, but I won’t go into them.”

“Actually,” Sam started to say before Dean glared at him.

“Look, I don’t care who either of you fucked or fuck. It’s no skin off my back who you get your rocks off with. Let’s just get back to the differences.” I took another bite of my burger, “Jo almost died from the ghost, but you guys saved her. Ellen was really pissed off at you guys. She didn’t want her daughter to be a hunter like her father was. Other things happen and then you guys end up in the town with the Croatoan virus. Sam gets infected but nothing happens. That’s when Sam finds out the truth about what Dean was told by his father. That Sam was infected by the demon and that if he went evil, it was Dean’s duty to kill him. More stuff happens, then Sam has to kill another woman that he sleeps with.”

I gave Sam a sly smile, “You know, that’s actually a running joke in the fandom. That all the women you sleep with eventually die.”

Sam looks irritated, “Ha...ha...ha. I know I don’t have the best track record with women, but they don’t all die.”

“I know Sam,” I reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “Dean gets captured by a Djinn and sees what life could have been like. I’m not sure how, but you figured out it wasn’t real and you killed yourself in the dream and ended up back in the real world. Sam, you ended up in a ghost town with a bunch of other kids that had demon blood in them. Azazel was trying to see who was strongest. You were stabbed. Dean sold his soul, giving him a year to live in exchange for bringing you back. The end of season two, you guys opened the gates of hell. However, you did release your dad from hell, so it wasn’t all bad.”

“How the fuck did they get so many details about our lives?” Dean’s voice was shocked. “With the book series, Chuck wrote them because he was a prophet and thought he was going crazy. He was seeing our lives. But, how did your reality get it?”

“I don’t know. We don’t have monsters, angels, prophets. At least as far as I know. We have stories of course, but most of those stories have been proven false by science. I’m an atheist, or at least I am in my reality. Now that I’m here, I guess I have to accept that angels, demons, and monsters are real.” Sighing, I continued, “So, onto season three. This is the one where you guys meet Ruby. She was blonde at the time and had the demon-killing blade. Dean sees Lisa again for the first time in years and meets Ben, who the entire fandom is pretty sure was actually Dean’s kid, even though Lisa denied it. Oh, and you met Bela.”

“Bela, god I almost forgot about her,” Sam smiled. “She really was something.”

“That reminds me. If I ever meet Crowley, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind about buying the souls of children. As little as I like kids, they are not old enough to make the decision on whether or not to sell their soul. Bela was too young. She only sold her soul because she was being abused by her dad.”

The pretty little waitress came back, “Would y’all like some dessert?”

“Do you have pie?” his voice was hopeful.

“Apple, peach, cherry, and chocolate.”

I held up my hand, “I’ll take a slice of chocolate. And he’ll take the apple, it’s his favorite.”

Dean smiled at me as Sam said, “I’m good.”

When she left, I continued, “So season three continues with more sightings of Bela and Ruby. Ruby helps Bobby rebuild the Colt, and this was the season with the hundred Tuesdays. I’m still mad at Gabriel for that. I’m assuming that you guys do know that Loki, Gabriel, and the Trickster are all the same person.” They nodded, “We meet the Ghostfacers for the first time in this season as well.”

“Alright, first difference. Who the fuck are the Ghostfacers?” Dean had a disgusted look on his face.

“Wait, are you talking about those bloggers we ran into at the Morton mansion?” Sam asked.

“Well, that is the first time they were on television. But in the show, they got bigger and bigger, at least in their own mind.”

“Yeah, they stopped all that after seeing their first real ghost. I’m pretty sure that they were literally scared straight when that happened.”

“Thankfully. Those asshats nearly got themselves killed,” Dean said as the waitress put down our pies. He took a big bite of his and moaned, “God, this is so good.”

I took a small bite of mine, “Some other stuff happens, and then Dean is killed by hellhounds and Lilith comes. But some light or something comes for Sam from Lilith, but it doesn’t do anything to him. Season four starts with Dean waking up in his grave. Castiel had pulled you from hell. Let me just say, Castiel is definitely one of the favorites of the fandom. It was actually the fandom that got him to be a regular on the show. Pamela lost her sight trying to figure out who it was that pulled you out of the box.”

“Dean gets sent back in time, meets his parents before they got married. During this season, Sam was sneaking off with Ruby, drinking more demon blood, working on increasing his powers so he could kill Lilith. Basically, this season was about angels being dicks, Sam being stupid, and we meet Adam, John’s son that he never told you about. Dean and Bobby trap Sam in the panic room Bobby built, trying to force him to detox from the blood. But Ruby gets him out, takes him to kill Lilith, and in the process betrays him so Lucifer can rise.”

“The biggest thing to happen in season five was Dean visiting the future. Castiel was a hippie sleeping with anything that moved, and future Dean was kind of an asshole. Although, he was a pretty good leader. You guys end up at a Supernatural convention. Bobby’s wife comes back as a zombie, just like several others who had died. Adam comes back from the dead, the angels use him for Michael’s host. You guys get the rings from the four horsemen and Sam says yes to Lucifer to trick him. You and Adam end up trapped in a cage in hell with Michael and Lucifer.”

“Season six, Sam is pulled out of hell with no soul. Dean, you did as you promised, you didn’t try and free Sam. For a year, you lived with Lisa and Ben. I think you were happy. Sam wasn’t actually in hell that whole time, he was running with a crew of hunters, the Campbells. Another thing, your grandfather is an asshole too.”

“Yeah, I did go to Lisa. But I didn’t stay with her.” I looked at Dean. This was the first really major difference, at least from the part of the story that I had told. “He wanted me to be happy, but I just couldn’t leave my baby brother in hell. I tried everything to get him out, only to find out that he was alive the entire time. Took me a long time to get over being pissed about that.”

“I wonder if this is where the story starts to differ?” The motioned for me to continue, “Dean is turned into a vampire, you guys have to deal with fairies, and Meg comes back. This is when you guys are sent to an alternate reality with the television show. Sam, you find out that you are married to fake Ruby. Just in case you were wondering, Jared really is married to fake Ruby. They have three kids together.” I look at Dean, “Jensen is married too. His wife is gorgeous, and they also have three kids. Misha, who plays Castiel, has two kids. His wife has even written books on the threesomes they have. I own it, but haven’t read it yet.”

“Oh, you like threesomes do you?” Dean’s eyes sparkled.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I could tell Sam was getting uncomfortable, so I turned my tale back to the show, “You guys go back to the time of Samuel Colt, he sends you a package with the phoenix ashes and your phone, Sam. You also get your soul back and the wall breaks in your head holding back the awful stuff that happened while in hell. You end up in a mental institution with hallucinations of Lucifer, of course, that was in season seven.”

“Season seven, Castiel fashions himself as God after eating the souls from purgatory. Sam is having flashbacks from hell and hallucinations. Dean gets put on trial for his sins by Osiris. Then we were introduced to the leviathans. There were so many dick jokes that season. The fandom was pretty sure that Dick Roman was named that purely for the jokes. Bobby gets shot in the head by Dick and dies.”

Before the boys could correct me, I added, “I know Bobby isn’t dead. You already told me that he was shot in the stomach instead of the head.”

“Yeah, it was a gut shot. It was pretty awful and he did die, but it was only for a few minutes before the hospital brought him back.” Sam sighed, “The leviathans are something that I don’t enjoy remembering, not even a little bit. Especially when I think about the hamburgers.”

Dean gagged a little, “Those things tasted so good, but when I saw what they looked like inside,” he shuddered. “I’m just glad that we killed those bastards.”

“Let’s see, what happened next? Well, Dean gets stuck in the ‘40s and Sam ends up in a mental hospital. Castiel takes on Sam’s hallucinations and it puts him in a coma. Charlie helps you guys with Dick, and Kevin becomes a prophet. Castiel eventually wakes from the coma, but he’s gone a little crazy. I think I recall Dean saying something about him showing up naked on the Impala covered in bees.”

Dean laughed loudly, ”Oh yeah, that was a sight to see. Pretty sure I have a picture of that on my phone somewhere.”

“You’ll have to show it to me before I leave. Well, you kill Dick and end up in purgatory with Castiel. You were stuck there for a year. That’s where you met Benny. When you escaped, you found out that Sam gave up hunting and met a girl. You felt betrayed that he didn’t even try to get you out.”

Sam stopped me this time, “Actually, that’s not entirely true. I did meet a girl, but I never gave up trying to find Dean. And the girl, Amelia, she didn’t last very long, maybe a month. I was stuck in one place for a little bit doing research, and one night when I was out I hit a dog. We had some fun, but her husband came back after she thought he was dead and I moved on. But there was no getting him out of purgatory, at least not from what I could tell.”

“Season eight had to do with the three trials to close hell. But Dean stops Sam from completing it because it would kill him. You guys find the Men of Letters bunker and move in. I hope we get to stop there before you find a way to send me home. I’ve always been curious to see it. Plus, it’s a bunker. When I was a kid, living someplace like that would have been the coolest thing ever. The worst thing about this season was Metatron. He tricked Castiel into helping him get the pieces for a spell that kicked all the angels out of heaven and cost him his grace.”

“Season nine, Sam got really bad after not completing the trials. He was in a coma and Dean tricked him into accepting an angel to possess him. Gadreel pretended to be Ezekiel and took him over to heal him. Dean didn’t tell Sam though, because he knew that you would rather die than be possessed. But, Gadreel was working with Metatron and takes over Sam, killing Kevin. Sam kicks out Gadreel and Castiel heals him. Dean takes on the mark of Cain and ends up getting stabbed through the heart at the end of the season. You come back to life when Crowley puts the first blade back in your hand, but come back as a demon. Before that though, Castiel leads a rebellion with the angels, and he eventually takes back heaven and locks Metatron up. But Gadreel redeemed himself at the end when he showed Castiel the back door into heaven. He ended up dying to help Castiel.”

“Well, part of that is true. Dean did trick me into accepting Gadreel, but I knew shortly after. He told me.” The brothers looked at each other and then back at me, “Kevin didn’t die. Gadreel was working with us to stop Metatron. He was told that he had to kill Kevin and get the tablets. We decided that it was better to play along with what Metatron wanted, and that helped us trick him so Cas could take over heaven. Gadreel never betrayed us, he was working with us all along.”

“I have to say that I’m happy to hear that. The show made him seem like such a bad guy. I mean, he did get his redemption arc, but it’s not the same as knowing that he was a good guy the whole time.”

“Gadreel didn’t die either, but he was instrumental in destroying Metatron.” Sam smiled, “And that’s another thing, Metatron was destroyed. He’s not locked up in some dungeon, we couldn’t take the chance of his getting out again.”

“Happy to hear that too. The only person I despised more than Dick was Metatron. Well, in season ten Dean is a demon, but Sam and Castiel eventually cure him, but he still has the mark. Charlie returns from Oz and Rowena, Crowley’s mother, shows up. And the 200th episode, there was a musical based on your lives. Some kids at a high school wrote the play based on the books. Death says that he can help you get rid of the mark, but you have to kill Sam. Instead, you kill Death and Rowena removes the mark using a spell.”

“Now, I was rewatching the series when I ended up here. So I haven’t seen seasons 11 through 13 in a while. But I remember some of it. Amara shows up, she is God’s sister. You guys were going to kill her, but end up not doing it. To thank you, she brings your mother back. Then Lucifer comes back and you guys find a baby, who turns out to be the son of Lucifer, Jack.”

“Well, Rowena did remove the mark,” Dean said. “But I didn’t kill Death. And Amara, I don’t know who she is. That never happened. I’m guessing the people who somehow knew some of our lives didn’t think that killing vamps and werewolves was enough excitement. And trust me, if our mother was brought back I would be overjoyed. But she wasn’t.”

“So, I’m guessing that’s where everything diverges. When you got healed of the mark.”

“Plus,” Sam added, “As far as I know, there was no musical made about our life. Although, I think that would be fascinating to see.” He looked at his phone, “It’s getting late, I think we should head back to the hotel. Dean and I are going to go out and burn the bones tonight. We couldn’t do it while the graveyard was open, so we’re gonna sneak in tonight and do it so we can leave in the morning.”

Sam stood, “You guys go out to the car, I’ll take care of the bill.”

Dean and I walked out to the car. Once we were both in, Dean turned around in his seat to look at me, “So about earlier…”

“Let’s not do this right now,” I pleaded with him. “Aren’t you the one that hates talking about your feelings.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not talking about feelings here. I got you off and blistered your ass, no feelings required for either of those things.”

“Then what exactly do you want to ‘talk’ about,” I couldn’t keep the anger from my voice. “If you’re worried I’m going to tell Sam, you can go fuck yourself. I have no plans to go and tell him that I was an idiot who thought Dean Winchester might be more than the playboy the show portrayed him as. But now that I know who you are, don’t worry, I won’t give away your secret.”

“That isn’t what I was going to…” Dean stopped as Sam opened the door and climbed into the passenger seat.

“You guys okay?” Sam asked. I think he could tell that something had happened between us.

I thought quickly, “Dean is still mad at me for earlier. Don’t worry about it, Sam.”


	6. Chapter 6

The ride back to the hotel was quiet. I had to hold back tears the entire way. Now, I know in my head that feelings aren’t developed that quickly. But knowing Dean, even if it was only the character of him, I feel more for him than I thought possible. Especially after meeting him. But to hear him dismiss me like that, it hurt more than I really wanted to admit.

Back in the hotel room, before the guys left I pulled Sam to the side, “Hey, you mind if I sleep with you tonight?” He gave me a curious look, “I’m just not up for dealing with Dean’s emotional issues tonight.”

“Sure.”

After they left to go and burn the ghost's bones, I got dressed and climbed into Sam’s bed. It didn’t take long before I was asleep.

As a person who is a heavy sleeper, I’m actually shocked that I kept waking up each evening. This time, I awoke when the boys got back from their trip to the graveyard. I knew they were trying to be quiet, but it’s like I was becoming attuned to them. But I didn’t move from my position on the bed.

“Sammy,” Dean’s voice sounded angry.

“No, Dean. You don’t get to ‘Sammy’ me. Don’t blame me for your fuck ups.”

“This isn’t my fault.” He still sounded angry, but more like an angry child now. “I didn’t do anything.”

“That’s the problem, Dean. You never do anything.” Sam sighed, “Just let it be. She doesn’t want to deal with your mood swings right now.”

“But Sammy…”

“No.” They were quiet for a few minutes, the only sound being them changing. “Something happened between you two. And before you turn into a little bitch about it, she wanted to sleep in my bed tonight. I’m not going to touch her, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“I’m not worried about that.”

“Please, it’s written all over your face.” Another couple minutes of silence, then Sam added, “I’m guessing that whatever happened between you two that you trivialized it. I can tell that you feel something for her Dean. And before you say it’s too soon, it doesn’t work like that. I’ve seen the way you look at her, and I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”

“She’s leaving, Sammy,” Dean’s voice sounded soft and sad.

“So you’re going to deny yourself a chance at happiness, just so you don’t get hurt? Life's too short, Dean. I would sell my soul to have just five more minutes with Jessica. Just think about it.”

The bed moved as Sam got in and I laid there waiting for them to fall asleep. When both of their breathing slowed, I let my eyes open. I wasn’t crazy earlier. I thought there was something happening between me and Dean, but he just denied it. But I understood, he didn’t want to get too close to someone who wouldn’t be around for long. I didn't want that either. But I couldn’t help the way I was feeling.

I laid there for several minutes, just staring at Dean sleeping. It didn’t take long until his eyes opened to look back at me, “You know, it was creepy when Cas did it too.”

“Sorry.” But I didn’t close my eyes. “I just woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep.”

He moved towards the center of the bed and lifted the blanket up, “Come here.”

“What?”

“Come here,” he motioned to the spot on the bed next to him. When I didn’t go to the bed, he tried a different tactic, “Look, you’ve helped me sleep, let me help you. I promise I have no plans to molest you in your sleep.”

“I’ll be fine.”

He let go of the blanket, “Alright.”

Dean rolled over and turned away from me. I felt bad, he was trying to offer me comfort and I rejected him. But I couldn’t let myself be closer to him. I waited until his breathing evened again and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

 

The next morning when I woke up I was alone in the room. The shower was running, but I was the last one in bed. I was assuming that either Sam or Dean was in the shower, the other one probably getting breakfast.

The shower shut off and the door opened, a nearly naked Dean coming out. I couldn’t help but stare, letting my eyes travel the length of his body. He stopped in the doorway and leaned against it, posing in such a way that every part of his body was on display.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?”

I stood, walking over to him. I let my fingers trail down his chest towards the towel wrapped around his waist. They hovered at the edge of the towel and I licked my lips. “I always like what I see with you, Dean.” I moved a little closer to him so my body was pressed against his.

His eyes dropped to my lips and I leaned forward, whispering in his ear, “I would fuck you into next week, but I don’t do casual relationships. And I’m not staying, Dean. I’m sure as hell not going to put myself through the heartache that would come from being with you when you are the type to just fuck and move on.”

I pushed myself away from him and moved around him into the bathroom. As I shut the door, I added, “I like you. I mean, I really like you, but I can’t do this back and forth with you. You were hot and heavy with me, and then you pulled back. Now you are flirting with me again. Decide what you want, then let me know.”

I shut the door and leaned against it, fighting back tears. What was I doing? This was like playing with fire. I knew that I would get burned if I wasn't careful. 

I went to the bathroom and then splashed water on my face before going back out again. This time, Dean was gone and Sam was there packing up his bag. The second he looked at me I started to cry.

Sam walked over and pulled me into a hug, “Hey now. I know this is hard, but we're going to get you home.”

“That's...that's not it,” I managed to.get out between sobs. “Dean…”

“What did he do now?” Sam pushed away for a second to look at me, holding me by the shoulders, “What did he say to you?”

“I can't do this Sam. It hurts too much.” I scrubbed at my eyes with the palms of my hands and tried to steady my breathing. “I wish it was you. God, I wish it wasn't him. But it is. This feeling in my soul, it's for him. Why couldn't it have been you?”

Sam looked confused for a second, then understanding dawned on him. He pulled me back in for another hug, “I'm sorry. Dean is not good with emotions. Just give him some time.”

“I don't have time, Sam. You guys are taking me to Bobby to see if he can figure out how to send me back, remember?”

I pulled away and got out some clothes. “Look, I just need to get dressed and I'll meet you outside.”

Sam left and I got dressed. I took a deep breath and tried to relax. I was making a decision. That decision was that I wasn’t going to pine over Dean like a lovesick teenager anymore. He made his choice, and even if I had overheard something that made it seem like he cared, I wasn’t going to believe it until he told me himself. Not to mention that I was going home.

When I got to the Impala, I tossed my bag on the backseat and laid down, resting my head on the bag.

Dean held up a bag, “Breakfast?”

“I'm just going to sleep. I didn't sleep so well last night.”

“Alright, sweetheart.”

I closed my eyes and laid on my side, facing the back of the seat. I wanted to be able to pretend to sleep if necessary. However, I hadn't lied to Dean when I said I didn't sleep well. Sleeping next to Sam was awkward, especially after everything with Dean. But, I managed to fall asleep in the car, the roar of the engine putting me into a deep sleep.

It didn't seem like that long before the car stopped and the boys were waking me up. “Time for lunch, Emily,” Sam said.

I looked and saw that it was just me and him in the car. “Where's Dean?”

“He just went in to say hi and get us a booth.”

When we went inside, Dean waved us over to where he was sitting. Sam took the seat across from him, forcing me to choose which one I was going to sit by. I sat next to Dean but kept myself several inches from him.

“Hey boys,” a feminine voice said. I looked up and saw a pretty blonde girl smiling. She looked familiar, but I wasn't sure until I saw her name tag. It read Jo. But she was dead. I thought back to what I had told the guys, trying desperately to remember if I had told them about Jo and Ellen dying.

“And for you?” Jo asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Umm,” I glanced at the menu. “I'll just have what Dean's having.”

“Alright, so two bacon cheeseburgers and a chicken salad.” She gave both boys a soft look, “Be right back.”

When she left, I turned so I could see both of them, “Jo's alive?”

“Yes?” Sam sounded confused. “Wait, is she not in your world?”

“No. She and Ellen died saving you guys from hellhounds. Jo got slashed in the gut with claws and there was no way she was going to make it. To buy you guys time to trap Lucifer, she was going to blow them up. Ellen died too because she couldn't let her daughter die alone.”

“What's this about me dyin’?” a gravelly voice asked. 

I looked up and saw Ellen standing next to the table, her arms crossed and an angry look in her face. “Uhh,” I thought quickly, “I read the books.”

“Strange, I don't remember nothin’ about me or my baby girl dyin’ in those.”

The fact that she had read them shocked me, but I tried to not let it show. I tried to come up with a plausible explanation that would satisfy her, “Fanfiction?”

“Hmmph,” she sounded perturbed. “You best not talk about people dyin’ around here. This is a hunters bar, and we don't take kindly to strangers talkin’ about us in that sort of way.”

She walked away and I looked back to the boys, “Well, I'm glad to know they didn't die. Even if Ellen hates me.”

“She doesn't hate anyone,” Sam laughed. “She's just a mother hen, worrying about everyone and everything.”

Jo came back with the food and set the plates on the table, glaring at me while she did. After putting my plate down, she looked at me and said, “I don't know what you said to my mom, but after you are done don't come back. You aren't welcome here anymore.”

She stomped off and I looked down at my plate. A warm hand came to rest on my thigh and I looked over at Dean, “Don't worry about Jo. I'll explain it to her later.”

We ate our meal silently. When I was about halfway done, Sam piped up, “Dean, I think we might want to hurry up. We're getting some not so nice looks from the other hunters.”

I looked over towards the bar and saw several burly looking guys staring at me, “Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's just me that isn’t welcome.” I put down my burger, appetite gone. I threw down enough money to cover the bill and a nice tip, “I'll just wait outside.”

I got up and walked over to the bar, trying to ignore the eyes that followed me. Leaning against it, I looked at Jo, “You know what Joanna Beth, if you weren't such a little bitch you might have been able to get Dean to feel something for you instead of just having him think of you as a little sister. The Jo that I know is a strong, independent woman who takes care of herself and is actually a good person. Thanks for showing me how different you are from her.”

I stalked out of the bar and went over to Baby. Dean had the keys, so I just leaned up against it, hoping they would be quick. To my surprise, Jo came out of the bar and walked over to me, all traces of anger gone.

“What did you mean, the Jo you know?”

Sighing, I wiped a hand down my face. I didn't know how much I should tell her. I started with, “First, I'm sorry for what I said. This is just a hard time for me and you were… I'm not used to people not liking me.”

Jo smiled a little, “No, I'm sorry. You don't deserve that. It's not your fault that Dean never liked me that way.”

Taking a deep breath, I decided to tell her the truth. After all, she does know about the supernatural, “I'm from an alternate timeline. In my world you guys don't exist, not really. Just as TV characters. I know your dad was a hunter and that's how he died, and your mother doesn't want that life for you. But the Jo I know, she decided that she was going to do it anyway, almost got herself killed by a ghost…”

“Yeah, Dean saved me then,” she said shyly.

“This world is not exactly like mine, there are differences. You’re alive, Ellen is alive, Bobby is alive. I’m sure there are other things that are different as well. All I'm saying is, don't hold onto Dean so tightly that you end up never finding someone who can love you as you deserve.”

“Don't think Dean's good enough for…”

In held up my hand, “That's not what I mean at all. Dean is probably the best guy in the world. He loves with his whole heart, and if he thinks you are family he will die to protect you.” I sighed, “It's just that if this is the same in your world as in mine, Dean thinks of you as a sister. Or at least he does now.”

“I know,” her voice sounded sheepish. “I've actually been dating Ash for a while now and things are getting really serious. Like, shopping for a wedding dress serious. I’m actually pretty sure that he is it for me. I just still don't like to see Dean with other women.” Her smile was hesitant, but larger this time, “Do you really think that way about Dean?”

“I do. Dean is…well, he cares so much for everyone, but he bottles it all up inside. I think he's scared that if he lets anyone in he will lose them like he has so many times before. He just gives so much of himself,” I had to reach up and wipe away a tear that rolled down my cheek, “If I could have one thing for him, it would be that he finds some happiness, no matter who it is with. He deserves that and so much more.”

Jo surprised me by giving me a huge hug, and that was when I noticed the guys standing behind her. Dean expression was guarded, but Sam had his mouth open. 

I whispered in Jo's ear, “Just be happy. That is what your dad would want for you. To be happy and safe.”

When she let go and walked back into the bar, I gave the guys a sheepish look, “How much did you hear?”

“I'm not worth that, Emily,” Dean said quietly. Hearing his deep voice say my name did something to me, but his words broke my heart.

Walking over, I put a hand on his scruffy cheek and looked into his eyes, “You will always be worth that to me Dean. I've seen what you've done, the bad and the good. How you care for those around you, giving and never taking. If you are half the man the fake Dean is, you are a better person than you give yourself credit for. You deserve to be happy.”

Dean's expression looked haunted and he pulled away. Not saying anything, he just got back into the Impala and started her up.

Sam walked over to me and gave me a big hug, whispering in my ear, “I know this probably doesn't mean much, but thank you for caring about my brother.” Releasing me, he climbed into the front seat of the car and I got into the back.

The rest of the ride to Bobby’s was quiet. Dean hadn’t even put on his usual classic rock compilation, he just sat there in silence. I even tried to catch his eyes in the rearview mirror, but he didn’t look at me, not even once. Sam would look back at me every once in a while and give me a little smile. Like he was telling me that everything was going to be okay.

After a few hours, we arrived in Sioux Falls at Bobby’s house. I grabbed my bag as soon as the car was shut off and climbed out, heading for the front door. I knocked and heard a loud voice call, “What are ya idjits doin’? Just come in.”

The footsteps got louder until the front door opened and I saw Bobby. I couldn’t help the huge smile which was dashed really quickly when he threw water in my face.

“Bobby,” Sam yelled. “Do you really think we would bring a demon here?”

“It’s not like you haven’t done it before,” he shrugged and headed back inside. “Come on in. You must be the girl that the boys picked up in Vegas.”

“Yeah, I suppose I am.”

He headed into the kitchen and walked up to a woman who was standing at the stone. He put his arms around her and kissed her cheek, “The boys are here.”

The woman's head turned and I gasped, “Jody?”

Jody’s eyes narrowed, “How in the hell do you know who I am?”

Dean spoke up, “Jody, it’s a long story. Why don’t we all sit down for whatever that delicious smell is and we’ll tell you.”

“Fine, but I expect an explanation young man.” Jody looked beautiful even with the irritation that was plain on her face. I don’t know what I expected, but seeing her and Bobby together like this wasn’t it. I mean, I know they had a kiss in one of the episodes, but how did they end up together?

Sam, Dean, and I sat down at the table and I watched Bobby and Jody interact. They seemed so happy, so loving. It was really nice to see such an awesome thing happen after both of them lost their families to monsters.

Jody put bowls of stew in front of us and then they sat down with their own bowls. “Alright. Now someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on. Or do I need to go and get my badge?”

“First, can I say something?” I asked. Jody nodded, “I’m really happy that you and Bobby are together. You guys always did make a cute couple, but as secondary characters and with Bobby dying, you never actually got together.”

“I’m dead?” Bobby raised an eyebrow at that.

“Well, obviously not.” I took a bite of my stew and moaned, “Damn, Jody. This is delicious.”

“Thank you. At least someone appreciates my cooking,” she said as she glared at the boys.

“Alright, so I’ll give you guys the quick and dirty version. Basically, where I come from you guys are all television characters. And no, before you ask, it wasn’t the reality where Balthazar sent the boys. I actually just had my 34th birthday a few days ago and when I blew out the candle on my cake, I wished that I could meet Sam and Dean.”

“You didn’t tell us that,” Sam said quietly.

“Yeah, I left that out on purpose. No use in you thinking that I’m a crazy stalker fan like Becky. I have no desire to sell my soul to get one of you to marry me.” I took another bite of stew, “However, I would be willing to bet that isn’t why I got sent here. I’m 99 percent positive that magic and the supernatural doesn’t exist in my world. Anything supernatural has been proven false by science. So, I never even thought that anything would ever come of it.”

“I wouldn’t rule it out yet.” Jody leaned back in her chair, “What do you think sent you here?”

“I don’t know. But maybe we can ask Chuck.”

“Chuck? Why would we ask him?” Dean seemed really confused.

I realized that they might not know that Chuck is God. Especially since the confrontation with Amara never happened. And if they didn’t know that Chuck was God, I certainly wasn’t going to be the one to break it to them. “Umm, well Chuck is a prophet. Maybe he wrote something down that would have to do with traveling between worlds.” I shrugged, “My next suggestion would be calling Castiel to come and ask him if any of the angels have heard anything.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed and I was pretty sure he was going to yell or throw something. But he just said calmly, “I’m pretty sure Bobby can figure it out better than he can.”

It was then that I remembered what Sam had told me. Dean and Castiel had some kind of falling out and were not really on speaking terms. My guess was that they had been lovers, but I sure as hell wasn’t about to ask him in front of his surrogate father. I pushed my bowl away with about half the stew left in it, “I’m going to take a walk.”

As I left the backdoor, I heard Bobby yell, “Damnit, Dean.”


	7. Chapter 7

I went as deep into the salvage yard as I dared and I stood there for a minute. I wanted to make sure that no one was following me. Closing my eyes, I prayed for the first time in over two decades, “Castiel if you can hear me, I need your help. I know that you don’t know me and that you have no reason to help me. But I’m stuck here in your world. While Sam and Dean are trying to help, I just don’t know if Bobby is going to be able to…”

The sound of wings stopped my prayer and I opened my eyes. A few feet from me stood Castiel, wearing the same trench coat and blue tie that made his character so iconic. “Please elaborate.”

I sighed and let my chin fall down to my chest, “I’ve told this story twice already, but I’ll tell you the quick version. Basically, I’m not from this reality. I’m from a reality where you and the boys are characters on a television show. I made a wish to meet them, and here I am.”

“Hmm,” he gently stroked his chin as he moved closer to me. “Do Sam and Dean know you are calling me?”

“No,” I blushed, “I got the feeling that you and Dean didn’t part on the best terms.”

“We were lovers if that is what you are implying. And you are correct, we did not end on the best of terms. But that had more to do with Metatron and me needing to be in heaven than anything else.” His eyes softened, “I will always love Dean, just as I am sure he will always have a place in his heart for me. But we were not meant to be. I have actually entered into a binding with Hannah since then.”

“A binding?”

“It is an angelic form of marriage.” Castiel smiled at me, “Now, why did you call me without letting the Winchester boys know?”

“I don’t want to hurt Dean, and I had a feeling that calling you with him near would do just that.” I felt tears well in my eyes, “But I need to go home. As much as I trust that Bobby will do his best, I think that you might be my best chance to at least find out what happened. And I know that there is no way in hell that they will ever let me summon Crowley.”

Castiel moved a little bit closer to me until he was about a foot away, “May I touch you?” I nodded and he put two fingers on my head and closed his eyes, “I do not sense any lingering magic. So you need not worry that it was the wish that brought you here. I will question the other angels in my garrison to see if they might have an idea as to what brought you here.”

Before he left he added, “And you may call me Cas if you desire. I know that Dean always said my name was a mouthful.”

I blushed, my mind going to a dirty place, “Would you rather I call you Cas? I want to make sure that whatever I call you, it is because you desire it not because Dean thinks you are too much of a mouthful.”

After I said that, I clapped my hand over my mouth and Castiel laughed loudly, “Thank you, Emily. It has been a while since a human joke has made me laugh so much. As for what I prefer, I like Cas. Castiel is the garrison commander, whereas Cas is the friend and brother to the Winchesters.”

“Thanks, Cas,” I walked up to him and gave him a quick hug. “I can never thank you enough for trying to help me.” He nodded and then with the sound of wings, disappeared.

I stood out there long enough that I realized I was starting to get cold. I had taken my cardigan off inside and had not put it back on before leaving the table. I shivered in the night air, not wanting to go back inside. A part of me felt bad for calling Castiel, but the other part of me knew that it needed to happen. 

I heard footsteps coming my way and turned towards them. When I saw Dean coming towards me I know that I had a guilty look on my face. He walked up to me and took off his jacket, draping it around my shoulders, “Damnit, Emily. It’s freezing out here. Why did you come out here without your jacket?”

“I wasn’t thinking,” I pulled the jacket tight about me, enjoying the warmth. “I just needed to…”

“I already know you called Cas.” He didn’t look or sound angry with me, but I wasn’t entirely sure that he wasn’t. “He didn’t want to go behind my back to help, so he popped in before heading back to heaven.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no apologies are necessary.” Dean put his arms around me and held me against his chest, “Cas and I have a history. We aren’t as close as we once were, but we remained friends.”

I figured I may as well confess to everything while he was being so open, “Yeah, he told me about your guy's relationship.”

“Does that bother you?” he pulled away from me a little to look at my face. “Does it bother you that I had a physical relationship with a guy?”

“No, why would it?” I raised a hand and placed in on his cheek, “You guys loved each other, I’m assuming.” He nodded, “That’s all that matters. Hell, even if it was just sex it still wouldn’t bother me. You have the right to be attracted to whomever you want. To be honest, if the fandom knew that you guys had been an item, I’m pretty sure that they would have had a coronary. There is some pretty steamy fanfiction about you two.”

“Seriously, fanfiction?”

“Yup, and like I said, it’s hot.”

His hands slid down to my ass and cupped the cheeks, pulling me tighter against his body. “Oh, did you enjoy it?”

I moved my hands down his chest until the hit the fly of his jeans where I could feel him starting to get hard, “Yes, actually. Thinking about you sucking Cas’s cock, or you guys fucking each other, really turns me on.” I rubbed my hand against his erection briefly before pushing him back, “But I’m still sticking with what I said earlier, Dean. I can’t do this with you if it’s only sex. Not that making this more than that is any better of an idea.”

Dean just looked at me and I couldn’t stop myself, “You are probably the hottest guy I have ever met. I mean, you are nearly 40 years old and you look like you just walked off a runway. Your body is hard,” his eyes twinkled at that. I just shook my head, “Yes, that is hard too. You are seriously a walking wet dream. And when I ever get home I will probably kick myself for this, but I won’t be a one night stand. I respect myself more than that.”

His face was serious as he mulled over what I said. “I don’t know if I can give you what you want.”

“I know.” I took his coat off and handed it back to him, “I don’t want to regret anything Dean. And to be honest, I don’t know what I will regret more. Sleeping with you, or saying no to you. But I know one thing right now. And that is no matter how fucking hot you are, no matter how wet I am right now for you, I need more than sex to be happy.”

I moved closer to him and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “I care about you, a lot. I know you, or at least alternate you, and I liked that guy first. But you are a thousand times better than fake Dean. You care so much, and as much as I'm loathed to say it, you are also a thousand times hotter. I mean, Jensen has a killer body, but he got his muscles from the gym whereas yours is from hard work. And with you, I don’t have to worry about a wife killing me.”

“If you want me to not try and fuck you, you’re going to need to not be pressed so tightly against me.” He lowered his mouth and captured my lips in a deep kiss. He held me against him so I couldn’t move, but I didn’t want to. When he released me, I was out of breath. Dean was as well, “I want you, Emily. I really do. But everything I’ve ever loved has either died or left me, and I don’t think I can take that again.”

“It’s okay, Dean. I understand.” And I truly did. “I’m going to go back inside, it’s cold out here.”

I turned back to the house and walked as fast as I could back inside. Tears were falling down my cheeks as I walked. Everything was hitting me at once, and the stress of being trapped away from my family and not being able to have Dean finally broke me.

By the time I was back inside I was full on sobbing. Sam, Bobby, and Jody were still sitting around the table talking.

Bonny took one look at me, “Balls. What'd the idjit do now?”

Jody just looked at them, “Guys, give us a minute.” They left the room and Jody stood, pulling me into her arms. “What's wrong?”

“I think I'm,” I hiccuped. My breaths were coming out short and fast, so I deliberately took a deep breath in and out. When I was feeling calmer, I pulled away, “I think I might be falling for Dean.”

“Oh, sweetie.” I could see the anguish in her eyes, “Are you sure? I mean, it's only been a few days.”

“I'm positive. I know more about his life than probably even you do. I've seen the bruises on his arms after he got arrested for stealing bread and peanut butter. And he didn't get those from a werewolf.” Jody's eyes widened, “I even know about Rhonda. And I won't tell you what about, I don't want to scar you. But even though Dean is different from the one on TV, he's better than him. I can feel it. I've watched him and Sam go through hell and back and always come out stronger for it.”

“But why are you so upset about that?”

“Because I will be leaving. Because he can't feel the same for me.” I wiped at my eyes, “He already told me that. Besides, I'm not saying I'm in love with him, just that I've never felt this strongly about anyone before. I feel a connection with him that keeps pulling me to him. But I won't allow myself to be just another notch on his bedpost.”

“Sweetie,” Jody's voice was gentle. “Dean just needs time.”

“I don't have time, don't you get it. Either Cas or Bobby is going to find a way to send me home. What then?” She tried to say something and I stopped her, “I think I need to lay down. Do you have a room I can use?”

Jody nodded. Leaving me upstairs, she pointed to a room. “That's the guest room, you can use that.” She pointed to the room next to it, “That's Dean's room, and the one across the hall is Sam's. Just try not to be too hard on him. If you have the time, don't give up on happiness, no matter how long you have it for. I wouldn't trade one minute of the time I had with my son before he died.”

“I understand, I do. But I don't think I'm that strong.” I gave Jody a small smile, “I wish I could be as strong as all the women I saw on the show and have since met, but I’m not.”

Putting her arms around me, she whispered into my ear, “You are stronger than you think.”


	8. Chapter 8

I went into the room and found my bag on the bed. Jody must have put it in there while I was outside talking to Cas. Looking at it, I decided it was time to see what was packed inside. I dumped the contents of the bag out onto the bed. Rummaging through the clothes, I took stock of what I had. Apparently, whoever had sent me here had decided to pack for all occasions. There were two pairs of jeans, two shorts, several fitted v-neck shirts, a couple of longer baggier t-shirts, a couple of long sleeve shirts, underwear, and socks. 

The negligee that I found earlier was probably the funniest of the lot. It was a pretty sheer piece of lingerie, with only rose decals stopping my nipples from being on display. It was black with a matching tiny black thong. There was one more piece of clothing in the bag that I wasn’t really sure about. I’m all about body confidence and loving yourself no matter your size or what you look like. But this dress was a little too little for the way I preferred to look going out. It’s a halter neck top, with a very deep v-neck and plunging back. Not only that, but the flowy skirt part only came about three inches past my ass. It was a gorgeous purple color though, so it had that going for it. But this was something that I had bought to go clubbing with, and at 34, I didn’t go clubbing and hadn’t for several years.

I rolled my eyes at the nonsensical items that had been put in the bag. Most of the items were useful, but the last two were just so out of my comfort zone being thrust into a world with hunters. I grabbed another of the longer t-shirts and a pair of boyshorts, changing into them. When I put the clothes back into the bag, I saw an envelope that had been hidden in the pile. I opened the pink envelope and pulled out a card with a cat on the front. The cat was wearing a party hat and had a cake with candles in front of it. The inside of the card had the words “Hope your birthday is the cat's meow” but nothing else. No handwriting on the inside where someone would normally put a personalized message. I flipped over the card and saw in a scrawling script “Enjoy!”

What the fuck did that mean? Now, I know that Paige couldn’t have sent me here. I mean, she might have money, but she’s not a fairy godmother. And since she didn’t send me here, she didn’t pack the bag and put the note in there. I sighed and just shoved the card into the bag before tossing it on the floor.

When I crawled into bed, I heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs and two voices arguing with each other. Sam’s voice was the first I heard, “You didn’t hear her, Dean. She was really upset.”

My first thought was ‘oh shit, he heard me.’ But that thought quickly dissipated because I had overheard several conversations that they had about me. Maybe it’s a good thing that he heard me. “She came inside crying.”

“I don’t know why she was so upset. I explained to her why I…”

“She really likes you. More than anyone I’ve ever seen, more than even Lisa. And you were on and off again with her for years.”

“What you’re not gonna say more than Cas?” Dean sounded petulant.

“You and Cas were different. I know you guys loved each other, but I think your relationship was more sexual tension than love. It took years of sneaking off to screw Cas before you even acknowledged you were sleeping him, let alone that you were bi.”

Dean’s voice came out sadder this time, “She’s going to be leaving soon, Sam. I just can’t even think about letting myself feel for her the way she deserves.”

I heard a door slam and then another close quietly after. I laid there for a few minutes, my mind turning with what I had just heard. But his words just echoed what I was thinking. I completely understood where he was coming from. The pain of leaving Dean if he and I had a thing, no matter how short it was, would undo me.

Because of what I just heard, I couldn’t fall asleep. I tossed and turned for about an hour before I finally gave up trying to sleep. I put on my sneakers and grabbed the blanket off the bed. Heading downstairs, I tried to keep quiet so I didn’t wake anyone.

It was really cold outside, but I still sat down on the back porch steps with the blanket wrapped around my shoulders. It didn’t take long before the back door opened. I didn’t look up at who was coming out, but when a warm body sat down next to me, I looked over, “Hey, Sam.”

“Hey, Emily.” He leaned up against me really quick before sitting back up straight, “I’m assuming that you heard what was said in the hallway.”

I flushed, “Yeah, I did.”

“It’s okay. I was actually pretty sure you would, which is why I finished up our conversation right outside your door. I just really felt it was important for you to know where Dean’s head was at, especially since I overheard some of your conversation with Jody.” He looked a little worried after admitting that, “I’m sorry that I listened. I was just worried.”

“Hey,” I put my hand on his thigh, giving it a squeeze. “It’s okay. You’re Dean’s brother and his best friend, so I can totally understand why you would be worried.”

“Oh, I wasn’t worried about him. Not right then. I was more worried about you. You just looked so upset when you came inside after talking to him.”

“That’s sweet.” I sighed, “I know that I keep saying this, but I just don’t know if I can let myself fall more for Dean than I already have. When I leave, it will just hurt too much. Plus, as he said, he can’t even think about liking me because I’m leaving.”

“Emily,” Sam’s voice was gentle. “I’m pretty sure he likes you already. He wouldn’t be this upset about everything if he didn’t. That’s just not the way that Dean works.”

“He’s right though. I’m leaving. What if I were to actually fall in love with him and then go home, it would kill me.”

“What if you were to stay?”

I stopped for a second to think about it, “My family and friends are there. My life is there. It would take more than just me feeling something for Dean to make me stay here and leave everything I know behind.” I pulled the blanket tighter around me, “So, I’m assuming you know I called Cas since Dean knew.” Sam nodded, “Well, I found out about them being together from Cas. Not that he told me much, just that it didn’t end well after Metatron was destroyed and he had to stay in heaven.”

“Basically, after we met Cas there was instant chemistry between the two of them. And this was before Dean even admitted that he liked guys. Well before he admitted to himself that he was bi.” Sam chuckled, “I think their relationship really started after Dean ended things with Lisa. I was still soulless at the time, but even like that, I could see the looks that they gave each other. Not to mention that they would run off together and I would hear things a brother never wants to hear coming from Dean’s room.”

“Why do you think it ended?”

“Well, I’m assuming that you know Cas and Hannah entered into a binding with one another. He probably said it’s like a marriage because he hates to tell the real story. But, after Metatron was destroyed, everyone was looking to Cas to lead them. He had already been their leader to depose Metatron, but they wanted him to continue, especially with the continued absence of God.” Sam sighed and looked up at the sky, “But none of the angels liked that he was consorting with a human. It didn’t matter that the human was Dean Winchester, the man who helped stop the apocalypse and helped to kill the evil dick that had taken over heaven. The other angels kind of forced him to take a political pairing with another angel to make him seem more legitimate.”

“That’s horrible.” I was shocked that they would pimp him out like that, “God, that has to be the worst thing I’ve ever heard. Poor Cas and Dean.”

“Oh, neither one of them were very happy about it. But Cas understood that to restore order and balance to heaven, sacrifices had to be made. He bound himself to Hannah, although their relationship is strictly platonic. Dean didn’t take that so well. He just about drank himself to death when Cas stopped seeing him. And that’s why they don’t really talk that much anymore.”

“Fuck, I would cry for them if I hadn’t already cried out my last tear earlier tonight.” Even so, a few tears spilled down my cheeks. “What about Lisa? Why didn’t that work out? I know you said they were off and on.”

“Dean and Lisa would have flings that lasted anywhere from a few days to a few months. Now, Dean loves the ladies. I would say that on the Kinsey scale, he’s probably a two at most. He enjoyed his relationship with Cas and has an unhealthy obsession with Dr. Sexy, but I’ve never seen him hit on another guy. Most of the time when Dean hooks up with someone, it’s female.”

“Makes sense with what I’ve seen on television. Except on television, the only hint that he and Cas were in a relationship was subtext.” A huge grin came to my face and I wiggled my eyebrows, “Although, you can’t spell subtext without buttsex.”

Sam threw his head back with laughter, quickly clamping a hand on his mouth to try and not wake up the rest of the house, “Oh shit, you have to share that with Dean. Well, maybe not Dean, but definitely Jody. She would get a kick out of it.” He sobered up, “Anyways, Lisa and Dean were okay together. I think the fact that she had a kid that was a lot like him was part of the reason he kept going back. He felt bad the kid had no father figure in his life. But honestly, she was what he thought he was supposed to have. What he was raised to believe is normal. A wife with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. He never even thought that maybe he could have something different.”

“That just makes me hate John more.”

“Dad did a lot of things that fucked us up. He pushed things on us that if I were an adult and he tried it, I would deck him. But part of that was just the way that he was raised, and the fact that he was basically a functioning alcoholic.”

I leaned against Sam, resting my head on his shoulder, “What about you? I know you had Jessica, even if that was almost 15 years ago, and then there were several others that followed including Ruby.”

“Jess was, well Jess was great. She was my biggest champion when it came to law school and loved me with her whole heart. Not to mention that she was ridiculously hot,” we both laughed. “When I lost her, I felt like my world had imploded. I didn’t even say goodbye to my friends, I just left with Dean and thoughts of revenge. I know I’ve said it before, but if I had just five minutes with her, I would tell her how much she meant to me and how much I miss her still to this day.”

We sat there together for a few minutes before he said, “Currently, I have an on and off thing with Sarah Blake. After I met her at the auction house, we kept in touch. It’s been more off than on, and it’s currently off, but we really care about one another. She’s actually in the process of trying to find a job in Lebanon to be closer to me so we can try and make it work.”

“That’s awesome, Sam. Sarah always seemed like she was really smart and would be a good match for you. I mean, not only is she gorgeous, but she likes you so she has good taste.” He gave me a funny look at the gorgeous comment, “I’m like a two on the Kinsey scale as well. Although, the difference between me and Dean is that I’ve never had the opportunity to be with another woman.”

“Oh god, don’t tell Dean. You will make all of his fantasies come true.”

I laughed, “I don’t have any plans to make myself more sexually appealing to Dean. He’s made himself perfectly clear that he can’t develop feelings for me, and I’m not a blow-up doll built for his pleasure.”

Sam laughed again at that, “Completely understand.”

“On a lighter note, have you ever thought about what you want for the future?”

“Shit, Emily. That’s a lighter note?”

“Well, it’s not as heavy as sobbing about the people we can’t have, or that we lost.”

“True.” He took a deep breath, “Honestly when I think about my future it’s not doing this anymore. I only keep hunting because of my brother. It’s not like he forces me to do it, or that I hate it. It’s just that I want a normal life. I want to get married, settle down and have kids someday. Live in the house with the white picket fence. I want to be able to hold my grandchildren one day and tell them scary stories about when I went out hunting monsters. More than anything, I would like to go back to law school and finish my degree. But I’m 35 years old, I think I might be too old for that.”

“You are never too old to finish school. My mother just got her degree a few years ago and she will turn 61 in January.” He gave me an appreciative smile, “Me, I want to find someone that I can spend the rest of my life with. I don’t want kids, don’t even really like them, but with the right guy, I could be convinced to have one if he really wanted to. I want someone who makes me a better person, who challenges me to continue improving. I eventually want to get married, and if I ever have nieces and nephews, I will be the best damn aunt they could have ever asked for.” I sighed, “What about Dean? Do you have any idea what he wants for the future?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. We don’t talk about that kind of stuff very often. All those conversations you’ve overheard, they are an anomaly. The only reason he’s even talked with me about you so much is that I’m pretty sure that he cares more than he lets on. Truthfully, I don’t think Dean has even thought about the future. He probably doesn’t think there is a way out of this life. He’s said more than once that he will die a hunter. So I’m not sure if it’s that he wants to stay a hunter forever, or if it’s because of how we were raised and the fact that it’s all he’s ever known.”

“I hope one day he gets to be happy at least.” I felt another tear trail down my cheek, “If I could have a do-over on my birthday wish, that is what I would wish for.”

Sam leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to my head as the sun was starting to peak over the horizon, “I’ve got a long day of research ahead, and you are ice cold. We should probably get to bed and try to get a few hours of sleep before this house becomes a zoo.”

I stood and gave Sam a big hug, “Thanks for sitting with me and talking. You are a pretty awesome human being you know. You could definitely give Jared Padalecki a run for his money.”

I followed Sam back up the stairs and turned to him, “Thanks for staying up and talking to me.”

“No worries, I’m always available if you need me.” He hugged me again and I felt safe in his warm embrace, “Just remember that no matter what happens, you have a friend in me.”

Before going to my room, I stood on my tip toes and kissed his cheek, “Thanks.” After giving him a soft smile, I went into the guest room and fell on the bed face down. I was fast asleep within seconds.


	9. Chapter 9

The next day I was extremely groggy when I woke. Sunlight was streaming in the window, bright and insistent. I stood and stretched, my vertebrae cracking. I put on some clothes and headed downstairs. A check of my phone showed that it was almost one o’clock. When I got to the main floor of the house, I started looking around to see who was up and about. The only people I could find were Sam and Bobby. They were in the study with stacks of books in front of them.

Sam looked up from his reading, “Morning, sleepy head.”

He seemed too cheerful considering how late we were up. I groaned, “Did you even sleep?”

Laughing, he just shook his head, “I’m always up by seven, no matter when I got to bed.” He must have seen the shocked look on my face, “Hey, don't worry. You didn’t force me to stay up and I enjoyed our conversation.”

Bobby looked up from the thick book he was reading, “Haven’t found anything yet, but we’re still looking.”

“In case I’ve forgotten to say it, thanks for helping me out, Bobby.” He just waved his hand at me, dismissing my gratitude, “Where are Dean and Jody?”

His eyes softened, “Jody got called into work, her deputy is sick. As for the boy…” He rolled his eyes, “He got out of research by claiming that his car needed a tune-up. So he’s out back in the garage.”

“Thanks, Bobby.” I looked at them, amazed at how similar yet different they were from their characters. “I would offer to help, but I think I would be more of a hindrance.”

“Don’t worry about it. I like helping Bobby.” Sam smiled, “Honestly, I’m glad Dean’s out back too. He would probably be blasting music in here which would just distract us.”

When they both turned back to work, I headed for the backyard. I found Dean in the garage, the hood of the Impala propped up with him leaning over it. Now, I’ve never really been an ass person, but Dean has an ass that looks like you could bounce a quarter off it.

I was enjoying the view when he turned around and grinned, “Get a good enough look?”

I wasn’t quite sure how to answer that. So I just went with the truth. “You know you have a great ass. You don’t need to fish for compliments.” I smiled to let him know that wasn’t a rebuke, “Bobby and Sam kicked me out of the study. I’m not the most useful person when I don’t come from a world with the supernatural. Figured I’d come to see what you’re up to.”

“You know anything about cars?”

“I can change a tire and add oil, but that’s about it.”

He looked a little disappointed, but as his gaze moved to my body his smile grew, “You can be my eye candy if you want.”

“As much fun as that would be, I think I’ll pass.” He looked a little sad, but I didn’t say anything about it. “Since Jody is at work, I was thinking of making dinner. At least then I can be useful. Do you think Bobby has a car that he wouldn’t mind loaning me so I can make a trip to the store?”

“His truck is parked in front of the house, keys are in it. Just let him know before you go.”

He turned back to the car, so I simply said, “Thanks.”

The trip to the store and back was uneventful. My debit card even worked, which made me check the balance of my account on my phone. Apparently, the thing that sent me here was trying to keep me happy, because there was way more money in there than I truly needed. I tried not to read too much into it. 

When I got back, I started with the pies. I was making my favorite, strawberry rhubarb, as well as an apple pie. I was putting together a homemade lasagna when Jody came into the kitchen.

“Wow, it’s been a while since anyone has cooked in here other than me.” She walked over to see what I was making, “That looks delicious.”

“Thanks,” I put the finishing touches on the lasagna before putting it in the oven. “I just needed to have something to do. I kept Sam up all night and…” When she gave me a look, I laughed, “Talking. All we did was talk until the sun was coming up. I couldn’t sleep, he was keeping me company. But like I was saying, I didn’t want to interrupt Bobby and Sam by trying to help them, and Dean is, well I’m kind of avoiding spending too much time with him.”

“Oh, sweetie.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, really.” She looked at me in disbelief, “Neither one of us is willing to risk the consequences of pushing our relationship right now.”

“Alright, well I’m going to get changed out of my uniform.” She still looked like she wanted to argue with me, but she just left the kitchen.

No one came in again until after the lasagna was finished and the pies were baking. Dean was the first to come, “Damn, something smells fantastic.”

His eyes met mine and I had the urge to kiss him. Thankfully, I was too busy setting the table. “After you get the grease off your hands, could you tell the others dinner is ready?”

“Yes, mom,” his voice was dripping with sarcasm.

I put my hands on my hips, “Don’t sass me. Or next time, it will be your ass getting bruised.” 

He strutted over to me and leaned down next to my ear, “Promise?”

I whispered back, “Only if you wear a pair of pink satin panties like you did for Rhonda.”

He threw back his head, laughing loud enough to wake the dead as he left the room.

I could hear voices talking outside the kitchen, so before everyone meandered in, I took a moment to try and steady my breathing. Just being around Dean turned me on, but the heat in his voice when he had said ‘promise’ had me feeling like I would explode with the slightest touch. It wasn’t helping with my conviction to stay clear of him.

I was taking the pies out of the oven when Dean came back in. His eyes grew wide when he saw them, and he moved towards them. When he tried reaching for the pies, I swatted his hand, “Those are for after dinner.”

“Who would have thought you would be such a dom?” his eyes twinkled.

“Only when I have to be.” The others came into the room then, so I was able to avoid the question in his eyes. Everyone sat down and didn’t speak a single word while they ate. It wasn’t until after everyone was done with their second helping that Dean looked at me with a hopeful look, “Pie?”

I went to stand, but Jody beat me to it, “I’ll get it.”

“So, how’s the research going?” I asked, genuinely curious to see if they had found anything in the past few hours.

Bobby ran a hand over his face, “Nowhere, unfortunately.”

Sam piped in, “We’ve found a couple of really dark spells for world travel, but they are pretty bad news.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to deal with those things. There has to be a less evil way of getting home. No matter how badly I want to go home, I’m not willing to do evil shit just so I can.”

When Dean took a bit of his pie, he moaned. I felt my face flush because his moan sounded very sexual, “Holy shit.”

The others took a bite of their slices and agreed with his assessment, “Thanks, guys. I’m glad you like it.” I took a small bite of mine, “So, I know Cas is looking, but I was thinking that there are others we could ask for help too. Balthazar is the one who sent you guys to an alternate reality the last time, so he seems like a good place to start.”

“Not a good idea,” Sam said. “He’s been a little off ever since he unsunk the Titanic. Knowing him, he would probably send you back in time to live with the dinosaurs or something.”

“What about Gabriel? He is an archangel after all. That has to mean something.”

An intense look flickered briefly over his face, “I’m sure Cas will ask him.”

“Fine. What about Crowley? He is the king of hell, maybe he has some ideas.”

Dean’s fist slammed into the table, “Absolutely not.”

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t believe his tone.

“You heard me,” he crossed his arms and glared at everyone, daring them to argue with him.

“You don’t get to be all domineering with me. Not only are you not my father, but we aren’t fucking either. Shit, we aren’t even friends.” I glared right back at him.

“I think what Dean’s trying to say is that Crowley never helps unless it benefits him,” Sam interjected. “Even if he could do it, he would ask for too much.”

“Well, if I want to sell my soul to get home, that’s my prerogative.”

Dean shouted, “No one is selling their soul!” He pushed back his chair and stormed out of the kitchen.

When I realized what I had said, I hung my head in shame, “Damnit, I forgot about his time in hell.” I stood, “I’ll go talk to him.”

I left the room before anyone could stop me. He had taken off in the direction of the backyard, so I went that way too. When I found him, he was smashing the windows of a car with a tire iron. I stood there for a second until he stopped for a breather, “I’m sorry.”

He dropped the tire iron and stalked over to me, “What exactly are you sorry for, Emily?” His voice was menacing, “Hmm, which part of that charade inside are you apologizing for.”

He was so close to me now that I could see flecks of gold in his green eyes, “I’m sorry that I forgot about the fact that you spent all that time in hell. That was inconsiderate of me.”

He laughed, but it didn’t sound happy, “That’s what you’re sorry for. Me spending forty years in hell.” He shook his head, “You know, there’s a reason I said no, and it has nothing to do with my time in hell.”

I pushed him away from me, “And there is a reason I told you not to be a domineering asshole. You don’t get to boss me around, Dean.”

“You liked it when I did before.” His gaze was taunting, “I seem to recall you having an orgasm after the spanking I gave you.”

My face flushed, “That’s different and you know it.” I softened my tone, “You have to understand, I lost everything, Dean. Everything. My family, my friends, my job, my life. Everything is back in the reality that I may never make it back to. Wouldn’t you do anything at all if it meant getting back to Sam? Haven’t you already done the same thing to get Sam back?”

“Crowley is not to be fucked with,” his voice was still forceful. “I get that you want to ditch us to go back to your life, but you don’t get to fuck us over with Crowley’s shit simply because you want to get home. I’m not letting you bring bad shit down on us just for that.”

I felt tears start welling up in my eyes and I quickly turned my back to him, “Fine.” I took a shaky breath, “You know what, I hope you realize one day how much of an asshole you were in this moment. That you look back on this and wonder what could have been different if you had just been kinder.”

I took off running to the house, tears falling down my cheeks. This was the second time in as many days that Dean had made me cry. Maybe it was better that he didn’t want to be with me. I was watching the ground as I ran, so I didn’t see Sam until I collided with him.

He put his arms around me and rubbed my back, “Shh, it’s okay.” He held me while I cried, not trying to force me to tell him what happened. There were footsteps behind me, but I just buried my face into his shirt. “Just go inside, Dean.”

Dean didn’t say anything, but I heard the back door shut. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

I took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. When I felt like I could talk without hyperventilating, I said, “I don’t know what is wrong with me. I never cry this much. I feel like I’m being a little baby about everything.”

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. Your entire life has been upended, and Dean is being a jerk. I would cry too, except I take my emotions out on him by punching him in the face.”

I laughed, “Next time I will have to try that.” I pushed away from Sam and rubbed my eyes, “He’s just being an ass again. I understand where he’s coming from. Honestly, I didn’t even think about the fact that asking Crowley for help could result in bad stuff happening to you guys.”

An angry look came over Sam’s face, “What the fuck did he say?”

“I don’t know,” my voice was timid. I didn’t want to come between the brothers, “Something about bringing bad shit down on you guys.”

“He knows that we are on relatively good terms with Crowley. Ever since the whole blood injecting incident, he’s been more amenable to help.” His tone was remorseful, “However, just because we are on somewhat good terms with the king of hell doesn’t mean that he won’t ask too much from you. But I’m near certain that he wouldn’t come after us just because you ask him for something.”

I heard Bobby yelling from inside the house, “Goddamnit boy. Get your scrawny little ass out there and apologize to the girl. If she comes in here crying again because of you, it will be a cold day in hell before you are welcome in my house again.”

The back door slammed open, and a petulant Dean came out. His shoulders were hunched and his hands were deep in his pockets. He just stared at the ground until I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked over to him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, “It’s okay, Dean. I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.” Then I continued past him until I was back inside the house.

I had finished crying, so before I opened the back door I took a deep breath and plastered a big smile on my face. “Alright, does anyone want to have a second serving of the pie?”

Bobby and Jody just looked at me. Clearly, they weren’t buying my act. But still, I continued, “It’s fine. Dean and I are fine. Don’t worry about me.” They had already finished the dishes, so I just looked around, trying to figure out what to do. “You know what, I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.” The back door opened, “I’m just going to go upstairs and pass out. Thanks for everything.”

As I went upstairs I heard Jody say, “Damnit, Dean.”

I didn’t even bother getting dressed this time. I just took off my clothes and crawled into bed naked. It didn’t take long before I was dead to the world.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning, I woke to a hand shaking my shoulder gently. I opened my eyes and saw Sam there. Luckily, my body was covered by the blankets, but I’m pretty sure he could tell I wasn’t wearing anything. His eyes stayed on my face, “We’re planning on leaving in a little bit. It’s about a six-hour drive from here to the bunker, so we want to get a somewhat early start.”

I held the blanket to my chest and sat up, “Thanks, Sam.”

His eyes dropped to my body before quickly returning to my face, “I’ll umm, just go now.”

I laughed quietly after he left. While I didn’t feel anything emotionally for Sam other than as a friend, it was nice to know that he wasn’t completely immune to my body. I certainly wasn’t immune to his.

After getting dressed and grabbing my bag, I headed downstairs. Dean looked up at me then quickly looked away, a distant look on his face. Bobby looked angry, but then again, he always looked angry except when he was looking at Jody.

I stopped in front of the group, “Thanks for helping me. Even if we didn’t figure it out, I’m sure that eventually we will.”

Bobby gave me a hug, “Just don’t let the idjit railroad you. He’s a good kid, he’s just got too much of John in him.” He went out the front door, motioning for Sam and Dean to follow him.

Jody looked at me, “You are a good kid, ya know.”

“Thanks, Jody.” I gave her a hug. “I’m really happy that you and Bobby found each other. You guys seem really happy together.”

“We are.” She smiled, “I know that Dean is a pig-headed asshole sometimes.” I gave her a look, “Okay, most of the time. But, truthfully, he is one of the best men I know. You just need to give him some time. Just don’t give up on him.”

“I don’t think I will be here long enough for that to matter.”

She pulled me into the living room and we sat on the couch, “Did you know that Lisa is Dean’s longest relationship? And the longest he ever stayed with her consistently was four months.”

“What about Cas?”

“Cas is great and I love him like a son. But they didn’t have a real relationship. Dean is a hunter, always traveling. Cas is an angel, and he spent most of the time trying to fix the things that were wrong with heaven. When they were together, it’s not like they were getting romantic and going on dates. They were either working a case or having sex. They were basically just friends with benefits.”

“I thought they loved each other?” I was confused.

“Oh, they did. They do. But when you’ve lived alone as long as they have, it’s hard to open up and be the partner that the other needs. Especially when you aren’t around each other that often to begin with.”

“I guess that makes sense.” Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair, “If he couldn’t make it work with Lisa or Cas, what makes you think that it’s a good idea for me to get involved with him? Especially if Cas or Bobby finds out how to send me home.”

“I don’t have a good answer for that. I just think you would be good for him.” When I tried to get up to leave, Jody put her hand on my arm, “Do you know about how John treated him?”

My voice grew angry, “John was an abusive asshole of a father. They never really touched on that during the show, but the things I saw sealed it for me. They showed me what an abusive bastard he was. If I ever saw him, I would punch him in the face before shooting him.”

She laughed, “Yes, John was abusive. And the boys know and acknowledge that. Let’s just say, it took years to get them to admit that their upbringing was shit. When you told me about the handprints on Dean’s arms, and his admonishment that they were from a werewolf, I asked him about it. I didn’t want to, but I had never heard that story. He told me about living with Sonny and stealing the bread and peanut butter. He admitted that John had made the marks when he was drunk before leaving the boys on another hunting trip. It made me even madder at John for how he treated the boys.”

“While I am happy to know the truth, I also wish I had been wrong. It’s long been a fact in contention within the fandom on whether it was from John, the police officer, or a werewolf. But I know how John treated his boys. I know how he would leave them for days at a time with not enough money for food. I mean, he raised them to forge credit cards and steal money. That is no way for a child to live.”

“I agree. But the reason I bring this up is that Dean didn’t get what Sam did. Sam went away to college. He got to experience what the real world was like without hunting, without his dad looming over his shoulder.” She patted my shoulder and then stood, “All I’m asking is that you not give up on him. I know you are leaving, but until you do, try to give him a chance.”

“I can’t promise anything, but I will try.” I stood too and we went outside. The boys were standing around the open trunk talking to Bobby. I walked over and tossed my bag in the trunk and gave Bobby a small smile before climbing into the backseat.

After a couple of minutes, the boys got in and we drove off. The car was silent. Dean didn’t even put on music, but he kept glancing at me in the mirror. I couldn’t read his expression, so I just leaned my head against the window and pretended to sleep.

After about ten or fifteen minutes, Dean started talking to Sam, “What should I do, Sammy?”

“About?”

“Emily.”

Sam sighed, “What do you want to do?”

“My body wants her, but my brain is telling me to keep my distance.” He sounded so depressed, I wanted to hug him and tell him that everything would be okay.

“I know it sucks, Dean. I would give anything to have more time with Jess. Sometimes, we don’t always have forever to love someone. We just have to live each day like it’s our last.”

“Who said anything about love?”

“Look,” Sam’s tone was chiding. “All I’m saying is don’t close yourself off to the possibility of something with Emily. I know she is leaving, but is it better to have some happiness or none?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.” Dean sighed, “Every time I’ve tried to do this, it’s turned to shit. Look at Lisa. Fuck, look at Cas.”

“Lisa didn’t work because she was what you thought you should have. She didn’t understand about the hunting, and she just wasn’t right for you.” I could hear how much Sam loved his brother and how much he was hurting for him, “Cas, well you guys didn’t work because it wasn’t that kind of relationship. I know how much you guys loved each other, but can you honestly say that you guys ever did anything other than fuck.”

Dean didn’t say anything so Sam continued, “But you guys didn’t last because you both have responsibilities outside of a relationship. Cas was needed to bring order to heaven, and you couldn’t go with him. You stayed here to continue making the world a better place.”

“I just don’t know, Sammy. Maybe I could have made them work if I tried harder.”

“Dean, did you really want them to work?” Silence. “Relationships don’t last. At least, they don’t last until you are in the one that does. You will know when you are with the one you want to spend forever with.”

They quieted down and Dean turned on the radio. I kept pretending to be asleep. I already felt bad overhearing the conversation, I really didn’t want them to know that I had heard. Thinking about what they had said, and what Jody had said. It made me realize that I didn’t know what was going to happen. I could die tomorrow, or I might wake up and realize this was all a dream. I still didn’t know what I was going to do, but it gave me something to think about.

After a couple of hours, the car stopped in a small town. I told the boys I wasn’t hungry so they would go without me. I didn’t have the energy to deal with my new revelation yet. Instead, I just sat in the car. When they went inside, I prayed, “Cas, I know you probably don’t have anything yet. But I could use your advice if you…”

With the sound of wings, he was sitting next to me on the back seat, “Hello, Emily.”

“Hey, Cas.”

“How can I help?”

“I don’t know what to do about Dean. I mean, I know what I want to do, but I’m scared.”

“What do you feel?” he knew just how to get to the heart of the matter.

“That’s the problem. I feel too much. It’s too soon to feel this way. I’ve only known him for five days.”

“You know him from the television show. I would say that is probably what strengthened the initial connection.”

I suddenly had a thought, “Oh my god, was I hit by a cupid’s arrow?”

“No, there was nothing scheduled and I would have sensed it. Plus, if you were, Dean would have been as well. Then you both would not be having so many reservations about something that should be simple.”

“Do you ever regret being with Dean?”

Cas shook his head empathetically, “Never. I will never regret my time with Dean. Nor do I wish I could have it back. We were good together in some ways, but in others, we were the completely wrong people for each other. I do regret how it ended, however. If it were not for the other angels forcing my hand, we would have ended in a different way. We would have ended eventually, but it would have been on our own terms.”

“Do you think it’s worth it? Is it worth loving someone only to lose them?” I could tell that I was getting emotional, but I needed to know.

Cas gave me a small smile, “Love is always worth it. The pain of losing a loved one is never fun, however, you learn things with that loved one that you would not have otherwise. It is as that Tennyson quote says, ‘tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.”

The car door opened, and the boys got in the front seat. They both turned to us. Cas spoke before I could, “I was just updating Emily. Unfortunately, none of the angels in heaven have heard anything. They are not even sure what being is capable of doing such a thing.”

I gave him a small smile and in turn, he looked at me knowingly, “Emily, I will continue in my endeavor to figure out how you got here and how to get you home.” He patted my thigh, “But until then, don’t give up hope.”

With the sound of wings, he disappeared again. The last statement had less to do with going home, and more to do with Dean. I knew that’s what he meant. I made a decision right then and there. That if Dean came on to me again, I wasn’t going to stop him. Even if it hurt me to leave him, I would regret not taking the chance more than I would regret being with him.

As we left the parking lot, the car was tense with silence. After a few minutes, Dean spoke up, “So he was just here to let you know that there is no news?” His tone was disbelieving.

I decided to give him a half-truth, “I wanted his advice on something. I’ve been trying to figure something out, so I wanted to get the perspective of someone who has been in a situation similar to mine.”

I could tell that Sam understood when he asked, “So, did you reach a conclusion?”

“Yes,” I put enough feeling and emphasis on the word so he would hopefully catch my meaning without me having to elaborate.

He smiled, “Well, I for one am glad that Cas could help.”

Poor Dean, he looked so confused, “What did you ask Cas that you couldn’t ask us?”

“It’s not important.” When he looked like he was going to push it, I changed the subject, “So I’ve been wondering something. Since there are several things that are different between the show and here, is Benny still stuck in purgatory?” When they didn’t respond right away, I tried to fill the silence, “Because, on the show, the second trial was to rescue an innocent soul from hell. This turned out to be Bobby. Since he’s alive, I’m guessing it was someone else that you rescued. But when Sam didn’t have a ride back, Benny went to help him find the portal. He ended up staying behind because he didn’t feel that he fit in the real world after spending so many years fighting every day.”

“I guess that’s where it’s a little different,” Sam said. “I did go through purgatory to hell and rescued an innocent. It was some woman from the 1600s who had been cursed by an evil witch. And yes, we did get trapped in purgatory on the way back, but Benny hitched a ride back. He’s actually working as a cook in one of his descendant's restaurants somewhere in the south. Every once in a while, he helps out with cases if they involve nests of vampires.”

“Oh, good,” I let out a sigh of relief. “I always liked Benny. He seemed like a nice guy for a vampire, and he is very handsome. And that accent,” I fanned my face. “I think the writers just couldn’t justify Dean being friends with a monster when he hunts them.” 

“Benny’s not a monster,” Dean sounded defensive. “He’s a better man than most hunters I know.”

“I didn’t say he was.”

“It’s not his fault that most vamps are evil bloodsucking bastards.”

“Dean,” I said firmly. When his eyes met mine in the mirror I continued, “You’ll get no argument from me. I always liked Benny on the show. He was gorgeous, had a sexy voice, and for a vampire was probably one of the best people on the show. I even had absolutely no problem when he killed Martin. Martin was a dickwad who deserved to die. He never should have used the girl as bait.”

“That’s not a popular stance among other hunters,” Sam stated. “Just be careful who you say that around.”

“Who am I going to tell?” The mood in the car had turned serious, so I tried to lighten the mood, “Have you guys ever thought about what you would do if you weren’t hunters?”

“Well, you already know what I would do,” Sam smiled. “I would finish my law school.”

“I’ve never given it much thought.” I saw Dean’s hands tighten on the steering wheel, “Hunting is all I’ve ever known. Besides, there is no way out. Once a hunter, always a hunter.”

I knew that couldn’t be it. He sounded so angry when he said that. Softly, I said, “You’ve never even thought about doing something else?”

“What would be the point?” he was definitely upset. My lighthearted question apparently brought up some buried feelings. “Wanting something you can’t have only makes you unhappy. Besides, wishes don’t come true. There is no point in wishing your life were different if there is nothing you can do to change it.”

My heart broke for the little boy Dean used to be. I would be willing to bet that as a child, Dean had wanted to grow up and be something else. But his father had dashed those dreams every time they came up, telling him the dreams were for sissies. To be honest, that’s probably why Sam went to college. Because Dean made sure to raise him telling that he was capable of anything he put his mind to.

“Dean, I’m…”

He stopped me with a look, “Sweetheart, it’s just the way life is.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Dean pulled up outside of the bunker. It looked almost exactly the same on the outside as the television show. 

Sam got out and gestured for me to follow, “Just leave your bag. We’ll grab them from the garage.” He put the key in the door as Dean drove away, “We want you to get the full experience just like we had.” Before he pushed open the door, he turned to me, “What was it you decided after talking to Cas?”

“I thought you had figured it out?”

“I have a pretty good idea. But let’s just call it a curiosity to see if I was right.”

I smiled, “I decided that if Dean makes a move, I’m going to go for it. I realized that I would never regret being with someone, even if it hurt. I don’t regret dating my ex, and he hurt me pretty bad at the end. But I would regret not giving whatever this is between me and Dean a chance.”

He didn’t seem happy, “Dean is too stubborn, he will never make a move.”

“I think he might surprise you.” I thought back to the kiss we shared in the salvage yard, “He’s come onto me more than once. He’s not scared of sex, just of commitment.” I laid a hand on his arm, “But I’m also not going to push something on him that he doesn’t want. I’m not going to force him to be with me.”

“I guess you’re right.” He opened the door, “And I hope that he will man up and go for it. Having to deal with an angry Dean is not fun.”

We walked down a set of metal stairs. It was dark and felt a bit like a dungeon. There was another door at the bottom that Sam unlocked and opened. He gestured, “After you.”

I walked into the bunker, expecting it to look like the show. It did, but only in the way that it had some of the same items. This bunker was so much more. The first room had the table that lit up and the ancient computer system. But through the next doorway, I saw the library. I didn’t even look at the table as I walked past. 

There were a set of stairs leading down and I was speechless when I got to the bottom. The walls were at least twelve feet high and the bookcases went all the way to the top. Not only did they line the walls, but they were set up perpendicular to the walls as well. Each bookcase was completely jam-packed with books. The room itself was probably 100 feet long and 30 feet wide, with several tables in the middle of the room.

I walked over to one of the bookcases and ran my fingers over the spines of the books. “Holy shit.” I turned to Sam, “Can this be my bedroom?”

He laughed, “I completely understand. That was my reaction too.” Grabbing my hand, he pulled me through the room, “Let me show you the room that gives Dean wet dreams.”

He pulled me down several bland corridors before stopping outside a room labeled weapons storage. He opened the door and let me go first. I gasped as I walked in. The room was only about one fourth the size of the library, but there were display cases everywhere. Every kind of weapon imaginable was there. Samurai swords, broadswords, knives, throwing stars, guns, even some that I had no idea what they were. But I was drawn to the swords. I’ve always had a special fascination with sharp blades. I walked toward the wall that was covered in all sorts of blades.

Just as I was about to touch one, Dean’s voice said, “Careful. They are as sharp as they look.”

I turned to him and saw Sam was gone. “So, this is your favorite room, huh?” I walked up to him, staying a foot away, “I must say, you have good taste.”

A cocky grin covered his face, “If you think this is cool, just wait ‘til you see the garage.” He walked out of the room and looked over his shoulder, “Coming?”

I followed him deeper into the bunker, admiring his ass and muscular back the entire way. When we entered the garage I was flabbergasted. Other than Baby, there were seven other cars, all considered classic and super expensive. Also, there were several motorcycles. But what really caught my eye was the Delorean parked in a dark corner.

“I thought this place was shuttered before that was made?”

“It was,” we walked over to it. “There are other men of letters though, and apparently one of them thought they should bring it here and left it.”

I ran a finger over the silver car, “I like this even better than the Impala.” I opened the door and climbed in, “You have no idea how many years I’ve wanted one of these.” I saw some marks on the inside of the car, “What are these?”

“The men of letters put a lot of sigils into their vehicles, and this building. I don’t know what they all mean, but they keep things from breaking, protect against demons and other evil creatures, and stop them from deteriorating over time.”

“Well, you can tell Sam I’ve changed my mind. I want this to be my bedroom instead of the library. This car is definitely the best thing in the bunker.” I looked at the handsome man crouching next to me, “Well, there might be something better in the bunker.”

He looked a little flustered and quickly stood, walking away from the car. “Come on, I’ll show you to your bedroom. I already put your bag in there.”

I followed him and smiled internally. The fact that I can fluster him without saying exactly what I mean, is that he knows what I wanted to say. I just followed him down the hallway. He walked far enough in front of me that I couldn’t walk next to him without running. Although, he did keep looking over his shoulder at me, making sure I was behind him.

When we got to a hallway full of doors, he slowed down. “Each bedroom is numbered. There are 40 bedrooms in the bunker. Down this hall are rooms 21 through 40. I am in room 38, Sam is in 22. I put you in room 30.”

When we got to the room, I pushed open the door. Inside the room was about twelve feet square, the size of a small bedroom in a house. A full bed sat in the middle of the room, with two nightstands and a dresser that were straight from the futuristic designs of the ‘50s. My bag was sitting on the brown paisley quilt on the bed.

Dean stayed outside the room, leaning in the doorway. “The bathroom is the room across the hall from you. The water pressure is pretty great. I didn’t check to make sure that there wasn’t anything in the drawers, so you might find some stuff.”

Deciding that I was going to push boundaries, I walked over to him and stopped right in front of him. Then leaning forward, I gave him a big hug, holding him tightly. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt him relax. We stood like that for a few minutes, much longer than a normal hug would go on for. Finally, I pulled away from him, “Thanks for being such a good guy.”

Smiling, he reached a hand up and ran his fingers down the side of my face, “Anytime, sweetheart. Anytime.” Then he turned and walked away.

I watched him until he turned a corner and went back into the room. The first thing I did was search the drawers of the dresser and nightstands. Dean’s comment about finding things had me intrigued. There was nothing in the nightstands, but in one of the drawers, there was a small velvet box. I opened it up and saw a ring inside. It was silver, with a blue stone in the center, surrounded by what looked like diamonds. I was really curious as to the story behind it, so I just put it on top of the dresser to research later.

All of my clothes got put into the dresser, but the card that I had found got left out as well. I looked at the card again, just to see if I had missed anything. Other than the ‘enjoy’ written on it, I couldn’t find anything else. So I just put it next to the velvet box to look into later.


	11. Chapter 11

Dean hadn’t felt comfortable with me driving the Delorean, so he got Cas’s Lincoln out from wherever he had it hidden and gave that to me to use. He said that it was because the Delorean was too flashy and would draw the wrong sort of attention. My belief was that he just didn’t want a classic car to maybe get ruined, no matter how much of an eyesore it was. Even so, the Lincoln was good enough for what I needed, keeping the kitchen stocked with food.

The first couple of days, I wandered around the bunker investigating every nook and cranny that wasn’t locked. At night, I used the telescope to observe the stars. During the day, I alternated between exercising in the gym and reading books.

Sam wouldn’t let me near the books I really wanted, though. Even though Dean was so vehemently opposed to asking Crowley for help, I was determined to find a way to summon him. But, when I started reading books about summoning, Sam would take them away, saying they were too ‘dangerous.’

After a while, I gave up on trying those books and just started reading a book on extinct creatures. These were fantastical beings that were large enough there is no way they could remain hidden from the general populace. Dragons were on this list. Not the kind on the show, those were humanoid, but large plane sized creatures with wings two to three times as long as their body. The book also included creatures such as Krakens, the loch ness monster, and griffins.

When I couldn’t stand reading, I would search out Dean. He spent pretty much all his time putzing around with the cars. After I had made my decision to say yes, I tried to make myself available to him. But when I would go into the garage, except for a few lingering glances, he didn’t say much to me.

My days quickly became filled with silence as Dean avoided me and Sam got caught up with research. I eventually started feeling like their housekeeper because I was cooking three meals a day for them.

A week had passed with me living in the bunker with the boys. I was reading in the library with Sam when he got a call, “Hey, Bobby.” He looked at me while listening, “Arizona? Okay. When?” He took down a few notes, “Alright, we’ll leave as soon as possible. I’ll let her know.”

He hung up the phone, “Bobby wants you to know that he hasn’t found anything yet, but he hasn’t given up.”

“What was that about Arizona?” I was genuinely curious where we were headed to.

“There’s a ghost haunting on an Indian reservation. Apparently, a ghost is killing people in a pretty horrific way. Bobby said something about the bodies being drawn and quartered.”

“When do we leave?”

“Umm,” Sam faltered.

A voice came from behind me, “Sorry, sweetheart. No newbies on hunts. Especially violent ones. This one is just going to be Sam and me.”

Sam looked guilty, “It shouldn’t take that long. A week or so round trip.”

I couldn’t contain my disappointment, “Oh, okay. I understand.” I put the book down and stood up, “When will you guys leave?”

Dean dropped his bag on the floor, “As soon as Sammy is packed.” When Sam and I both looked at him, he got defensive, “What? Bobby called me too. Plus, I always have a go bag packed and ready to take at a moments notice.”

Sam left the library, and suddenly I was alone with Dean. If he was leaving me alone in the bunker, I wanted something first. I stalked over to him, grabbed his head and pulled his face to mine for a deep kiss. At first, he just stood there, shocked. But after a couple of seconds, he was returning the kiss, our tongues dancing against one another.

His hands moved to my hips and he pulled me closer so I could feel his burgeoning erection straining against his jeans. He walked me backward until I bumped into the table. He lifted me onto it so he could step between my open legs. This pressed his hardness right against my clit and I moaned into his mouth. We continued going at it hot and heavy for a few minutes until we heard a throat clear.

Dean pulled his face away from me, breathless, as Sam said, “Well, that’s new.”

Dean was still pressed against me, his forehead touching mine. I placed a soft kiss on his lips, “You guys should head out.”

Backing away, Dean grabbed his bag and headed towards the garage. Sam had a huge grin on his face, “So, you two…”

I cut him off, “Not another word, Sam Winchester. Now get going before Dean leaves without you.” He still had a huge grin as he left the room. I just hoped he didn’t pester Dean about it. Pushing him like that was probably a bad idea, especially after what I just did. I had done what I promised I wouldn’t do, force him into something he didn’t want. Now, he could have pushed me away, but it still wasn't right of me. 

After waiting a few minutes, I went and checked the garage. The boys were gone. I darted back up to the library and went to the card catalog to find every book I could on summoning rituals, including the ones that Sam had forbidden me to read. When I had finished gather them, I had an entire table covered in old books. But I didn’t start right away, instead, going to take a cold shower and then pass out.

I started keeping a rather strict routine while the boys were gone. I learned quickly that if I had things to do, I didn’t notice that I was all by myself in the bunker.

7 AM: I would wake up and spend an hour doing yoga.

8 AM: The next two hours would be spent in the gym I had managed to find. I would run a few miles around the track and then spend the rest of the time kicking and punching a bag hanging from the ceiling.

10 AM: This was my research time. The boys didn’t want me to call Gabriel or Crowley, so I was looking for ways to summon them. I would spend several hours in here reading through tome after tome, trying to find information that I knew Sam and Dean would never give me. Most of the time I forgot about lunch, even though I also never ate breakfast.

4 PM: I would go back down to the gym, repeating my workout from earlier. The only difference is that I would stay there longer and add in strength work to my training. Pushups, situps, weight lifting.

7 PM: Dinner time. Usually, this was just a chicken breast and some vegetables. I couldn’t be bothered to make a fancier dinner without someone else to enjoy it.

8 PM: I would go back and research some more. Working tirelessly to try and find out the information I desired.

10 PM: I would spend another hour doing yoga, take a shower and then go to bed. The next day, I would start the whole thing over again.

After three weeks alone, I had read through most of the books. It was early in the afternoon when I found it, the spell to summon Crowley. I gathered up the ingredients from the storage room I had found when I first got to the bunker and headed down to a nondescript room, first stopping by my room to grab the expensive bottle of scotch I had purchased during one of my grocery store runs.

I was trying to keep Crowley from gathering too much information. Although I was pretty sure he had been in the bunker before, so it’s not like he didn’t already know about it. Once I was set up, I poured a glass of scotch and then said the incantation.

In less than a minute, there was a loud noise and Crowley appeared in front of me. I held the glass of scotch and walked over to the king of hell, trying to hand it to him. He looked at me surprised but didn’t say anything. Sighing, I held it out, “It’s not a trick.”

He looked around the room, saw that I hadn’t put down a devils trap and smiled at me, “You know, deary, you shouldn’t summon the king of hell without protection.”

I laughed, “Crowley, or should I call you Fergus…” His eyes narrowed at me, “If I wanted to trap you, I could have. I just wanted to ask you for your help.”

Crowley took a sip of the scotch and smiled, “Craig, my favorite.”

“I know.”

“Now, how would you know that?” He walked over to me and trailed a finger down my face until it reached under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “The only person I’ve shared that with is…”

“Bobby Singer.” I smiled at him, “And as much as I’m enjoying the first contact I’ve had in three weeks, I don’t do demons. Even one as handsome as you.”

His hand dropped and he downed the scotch, eyes lighting up when he saw the bottle. He picked it up and poured himself another glass, “Well then, kitten, how can I help you?”

“Do you know anything about travel between worlds?” His smile dropped and I sighed. I gave him a brief rundown of what happened to me. “I’m stuck here and I don’t know why. I was wondering if maybe you brought me here, or knew who brought me here? Or even better, maybe you would know how to send me back?”

“Sorry love, but I can’t help you.” He downed the second glass and poured yet another, “I can’t even tell you who might have brought you here, but I also haven’t heard anything about it.” He pushed the glass into my hand and held it to my lips until I drank it down, “And someone as brave as you to feed me good scotch and not use a devil’s trap to force me to help you, well I can’t even take your soul to help you. Not that I could help you even if I did take your soul.”

I heard my name being shouted and footsteps coming down the stairs. Crowley just laughed and poured another drink, sipping it as he waited. Dean and Sam came running into the room holding the colt to point it at Crowley. I stepped between them, “You are not going to kill him.”

“Dammit, Emily,” Dean yelled at me. “What were you thinking?”

I walked towards him until the tip of the gun was pointed directly against my chest, “You guys were gone. I’ve spent the past three weeks...THREE WEEKS, trying to keep calm.” I grabbed the gun and pulled it away from him, “I’ve been going stir crazy. And if Crowley could help me, well I would have given him anything to be able to go home and away from where I’m not wanted. You’ve shown me how little you guys want me around.”

“Moose, squirrel, have you been hurting my kitten?” Crowley’s voice was smug. I felt a hand pressing against my back and leaned against it, “You should know I don’t take kindly to that.”

“You didn’t put him in a devil’s trap?” Sam whispered.

“Unlike some people,” Crowley said, “Kitten here has manners.”

“I wanted his help, Sam. You have to understand.” I looked into his eyes, pleading with him to listen, “I’ve been here for a month. In the week I was here before you guys left, I cooked and cleaned for you. Dean ignored me. Sam, you barely said two words to me either. But at least you would look at me. The only time either of you touched me was when Dean kissed me, that ONE time. When you guys were gone, I didn’t know if you guys were alive or dead. It’s been THREE WEEKS Sam. I had to try something.”

“Emily,” Dean said softer this time.

“No, Dean. You don’t get a say in this right now.” I turned away from them and looked at Crowley, “Thanks for your help. Sorry I couldn’t offer you more than scotch.”

“Well, kitten, feel free to call me whenever you want.” He took my hand and gave me a card, “Don’t hesitate if you need anything at all. I won’t even charge you for it. You intrigue me.” Before disappearing, he added, “Make sure you ask Dean who he was playing hide the pickle with during the three weeks he was gone. I know you guys had a thing, so I feel that you should know.” He waved his fingers at Sam and Dean, “Toodles.” With that, he disappeared.

My heart broke when I heard that. I know that I didn’t have any claim on Dean, but after the kiss, I thought that maybe we had something. I turned around and handed the gun back to Dean, “I don’t care who you fuck. You and I aren’t anything. We shared a kiss, that’s it.”

I could tell that he wasn’t buying it, but it was taking everything I had not to break down and cry. “In case you were wondering, he didn’t know anything.” I grabbed the bottle of Craig and started back towards the stairs, “I don’t have the energy to deal with your issues right now.”

I made it back to my room and had the bottle stored for the next time I needed Crowley when I heard a knock on the door. Sighing, I opened it to see Sam standing there. I gestured for him to come in before sitting on my bed. He just stood there, wringing his hands. “What?” I tried my best not to sound irritated, but I was tired of them trying to control me.

“Emily, I’m sorry if we haven’t been exactly hospitable to you.” Sam looked upset and I patted the bed next to me. He sat down and stared at his hands, “Dean is...he doesn’t really know how to express himself. He didn’t want to get hurt like he has so many times before, so he was avoiding you. We talked a lot on this trip, I just don’t know if it helped or not.”

“Yeah, well, he showed how much he cares for me by fucking some chick when you guys were gone.”

“I don’t know what happened if anything. Crowley could just be trying to cause dissension between the three of us,” Sam didn’t look like he believed that any more than I did.

“But as I said, we aren’t anything, so I have no standing to get pissed at him for sleeping with someone else. It’s not cheating if we aren’t together.” I stared at the card that Crowley had given me, “What about you? Why have you been so distant with me?”

“I didn’t mean to be.” He looked so guilty, “I also find you attractive. But I know how much you care for Dean, and I have Sarah, so I was trying to avoid becoming attached.”

“It’s okay, I understand Sam.” I patted his leg, “I just need some time alone right now.”

“Alright,” he got up and left. When he got to the door he turned around, “Just please don’t give up on Dean. I know he has his faults, but he really does care about you.”

I could feel myself start to cry, “I just want to go home. At least I have friends there.”

I didn’t even wait for him to reply. I just turned around and lay face down on the bed, my face burrowed into the pillow. I heard the door shut as the tears streamed down my face. But other than that I was strangely calm. Crowley couldn’t help me, Castiel still wasn’t back asking his fellow angels, and the boys were...well, they were being the boys.

I scrubbed a hand over my face and went into the bathroom. I took off my clothes and turned the water as hot as I could stand. Before I hopped into the shower, I went over and locked the door. Once under the spray of the shower, the tears started again. This time, I couldn’t control it. I fell to the floor, wrapping my arms around my legs and pressing my face to my knees.

I didn’t know how long I had been sitting there when I heard pounding on the door. Someone was yelling my name, but I just stayed under the water. I couldn’t believe that I was stuck somewhere with people who didn’t want me there. Dean may want to fuck me, but he didn’t truly want me there. What am I good for? I’m just a data analyst. I sit at a computer all day, then go home and play video games. I’m not a hunter. I’m not even that good with blood.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard a loud bang and the water was shut off. I just stayed wrapped in my arms, not bothering to see who or what was interrupting my shower. When a cool hand pressed to my back I looked up and saw Sam crouching by me.

“Are you okay?” his voice sounded concerned. “We’ve spent the last ten minutes outside the door trying to get your attention.”

Dean piped in, sounding angry, “Dammit, Emily. Your skin is bright red. Sammy, how hot was the water?”

“I don’t know, Dean.” Sam sounded tired of his shit, “Maybe if you hadn’t been such a dick earlier...”

My head fell back to my knees and I sighed, “Go away.”

Sam’s hand didn’t leave my back, just kept rubbing comforting circles between my shoulder blades. After a couple of minutes of that, I lifted my head again and saw that Dean was gone. I looked over at Sam, “I thought I told you to go away.”

“I’m not leaving you in here alone, Emily.” His smile was tight, “I just want to make sure that you’re alright.”

“I’m not alright,” I sighed. “Can you get me a towel?”

His hand immediately left my back and he stood, coming back a few seconds later with the towel I had brought in with me. After I took it from him, he turned his back so I could wrap it around myself without showing more skin than I already had. “I’m decent now.”

He walked over and pulled me into a gentle hug, “I’m sorry.”

Laughing, I pulled away, “What exactly is it that you’re sorry for, Sam? Are you sorry that you guys basically treated me like a live-in maid for a week? Sorry that you disappeared for three weeks? Sorry that Dean kissed me and then fucked someone else?”

He flinched, “I’m sorry that I didn’t see how bad you were hurting.”

Letting the towel fall from my body, I grabbed my clothes. I saw him look at my body before he forced his eyes to the ceiling. I got dressed and then towel dried my hair a bit before sighing again, “Well, don’t worry. I’m not going to be in your guy's hair for much longer.”

He grasped my arm, “What do you mean?”

Looking down at his hand, I hissed, “Let go of me.”


	12. Chapter 12

His hand fell off my arm and I stormed out of the bathroom. I wasn’t running away from the bunker, not in a world that wasn’t my own. But I was going to do something that was probably incredibly stupid. When I got to the library, I walked past Dean and saw a confused look on his face. But I didn’t stop there. I went up the stairs to the front door of the bunker and pushed it open, walking outside.

Looking at the sky, I yelled, “Gabriel. Get your short ass down here. I need…”

The sound of wings had me stopping what I was going to say. Gabriel stood before me and he looked amused, “I’m not that short. You’re just surrounded by giants. We’re literally the same exact height.”

“Emily,” a voice said from behind me. I looked and saw that it was Sam and Dean.

“Go away.” They just shook their heads so I turned back to Gabriel, suddenly shy, “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to be a bitch.”

He waved his hand in dismissal, “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. What can I do for you? Any friend of Samshine’s is a friend of mine.”

I laughed, “We’re not friends.” His eyebrow raised at that, “They were forced into this. I just want to go home. Can you send me home?”

Gabriel looked contemplative for a moment, “Tell me what happened.”

I spent the next several minutes explaining everything. From what I was doing before I fell asleep, to everything that happened the last month. And when I say everything, I mean everything, even down to the kiss and Sam confessing he was attracted to me. Gabriel’s eyes narrowed when I talked about Sam, but he didn’t interrupt.

“Is this was has Cassie in a tizzy up in heaven? He’s been asking anyone who will talk to him how to travel between universes.” Gabriel’s eyes softened and he placed a hand on my shoulder, “I don’t know if there is anything I can do to help you, not really. But I think I might be able to help you figure out why you are here if you are willing.”

“Anything,” I perked up for the first time in a month.

“It will hurt.”

“Pain is fleeting,” I chimed back. “Besides, I have a high pain tolerance.”

“I need to read your soul,” Gabriel looked pained at having to do it.

“No,” Dean yelled and stormed over to us. “You are not doing that to her.”

I turned to him and pushed him backward, “Fuck off, Dean. You don’t get a say in my life. You aren’t my lover, boyfriend, or even my friend. It’s my life to do with as I please.” My voice softened when I saw the pain in his eyes, “I need to do this, Dean. I need to know why I am here and if it’s possible to get home. I have nothing here.”

“You have us,” he said plaintively.

“Not really, you’ve made that perfectly clear to me, many times.” I shrugged and turned back to Gabriel, “How do we do this?”

“Well, this would be better if we could lay you down on a bed.” His eyes moved over to the boys, “But their little hidey-hole is well warded against my kind.”

“Actually,” Sam interrupted, “We included you on the exceptions when we were putting them up.” His face turned red, “So you can, uh, do what you need to inside.”

Gabriel moved over to Sam and put his hand on Sam’s face. Then he turned back to me, “Come on, let’s get this party started.”

I led Gabriel inside and to my bedroom. Sam and Dean followed us of course. When all four of us were in my small bedroom, I laid down on the bed and waited patiently for Gabriel to start. He just looked at me, “Are you sure?” This was the first time I had ever seen Gabriel looking so serious about something.

“I am as serious as Casa Erotica, Gabriel.” I laughed with him, “Just do it.”

Gabriel did, his hand going into my chest. The pain was indescribable. It was both the least amount of pain and the most amount of pain I had ever felt. My soul felt like it was flying, but it also felt like it was being ripped out of my body. I couldn’t help but scream as tears raced down my face. It seemed like forever before the pain stopped.

Tears were streaming down Gabriel’s face. He didn’t look at the boys, “Sam, Dean, can you give us a minute.”

They mumbled something but left the room, shutting the door on the way out. I took Gabriel’s hand in mine, “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

“I just...I thought he didn’t love us anymore,” Gabriel was still crying so I pulled him down on the bed next to me, cuddling up to him. We laid like that for a few minutes until his tears slowed and eventually stopped. “It was my father.”

“God sent me here?” I couldn’t help the disbelief in my voice.

“Yes,” Gabriel rolled to look at me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Your soul was meant for this world, not the one it ended up in.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means I can’t send you back,” he looked sad. “I’m sorry.”

“So I’m just stuck here with Sam and Dean?” There was no way this way happening to me. They didn’t want me here, hell, I didn’t want to be here.

“I don’t think my father put you here on purpose.” I looked at him questioningly, “That’s not what I mean. I don't think he sent you to this world on purpose, but he sent you to where your soulmate is.”

“Are you telling me that Sam or Dean is my soulmate?”

“Not Sam.” Gabriel smirked a little, “Dean.”

I rolled over onto my back and tossed an arm over my head. Groaning, I said, “Seriously? He doesn’t want me.”

“He doesn’t know you.” Gabriel sat up and forced me to sit up too, “You need to give him a chance. Take it slow. Dean has always been the denser of the two.” His eyes gleamed with mischief, “I can always stay and help you.”

He snapped his fingers and my room was transformed from the drab dorm feel to a paradise. The walls were no longer plain grey concrete, but a soft blue. The room hadn’t changed in size, but the bed was now almost the size of the room, with lots of fluffy pillows and a white down comforter. A huge armoire sat against one of the walls, and on the ledge at the back of the room was a beautiful antique Tiffany glass lamp.

“What are you doing, Gabriel?”

“Just trying to make you feel more comfortable.” He raised his hand as if to snap his fingers again, “But if you want me to change it back…”

I grabbed his hand, “No, thank you. I love it.” His smile at that was huge, “So you want to stay and ‘help out’?”

Gabriel blushed, “Only if you want me to.”

“If you want to get in Sam’s pants, you have my blessing. But only if things don’t work out with Sarah. I really think that he cares about her. Like, maybe even loves her.” He looked a bit sad, “That doesn’t mean you can’t be in his life though. But maybe start with small doses. I’m pretty sure Sam might kill you if you come on too strong.” I smiled to soften my words, “Don’t forget about all those Tuesdays where you killed Dean.”

He sighed, “Fine. I’ll be back though.” With the sound of wings, he disappeared.

A few seconds passed as I enjoyed the softness of my new bed. Smiling, I got off the bed and opened the door to the bedroom. The look on Sam and Dean’s face made me laugh loudly. “Gabriel was being Gabriel,” I said. “But, he told me why he thought I was here. So at least there is that.” They still looked at me incredulously, “Do you guys have Chuck’s number?”

“Chuck Shurley?” Sam asked. I nodded, “Why do you want to talk to him?”

I quickly scrambled for a good excuse to call him, “I just need to ask him something. He is a prophet, after all, maybe he saw what happened.”

Sam passed me his phone, “He’s listed in there.”

“Thanks.” I smiled at Sam before looking at Dean. His eyes looked into mine with an emotion that I couldn’t decipher. I didn’t know what to say to him, so I just shut the door to my room taking Sam’s phone with me. I found Chuck’s number and called it. The ring tone made me nervous, I was about to talk to God.

“Sam, I told you I wasn’t going to publish the stories. But I need to get them out of my head,” a grumpy Chuck said.

“Not Sam,” I replied.

“Oh...oh,” Chuck was speechless.

“Why did you do it? Why did you bring me here?”

“Umm, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the way he said that made it sound like a question.

“You are God, Chuck. I’ve seen the show remember?”

He sighed, “You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?”

“I hadn’t planned on it. Just tell me why you brought me here. Gabriel already checked my soul, which sucked by the way, but I want to hear it in your own words.”

“Well, if Gabriel told you then you know. Dean is your OTP.” When I made a noise between a laugh and a snort, Chuck sighed, “He is your other half. The one you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with. It doesn’t mean that it will happen, just that you have a chance for something good to come out of this.” He paused for a second, “Honestly, Dean is only one of your possible soulmates, both here and in the world you come from. I sent you here because in the future I saw, there was a chance that you are the one that Dean will let himself take a chance on.”

“But why? Why did you bring me here? I was happy in my life, and I bet Dean was happy too.”

“Were you honestly happy?” Chuck’s voice was soft.

I had to think for a minute. While I wasn’t unhappy, I wasn’t happy either. My tone came out defensive, “My life was fine.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Chuck chided me. “But I already know the answer. And if you’ve seen the show, you know that Dean hasn’t been happy in years, with the exception of brief moments in time. But it’s up to both of you if you’re going to take the chance and go for it.”

“Can you send me back?” I asked softly.

“I could, but do you really want to go back to that life?” He paused, “Also, in the possible future I saw, with you in their life, I see Sam and Dean living happy and long lives. It doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t happen without you, just that there is a good chance that it will with you in it.”

I thought for a second, which turned into a minute. Chuck sat on the other end of the phone not saying anything. When I came to the conclusion that would change my life, I gasped, “I want to stay.”

He chuckled, “Good. If you have a change of heart, you know how to reach me. I’m not going to force you to stay if you really don’t want to.”

Chuck hung up and I sat down on the bed, surprised at my answer. I hadn’t intended to say that I wanted to stay. My friends and family were in the other world, but I would be lying if I hadn’t thought about what would happen if I ever met Dean in real life. He always had a special place in my heart. He gave up so much for everyone in his life, never asking for anything in return. That had always endeared himself to me. Even though he had sex with someone else after our kiss, I couldn’t truly be angry at him for it. We aren’t together.

I stood and walked over to the door. When I opened it, both the boys were gone, thankfully. I walked out to the library and saw Sam sitting there staring at a book. I handed him the phone, “Thanks, Sam.”

“So, do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes and no.” I sat down across the table from him, “Apparently, God sent me here. That’s what Gabriel found out. But he doesn’t know how to send me back.”

“I’m sorry…” Sam started to say.

“There is a way to send me back though. After I talked to Chuck, he told me how I could get back if I wanted. But he also told me something else.” I paused, “Apparently, Dean is one of my possible soulmates. He said that there were several possible soulmates for me here as well as in my world. I’m not really sure how I feel about it.”

“I know Dean cares about you, that’s why he tried to stay away from you. He wanted you to be able to go home without being hurt.” His eyes looked pained, “I know that what he did hurt you.”

“It did. I’ve fallen in…” I tried again, “I’ve been falling for Dean since I knew him as a character on the show. But then when I met you guys, it grew into something more. I care about him more than I ever truly thought was possible. I honestly thought that he did too.”

“Emily,” Sam reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “He does. One of the things we talked about was his feelings and how he was growing to care for you.”

“Then what happened? Why did he sleep with someone else?”

“This isn’t an excuse, but he was drunk. And when I say drunk, I mean falling down drunk, which doesn’t happen all that often.” Sam rubbed a hand over his face, “Some girl hit on him and they went into the bathroom. I think that if he had been in full control of his faculties, he wouldn’t have done it.”

I felt a little bit better after finding out how inebriated he was, but I was still worried, “If we end up together, what if he gets that drunk again? I don’t think...no, I know that I couldn’t take that.”

“Promise me that you won’t take this as being your fault?” I nodded. He sounded solemn, “He was hurting and confused. He’s feeling something for you that he never has before and he didn’t know what to do. I think he was subconsciously sabotaging himself by doing this. Like he knew that if he hurt you that you would go home to your family instead of staying for him.”

I dropped my head to my arms resting on the table, “Self-sacrificing idiot.” When I looked up at Sam, I smiled ruefully, “You know, if we had actually had sex and he had done that to me, I don’t know if I could have forgiven him.”

“But I thought…”

“Yeah, no.” I shook my head, “We’ve kissed twice. And other than the time he…” My face burned with embarrassment, “That doesn’t matter. What does matter, is that he hasn’t done anything unredeemable. A kiss does not a relationship make. So while it hurts to think that he would rather be with someone else other than me, I’m not going to punish him for it.”

“Can I tell you one thing?” I nodded. “When I said we talked about you, I mean we talked a lot about you, and him. He doesn’t want anyone else, and I think that’s the problem. He doesn’t know what to do with you or his feelings.”

“What do you think I should do about the soulmate thing?”

“What do you want to do?”

I took a deep breath, “I made the choice to stay. I will always have an out if I really want it. The way Chuck knows of, it’s not going anywhere.” Suddenly, I stood, “I’m going to go and talk to Dean.”

I left the room and hurried to the garage. When I got there, Dean wasn’t at his usual place under the hood of Baby. I checked his room and weapons storage, but he wasn’t there either. The last place I could think he would be is in the gym.

My pace slowed as I got to the door to the gym. I pushed them open and walked inside. Music was blasting from a stereo and Dean was wailing away at the punching bag. He was still wearing jeans and boots, but his shirt was off. I stood there for a couple of minutes admiring the view before I walked over to him. Just before I was about to touch his shoulder, he turned and grabbed my arm painfully.

When he saw it was me, he released my arm and bent to turn off the music. When he straightened again, I smiled at him, “Hey, Dean.”

He didn’t look happy to see me, “So, did you get what you needed from Chuck?”

“I’ve found a way home,” I said softly.

He looked sad for a second and then hid it, “Well then, why are you still here?”

“I’m trying to find a reason to stay.” I raised my hand to his face but he backed away.

“What is it you want me to say, Emily?” I didn’t answer him, “I’m not going to be the reason you lose your family. I don’t need that guilt.”

“Dean,” he turned away from me and went back to hitting the bag. “Please.” He kept ignoring me. “Goddamnit, if you’re going to reject me at least be a man and face me when you do it.”

Dean grabbed the bag and steadied it, still not turning around. I walked behind him and placed a hand on his sweaty back, “Please, Dean. Just give me a chance.”

He turned around and I could see tears rolling down his cheeks. I reached my hand up and with my thumb brushed them off his cheek. He pulled me against him, his face pressing against my hair. We stood like that for a few minutes, wrapped in each other's arms. When he pulled away, his eyes were red but he was calmer, “You need to go back to your family. I know how much it would kill me to lose Sammy. I can’t be the reason that you lose them.”

“Fine, I get when I’m not wanted. I’ll leave.” I stepped away from him and smiled, even though tears streamed down my face. “Just remember, Dean, you deserve to be happy too.”

I left the room as quickly as I could. The tears made it difficult to see where I was going, but I still managed to make it to the library. Sam stood as I walked in and I fell into his arms, sobbing. He just murmured softly to me while rubbing my back, waiting for me to finish crying. When my sobs subsided, he asked simply, “I’m guessing Dean is still being a self-sacrificing bastard.”

A laugh choked out of me, “You hit that nail on the head. He basically told me to leave, that he won’t be the reason I lose my family.”

“God, sometimes I want to punch my big brother.” He released me and took a seat at the table again, “I’m pretty sure it will devastate him if you leave. He’s only doing this because he thinks it is what is right. Why is he so pig-headed? He doesn’t want to admit that you mean something to him. He sure as hell isn’t going to ask you to stay because he thinks that he would be forcing you to choose between your family and him.”

I thought for a second before speaking. “I’ve been thinking of little else since I got here.” I sat down next to Sam and took a deep breath, “When I talked to Chuck, that was when I realized that while I was content with my life, I wasn’t really happy. I honestly don’t know when the last time was that I felt happy. I have a chance to start a new life, one with someone who could potentially be the love of my life. As much as I love my family, this is something I am doing for myself.”

“Dean is going to expect that you will have left.”

“Let him. Maybe if he thinks I’m gone, he will change his mind.”

Sam didn’t look convinced, “Are you sure?”

“No, no I’m not. But I don’t know what else to do. Do you have a different idea? Please, if you have an idea that doesn’t involve me lying to Dean, I’m all for it,” I asked, fairly certain that he would not have a better idea than mine.

“Unfortunately, I do not.”

“Look, I will go pack my stuff in my room and move into the set of rooms that are on the other side of the bunker. Tell him whatever you want.”

I left the library and went to my room. When I saw the big fluffy bed and the new furniture, I mourned the loss for a minute before I steeled my mind to the task at hand. I put the duffel bag on the bed and started packing all of my clothes. I didn’t bother closing the dresser drawers, I wanted Dean to know I had left. I grabbed the card and velvet box and stuffed those in the bag as well.

My heart hurt for what I was about to put Dean through, but I couldn’t just stay near him and pretend everything was fine. To add to that, I couldn’t go home either, not without at least a valid attempt at an effort to make things work with Dean.

I ran into him as I was leaving my room. He looked so sad, I just wanted to hug him, but instead, I stood there awkwardly, “Hi.”

“So this is it?” he gave me the saddest smile.

“I guess so. Are you going to be okay?”

He plastered a larger fake smile on his face, “Of course. Things will be great here.”

I could tell he was being disingenuous, but I didn’t call him out on it. “Alright, well, it was nice knowing you.”

“You’re not even going to stay the night?”

“What’s the point?” I felt the tears well up in my eyes again, “You’ve already made your decision. Now I’m making mine.”

I walked past him and down the hall before I turned back, “I am glad I got to know you though. I promise I don’t regret one moment of our time together.” I hurried along, wanting to get to the other side of the bunker before Dean realized that I wasn’t actually going anywhere.

I took room thirteen, it’s always been my lucky number. The rooms on this side must not have been as nice, or as used, because there was only a twin size bed, a nightstand, and a desk with a metal chair. I threw the bag on the table and sat down on the bed. I sighed as I realized that I was going to have to hide in this room for a while.

The card Crowley gave me was still in my pocket. I wanted someone that I could talk to about this, but I didn’t think that the king of hell was the right person. Sitting on the bed, I realized there was one person I could call. “Cas, this is Emily. Wondering if you had a minute to chat with me? I know you’re busy up in heaven being in charge and all.”

The sound of wings interrupted my prayer and Cas stood before me. I patted the bed next to me, waiting until he was seated, “How did you put up with Dean being so obstinate all the time?”

“I think I will need a little more to go on?” Cas smiled, “Dean was, and is, obstinate a great portion of the time.”

“Has Gabriel told you what he found?”

“Yes.” An irritated look flashed across his face, “I do not condone the practice of soul-searching, but it is necessary some of the time. He said that God sent you here because Dean is your soulmate.”

“Yeah, and I called Chuck…”

“Why would you call Chuck?”

Oh great, yet another person who didn’t know that Chuck was God. I tried to control my facial expressions, “He’s a prophet. I just wanted to see if maybe he had an idea of how I got here and how I could get home.” Cas nodded, “Anyways, Chuck said I was just one of Dean’s possible soulmates and that he was one of mine. But that in the future he saw, both of the boys had a higher chance of happiness if I stayed. And he said that he knew of a way to send me home.”

Cas looked confused for a second, “How does Chuck know of a way when I cannot find one?”

“I don’t know, Cas,” I hated lying to him, but I had promised Chuck. “It doesn’t matter anyway, because I decided to stay with Dean. I told Sam about it, asked for his opinion. Then I went and found Dean. I told him that I was looking for a reason to stay.”

“Why did you not just simply tell him the truth? That you had already decided to stay.”

I sighed, “Because while I decided to stay, I’m not going to stay if he doesn’t truly want me. I just wanted to see where his head was at.”

“Dean does not do subtext very well.” 

I laughed and Cas looked extremely confused again, “Sorry, it’s a joke I heard from the Supernatural fandom. In my world, you and Dean never got together, but there were soulful looks and a lot of queer-baiting done by the writers. But you guys are called Destiel by the fandom, a mash of your two names. I believe it was during a convention when someone yelled out that you can’t spell subtext without buttsex. It was said about your guy's relationship, the subtext in the show.”

“Ah, I see.” Cas smiled, “That is very humorous.”

“But yeah, I know he doesn’t do subtext well. I thought I was very straight forward. I told him I wanted a reason to stay. He told me that he couldn’t be the reason I lost my family. That he couldn’t bear to lose Sam, and that he wouldn’t do that to anyone else.”

“I understand his reasoning.” Cas placed his hand on top of mine, “But while I understand it, that does not mean I necessarily agree with it. Dean will not allow himself to be the reason anyone loses something, even if it means that he himself will lose out.”

“I’ve got that much,” I stood and started pacing. “What I don’t know is how to get him to see reason. How do I make him see that I’m not losing anything here? That I’m actually gaining something that could be fantastic.”

“Give him time, Emily. Give him a chance to reconcile his feelings with his guilt.”

“I’ve already told him I was leaving.”

“I am sorry to hear that, but I can understand why you do not want to stay.”

I laughed lightly, “I’m not actually leaving. This room,” I gestured around me. “Is not the one Dean gave me. I’m on the other side of the bunker. I’m staying to give this a shot, I just...I don’t know. I thought that maybe if he thought I was gone…”

“He would realize what he had lost.” Cas shook his head, “I am not sure that is such a good idea. I do not know what Dean will do knowing you are gone.”

“What would you suggest then?” I stopped pacing, staring Cas down, “He won’t give me a chance because of his self-sacrificing nature. I’m falling for a pig-headed man who can’t let himself have happiness. I don’t know what else to do.”

Cas stood and walked over to me, placing a gentle hand on my arm, “There is not much advice I can give you. I may not agree with your decision, but I cannot see another way to go about it. Maybe you are correct, and this will give Dean the needed push to let himself be happy.”

I wrapped my arms around him, “Thanks, Cas.” I pulled away, “I see what Dean saw in you.”

With a smile and the sound of wings, he disappeared.

I laid down on the bed and was relaxing when I heard a voice in the hallway softly calling my name. Standing, I poked my head out the door and saw Sam. I waved him over.

He came into the room and grimaced when he saw the conditions I would be staying in, “Hey, I’m sorry you got stuck here.”

“And by here, you mean...?”

“This room.” He plopped down onto the bed, “When we first got here, this side was just so depressing to look at. All the rooms are this way, tiny with a tiny bed. Now, full size isn’t much better, but at least it gives us some room to move on.”

“This was my choice, Sam. I didn’t have to pretend to leave.”

“Yes, you did.” He stood and looked down into my eyes, “Dean will never admit what he feels until he thinks he is losing someone. It happened with Cas. The only reason they got together was that he almost lost Cas. That was what spurred him to admit that he was attracted to him. Maybe if he thinks he has lost you, it will make him realize that he can’t live without you.”

“Jesus, we haven’t even gotten past the point of kissing. Let’s not talk marriage and happily ever after just yet.”

Sam laughed loudly and pulled me into a hug. “Alright, alright. I get what you’re saying. I’ll bring you food, and the bathroom on this side isn’t as nice, but it will do. Do you want me to bring you some reading material to keep you busy?”

“Please.” I was grateful that Sam was such a good guy. 


	13. Chapter 13

I stayed in that room for two days, reading the books that Sam brought me and doing exercises to keep myself sane. It was the night of the second day when there was a knock on the door.

I opened it, “Come on in, Sam.”

He looked worried, “We’ve found a case.”

“And why do I get the feeling that you are more worried about this than you’re letting on.”

“Dean is...he is not doing well. But Bobby called us about a nest of vampires so we’re leaving in the morning. I’m just worried that he will do something stupid on the trip.” He sighed and sat down on the bed, “I’ve never seen him like this.”

I sat down next to him, “Do you think I should tell him I’m still here.”

“No,” his voice was serious. “I think maybe going out and hunting will help. But if we tell him now that he was lied to, he won’t be happy about it.”

“Okay,” I sighed. “When do you guys leave?”

“In the morning.”

“You had better keep in contact this time, Sam Winchester. Otherwise, I’ll have to find you and kick your ass.”

“I’ve already got your number programmed into my phone. I’ll text you at least once a day,” Sam wrapped his arm around me. “And don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on Dean while we’re gone. I won’t let him get himself killed.”

“Thanks.” Sam left the room and I laid down on the bed, trying to not worry about both of my boys. Instead of setting my alarm for the morning like I usually did, I left it off so I would sleep past the point of them leaving.

 

The next day I woke up to a text on my phone.

**_SAM: We’re out of here. Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do ;)_ **

**ME: :P What exactly does that eliminate then?**

**_SAM: Dean is looking at me funny, wondering why I’m laughing at my phone._ **

**ME: I’ll leave you alone then. Wouldn’t want Dean to get suspicious.**

**_SAM: I’ll check in again tonight. And before you get too worried, we’re meeting Benny to help kill the vamps. It won’t just be me and Dean._ **

**ME: Thanks, Sam. That helps. Now get back to the mission, I look forward to hearing from you.**

I grabbed my stuff and moved back into my original room. During my time alone, I had done a lot of thinking. While I thought it was a good idea at the time to lie to Dean about leaving, I couldn’t do it for much longer. When he got back my plan was to tell him everything, and then give him the option of taking a chance with me or me leaving. But I couldn’t take lying to him.

I went to the kitchen to eat lunch and then called Castiel. He came quickly, as always. “Hey, Cas.”

“Emily, I am assuming the boys are gone.”

“Yes,” I smiled. “They are on another hunt. A nest of vampires, not sure where.”

“Ahh. Now, what can I do for you?”

“Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that what I’m doing to Dean isn’t fair. I’m planning on telling him the truth when he gets back. Telling him that I want to be with him. That it’s my choice, not his. I don’t plan on telling him about the soulmate thing, that will just scare him. But I am going to do my best to convince him to give us a chance.” I sighed, “Now, that’s where you come in.”

Cas raised an eyebrow, “Elaborate, please.”

“I want to prove to Dean that I can take care of myself. That he doesn’t have to worry about me. In order to do that, I need to learn to fight.”

“I am not much of a fighter.”

“I know, Cas. I was hoping that you would know of an angel that could teach me.”

Cas had a contemplative look on his face before smiling. He nodded at me and disappeared. A few moments later, he reappeared with a taller angel by his side. “Emily, this is Gadreel. He…”

“Helped defeat Metatron.” I walked over and offered my hand, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“And you as well,” Gadreel shook my hand. “I am here to offer my services as an instructor. It is something that I have been working on since my release from heaven’s jail. Prior to my incarceration, that was my main duty.”

“What kind of fighting are we talking about?”

“I know hand to hand combat, as well as training with an angel blade.” He shrugged, “As for guns, we angels have no need for them. But I can at least build up your strength and teach you some self-defense.”

Going over to Cas, I gave him a hug. “Thanks, I’m sure you have better things to do than babysit me. I’ll just show Gadreel to the training room and we’ll get started.” Cas looked uncomfortable, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I feel uneasy with this lie we are perpetrating on Dean. He deserves to know the truth, Emily.”

I sighed, “I know, Cas. And I plan on telling him once he gets back. But I need him to realize that he doesn’t have to worry about me. Maybe if he sees that I can fight, he will be more receptive to me staying.”

“If you say so.” He still looked uncomfortable, but he just gave me a small smile and disappeared.

“Alright, let’s head to the gym.”

We spent the next couple days with Gadreel showing up in the morning to teach me. The moves that he taught were more akin to karate than anything else. But I was getting the hang of it, albeit slowly. It probably helped me that a little more than a decade ago I was well on my way to getting a black belt.

It was actually Christmas evening and we were practicing again when my phone rang. I stopped what we were doing and ran over to it. “Hello?”

“Emily, it's Sam,” he sounded stressed.

I knew instantly that something bad must have happened. We never talked on the phone, except for the occasional text message just to let me know that they were alright. “What's wrong?”

“It's Dean,” I could hear him choke back a sob.

I felt my heart drop into my stomach, “Oh god, he's not…”

He cut in quickly, “No, he's not dead. But he's in a really bad place right now.”

Gadreel came over and gave me a questioning look. I just shrugged, “What do you mean?”

“Well, it's Christmas, and he got drunk. More drunk than I’ve see him in a long time.” I sighed as Sam continued, “He's so angry, Emily. I'm afraid of what he's going to do.”

“Where are you guys?”

“At the hotel.”

I heard a loud crash, “No, where exactly are you?” He gave me the hotel address and room number. “I'll be right there.” Before he could ask questions, I hung up and looked at Gadreel, “Can you take me?”

He gave me a look and just nodded. Placing a hand on my back, he teleported me to just outside the hotel, “Do you wish me to stay?”

“No, it's alright. Thanks, Gadreel.”

I saw Sam over in front of a door and ran to him. He had a confused look on his face, “Cas?”

“No, I'll explain later. Where is he?”

Sam gestured to the door, “He's in there, but I don't think you want to go in.” A loud crash could be heard, “It might not be safe.”

“He won't hurt me.” I opened the door as Dean picked up a chair and smashed it into the wall. Shutting the door behind me, I said softly, “Dean.”

He turned to me and his expression morphed from confused, to happy, then sad, stopping on angry. He stalked over to me and grabbed my forearms tight enough that I knew there would be bruises. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Dean, it's me.”

His voice came out sad and broken, “No, Emily left me.”

My heart broke for him. I hadn't meant for this to happen, “Dean, it is me, I promise.” I tried to move my arms, but his grip just tightened more. “Dean, you're hurting me.”

He released my arms, dropping them like he didn't know what he was doing, “You're not real.” Tears were streaming down his face, “Stop tormenting me.”

I grabbed his face in my hands and pressed my body against his. Leaning forward, I placed a gentle kiss on his lips, “Does this feel real?” When his hands went around my waist to pull me even closer, I kissed him again, deeper this time.

After a minute of that, he broke off the kiss and pulled back. He was visibly aroused, eyes dilated and an erection tenting his pants. I could see him getting confused and angry again, so I pulled off my shirt and took off my bra. His eyes roamed up and down my body, expression turning lustful again.

Quickly, I kicked off my shoes and pulled my pants and underwear off in one go. I moved up to him again and grabbed his hand, placing his fingers against my wet pussy. “This is for you, Dean. Just for you. It's me, I swear.”

He growled and threw me onto the bed. I just spread my legs as he took off his clothes. I didn't even get a moment to enjoy looking at him when he moved on top of me, capturing my mouth with his. I could feel the head of his cock pressed against my opening, and I lifted my hips, trying to get more contact.

With one violent thrust, he was fully inside of me. I cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Pushing himself up, he began to thrust in and out of me, hard and fast. It wasn't going to last long, but I didn't care.

I reached one hand between my legs to play with my clit while he continued to pound against me. Within moments I was close to coming. I lifted up my hips so he could fill me deeper and a few seconds later I was coming loudly, my pussy pulsing on his cock. One more thrust and he came deep inside me before collapsing on top of me.

Tears were falling down his cheeks again, and I just rubbed his back, murmuring sweet nothings to him. He pulled out of me and moved to the side so he could gather me in his arms, “Please don’t leave me.”

“Never, Dean. I promise.” He tucked his head against my shoulder and within seconds was asleep.

Probably ten minutes passed when the door opened to the hotel room. Sam came in and saw that we were both naked. Averting his eyes, his face flushed, “Sorry, I didn’t hear any more noise and was starting to get worried.”

“Could you maybe cover us with a blanket?”

He nodded and picked up the discarded blanket from the floor before draping it over us. Once we were more covered, he sat down on the other bed, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Sam. It’s not like I have something that you haven’t seen before.”

He laughed lightly, “Yeah, I should apologize for that too. But no, I’m apologizing because I shouldn’t have let you go in by yourself. He was too unpredictable. He could have hurt you.”

“But he didn’t.”

“But he could have.”

Sam looked so distraught, “Sam, it was my choice. And yes, he could have hurt me. But the important thing is that he didn’t. Even angry and drunk Dean, who didn’t believe it was really me, couldn’t resist a naked female.”

Sam’s face turned red, “Yeah. Well, not that I know you are okay, I’m gonna get another room. Give you two some space.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I do.” He got off the bed and grabbed his bag. Before he left the room, he looked back at me, “Thanks for coming, Emily. I don’t know what I would have done if…” His voice cut off as he held back tears.

“Sam, I will always come for Dean. You don’t have to worry about that ever again.” I gave him a soft smile, “I plan on telling him everything when he wakes up. Well, everything except the soulmate bit. That would probably just scare him.”

Nodding, he smiled, finally looking calmer, “Goodnight, Emily.”

“Goodnight, Sam.” After he left, I allowed myself to relax and fell asleep.

I woke to the feeling of fingers running down my face. “I thought you were a dream.” He looked sad and lost, “But if this is a Djinn hallucination, I don’t want to wake up.”

I lifted my arm and held his hand against my face, pressing a kiss to his palm, “I’m really here, I swear to you.”

His eyes darkened as he saw the bruise on my arm, “Did I do that?”

“Dean, it’s okay, you…”

“Did. I. Do. That?” he practically spat each word.

“Yes, but I’m not mad.” He pulled away and I rolled over until I was on top of him, straddling his hips. “Dean, I’m fine.” I kissed him gently, “I promise.”

He was hardening underneath me but didn't make a move to increase our intimacy. “I thought you’d left.”

The pain in his voice was heartbreaking. I climbed off his hips and laid next to him, hugging him tightly, “I’m so sorry. It was a stupid idea.” I took a deep breath trying to steady my nerves, “I had made the decision to stay when I went to you. But I really didn’t want to stay where I wasn’t wanted. When you told me to leave, I was hurt, but I understood where you were coming from. I hoped that if you thought I’d left, you would realize that you shouldn’t have sent me away.”

He looked angry, “So, sending me into a dark spiral was a better idea.”

“God, Dean. You have no idea how sorry I am. It was a mistake to trick you, and if I could go back in time I would.” I couldn’t look at his face, not wanting to know if I had screwed everything up, “It’s just that I’m falling for you and have been since I got here.”

“What about your family?” his voice was calm.

“I will always love my family, but family doesn’t end with blood. The show taught me that. You and Sam have become like family to me. I already had them for 34 years, I’ve only been with you guys a little over a month. I want more time.”

He lifted my chin so I would look into his eyes, “Are you sure?”

I pushed myself up so I was staring down at him, “Dean, I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life.” I leaned down and kissed him, “I want to stay with you. You make me feel more than I ever have before. I just hope that you can feel some of what I feel for you.”

“Emily,” he brushed my hair off my face, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, either. Not Lisa, not Cas, not anyone. It will probably take me a while to get used to being in a relationship, but I would like to try and make this work with you.”

“You don’t know how impossibly happy that makes me.” I kissed him again and was about to straddle him when there was a knock on the door.

“Hey, everyone decent?” Sam’s voice sounded strained.

Dean just sat up and pulled the blanket over himself to hide his burgeoning erection. I scrambled to get my clothes back on, “Just one second.” Once I was fully dressed, I walked over to the door and let him in, “Hey, Sam.”

We went into the room and I shut the door. Sam looked so sad and guilty. I tried to reassure him, “It’s okay, I told him that I’m staying.”

“Wait,” Dean sounded angry. “Sammy, you knew that Emily was going to pretend to leave me.”

“God, Dean, you have no idea how sorry I…” Sam tried to say

His eyes got dark and Dean stood, not even bothering to hide his nudity anymore. He pulled on his pants and shirt, “You’re my brother. You’re supposed to have my back, Sammy. Why the fuck wouldn’t you just tell me the truth? You know what hell I was going through.”

“I just didn’t…”

“No, fuck you, Sammy.”

I was sick of Dean’s shit. I walked over to him and poked him in the chest with my finger, “You don’t get to pull that with me, Dean Winchester. Your brother loves you. Fucking hell, I love… Just because you are a self-sacrificing asshole, doesn’t mean everyone is. I made the decision to lie to you. Me. Not him, me. You want to be angry at someone, be angry at me.” I poked him again, “I’m 34 years old. I make my own fucking decisions. Your brother was just trying to protect you.”

Dean still looked angry, but at least he wasn’t nearly as angry as last night. He sighed and ran fingers through his hair, “Look, we still have work to do with the vamps. I don’t want to have to worry about you getting killed, so you need to go home and be safe.” His eyes looked sad, “Can you do that for me?”

My lips pressed against his chastely, “Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the end of my previously written stuff. I have a couple of chapters written scattered throughout the rest of the story, but I'm missing big chunks. So it might take a little bit to get more written.


	14. Chapter 14

Gadreel came and picked me up, taking me back to the bunker. We spent the next several days continuing to work on my fighting skills. I wasn’t perfect, but I got better every day, especially considering how many hours we spent working on them.

On New Year’s Eve, I was sitting in a chair in the room that Dean and Sam called their man cave, rereading the book on extinct creatures. There were some notes in the margins of the section on the Kraken that pointed to one of the great lakes in Minnesota. I could tell if that meant there was a Kraken, or it if was about something else. But it was enough to get me intrigued. When Gadreel and I weren’t sparring, I was researching everything I could on Krakens. There weren’t that many books in the library that had to do with them, but I read and reread them until I practically had them memorized.

This is what I was doing when the sound of wings had me looking up. Gabriel stood in front of me, an excited look on his face. I couldn’t help but grin, “Hey, Gabe. What’s up?”

He came over to the chair and plopped onto my lap. He was the same height as me, millennia older, but somehow I felt like an older sister to him. “Paris, France,” his eyes lit up. “Imagine,  la ville lumière , the city of lights. The most romantic city in the world. People flock there by the thousands.”

“Yes, I know what Paris is, Gabe,” he stuck his tongue out and I pushed him off my lap onto the floor. Laughing, I stood and stretched, “Why are you talking about Paris?”

“Well,” his eyes twinkled mischievously, “I know you’ve been down in the dumps a little bit since lover boy and Samsquatch are still on their vampire killing spree. I was thinking that you and I could go to Paris and see the sights. Maybe watching the fireworks behind the Eiffel tower.”

When he waggled his eyebrows at me as he stood, I laughed again, “Really?” His face turned serious and I realized he wasn’t joking, “You want to go to Paris?”

He shrugged, “No. But I want to take you to Paris.” He tried turning on the charm, giving me the most pathetic puppy dog eyes that I had ever seen, “Pretty please will you let me take you to Paris.”

“Fine,” I rolled my eyes. “Just let me tell the guys where I’m going so they don’t freak out if they show back up here.”

**ME: Gabe wants to take me to Paris.**

**_DEAN: Wait, what?”_ **

**_SAM: Seriously? He never wants to take us anywhere._ **

When I laughed, Gabe came over and looked at the group chat I had going with the boys. “Ooh, tell them it’s because you’re prettier. Boys are smelly.”

**ME: Gabe wants you to know that it’s because I’m prettier. You guys are too smelly for Paris.**

**_SAM: I’m not sure if I should be offended or not._ **

**_DEAN: I’m not offended, I know you’re prettier than me ;)_ **

**ME: This is just me letting you guys know what’s going on. I still remember Colorado. My ass twinges every once in a while when I remember.**

**_SAM: Oh God, I didn’t need to have the visual, Emily. Now I need to bleach my brain._ **

**_DEAN: Sam’s just being a baby. He already knew about your spanking sweetheart. We talked about a lot of things when I thought you were gone._ **

**ME: Oh God, kill me now.**

My face was bright red as I stared at the phone. I couldn’t believe that Dean had actually told Sam about that. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but the show never really had them talking that much about intimate stuff. Gabe was still standing there, looking over my shoulder so he saw everything that we were texting.

“Kinky,” he winked at me.

“Gabe, you are too old to be saying ‘kinky’ to a spanking. Spanking really isn’t that kinky.” I hid my face in my hands, “But I really didn’t need you or Sam to know about that.”

“Well, I know that. But you are just a mere mortal.” He laughed, “I’ve been around mortals who thought that girl on top was kinky. How am I supposed to know what you think is kinky?”

**_DEAN: Sorry sweetheart, don’t be too mad at me :(_ **

**_SAM: If it makes you feel any better, it’s not like I haven’t seen you naked._ **

**_DEAN: What?!?!_ **

**_DEAN: What the fuck is he doing look at you naked?_ **

**ME: Dean Winchester, you better not beat your brother for seeing me naked. It was on Christmas when you were wasted. Don’t be a dick. You have one, you don’t get to be one.**

**_SAM: Sorry, not sorry._ **

**_DEAN: Go have fun with Gabe. Sam and I will just be here, killing bloodsucking vamps while you galavant off around the world._ **

**_SAM: Since when do you know big words like galavant?_ **

**ME: Sam, Dean reads Vonnegut. He’s smarter than you probably know.**

**_DEAN: How did you know that?_ **

**_DEAN: Wait, stupid question._ **

**_SAM: Seriously, go have fun with Gabe. Just be safe. If he hurts you, tell him that I will hunt him down and pluck out his feathers one by one._ **

**ME: Well considering he’s reading these texts, and the way his face just went white, I’m pretty sure he got the message.**

**ME: Stay safe boys.**

I turned to Gabe, “Do I need to change?” I looked down at the leggings, t-shirt, and flip flops I was wearing. 

“Nope,” he grabbed my hand and with a poof we were on the other side of the globe, standing in an expensive looking dress shop. The sales lady didn’t seem surprised when we just showed up in front of her. 

She looked me up and down, sneering at me, “C’est ce que vous apportez [this is what you bring me], Gabriel?” 

“Sois gentil [be nice],” he shook his finger at her. “ Tu sais comment je suis quand je suis en colère [you know how I am when I get angry].”

She sighed and started looking me up and down, trying her best to not be high and mighty about it, “ Il faudra des heures pour préparer quelque chose d'assez bon [it will take hours to prepare something good enough].” The woman closed her eyes, rubbing the bridge of her nose, “Elle a l'air d'avoir la même taille qu'un de mes autres clients. Je peux voir si une de ses robes ira [she looks to be the same size as one of my other clients. I can see if one of her dresses will fit].”

When she left to go to the back room, I turned to Gabriel and made a face, “What’s going on?”

“We’ve got a party to go to, and Mademoiselle Duprey is the best seamstress in all of Paris.”

She came back with a couple of dresses held over her arm, “Sucre bleu [good heavens], Gabriel. Pour le dieu du mal, vous n'êtes pas un bon menteur [for the god of mischief, you are not a good liar].”

“Faux, mon amour. Je suis un excellent menteur. Et vous êtes la meilleure couturière de tout Paris, peu importe les efforts que vous déployez pour le cacher. Vous avez été pendant cinquante ans. [Wrong, my love. I am an excellent liar. And you are the best seamstress in all of Paris, no matter how hard you try to hide it. You have been for fifty years.]”

The older woman blushed and looked at Gabriel with such love in her eyes that I knew they had something once upon a time, “Please, follow me.”

We went into a dressing room and she shoved Gabriel out when he tried to follow us in. She glared at him until he looked at her bashfully and back out. As I stood there, she held up each of the two dresses in front of me, switching back and forth a few times. She held up a grey dress, “This one is...Gabriel, comment dites-vous parfait [how do you say perfect]?”

“Perfect.”

“Oui, perfect.” She stood there and gestured for me to take off my clothes.

I gave her a weird look, but nonetheless, I took off my clothes. As I had been lounging around the house, I was braless, but at least I had on underwear. The dress fit perfectly. It was sleeveless with a plunging neckline and back, with a skirt that was made up of layers of see-through material that flowed every time I moved. The top was embroidered with lots of tiny little flowers and beads, that had very obviously been hand done. A slit in the side all the way to my hip showed when I walked.

Mademoiselle Duprey picked up my clothes and shoes, shoving me out the door of the changing room. When Gabriel saw me, his mouth fell open. “Vous êtes un ange [you are an angel], Dominque. Magnifique [magnificent].”

“It’s not too much,” I plucked at the skirt.

Gabriel came up to me and took my hands in his, “Emily, you are more beautiful than any woman I have seen in many years. If Dean were here…” He let go of me and turned back to Dominique, “Merci beaucoup [thank you].”

“Je vous en prie [you’re welcome].” She walked over and put my clothes into a bag, before moving over to another area of the store. She came back with a pair of strappy silver heels that matched the dress exactly, “Elle le porte bien [she wears it well].”

He went over to her, kissed each cheek and murmured something soft to her in French that had her blushing before grabbing my hand and poofing us somewhere else. We ended up in a salon that was already closed for the night, but a tired looking man was standing there waiting for us.

When the man saw me, his eyes widened and he looked at Gabriel, “Is she yours?” With his British accent, I realized that he was a transplant to Paris.

“Just for tonight, Erik,” Gabriel winked at me. “Balthazar is throwing a little party tonight. Emily here was going to sit home all alone, with no one to kiss at midnight.”

Erik laughed and his blue eyes sparkled. He came over to me and grabbed my hand, “Enchanté, mademoiselle Emily. It is a pleasure to meet you.” He pulled me over to a chair and sat me down, petting my long brown hair, “I’m thinking loose curls, held back by some sparkly pins.”

“Whatever you want, you’re the expert,” I said, overwhelmed.

As he did my hair, I just sat there and watched in amazement as he took my normally lackluster hair and transformed it into something that a goddess would have. After he finished, he kissed both my cheeks and spoke to Gabriel in hushed tones while I just stared at myself in the mirror. Before Gabriel poofed us out, I had him take a picture of me. I stuck my leg out at an angle so you could see it in the photo.

I sent the picture to Dean.

**ME: Wish you were here.**

**_DEAN: Fuck! I wish I was there too._ **

**_DEAN: Do you get to keep the dress?_ **

**ME: Don’t know.**

Gabriel looked at what I was texting, “Of course you do. Dominque wouldn’t take it back if you tried to return it. She would take it as a grievous insult.”

**ME: Gabe says yes.**

**_DEAN: You’re gonna wear that for me when I get home._ **

**ME: Yes, sir.**

**_SAM: What did you say to Dean? He just walked away from me and Benny, and we’re about to go into a vamp nest._ **

**ME: Sorry, Sam.**

**_DEAN: You can’t do that to me, sweetheart. Fuck. It’s a good thing you’re in Paris, or I would be driving home right now to punish you._ **

**ME: You can do it when you get home ;)**

“Alright, Gabe. I’m ready to go when you are.”

It was well after eleven at night when we arrived at Balthazar’s party. Much like on the show, he was surrounded by half-naked men and women. Basically, there was an orgy going on and he was sitting in the middle of it. When Balthazar saw us, he stood and stalked over, wearing only a silk robe loosely belted.

I couldn’t help the smile that came to my face. He looked at me, “Gabriel said he was bringing something beautiful, but he didn’t say you would be this gorgeous.”

I blushed and stuck out my hand for him to shake, “Emily.”

He took my hand and kissed it, “It is a veritable pleasure, my dear. You must be the lamb that has been waylaid. Cassie has spoken about you often up in heaven.”

“Yes,” I gave him a shy smile. “Can I ask you something? Did you really unsink the Titanic just because you hated the song.”

He visibly shuddered, “Yes.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “So, if I was to start singing it…”

“Not a good idea,” Gabriel wrapped an arm around me. “Zar is very peculiar about that song.”

The next hour or so, we hung around. I danced with random men and women, in various stages of undress. When midnight hit, I stayed away from everyone, simply sending Dean a picture of me blowing him a kiss. We stayed for a little bit longer before I started to get tired.

Gabriel poofed me back to the bunker and I gave him a huge hug, “This was a lot of fun. Thank you for taking me, and for making me feel like a princess.”

“Anytime,” he gave me a genuine smile. “Now, go to sleep before you fall over.”

I went back to my room, put the dress on a hanger and hung it up on a hook on the wall. It was almost like art, it was just so beautiful. I collapsed in bed and fell asleep quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you speak and/or understand French, I apologize. I used Google translate to get the French I used in this chapter, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was completely wrong.


	15. Chapter 15

A few days into 2019, Dean and Sam returned from their trip. They both looked exhausted after being gone for two weeks. I was sitting in the library when they walked in. As Dean dropped his bag on the floor and sighed, I stood and walked over to him, pulling him into my arms. 

He put his forehead on my shoulder and groaned, “God I hate vamps.”

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” I left Dean’s bag on the floor, knowing it was going to be too heavy to carry. “Night, Sam.”

“Goodnight, Emily,” Sam said as he yawned. He disappeared down the hall to his room. 

I was holding Dean up and knew I wouldn’t make it to his room, so I took him into mine. Sitting him down on the bed, I kneeled on the floor to take off his boots. He fell back on the bed and groaned as I unbuckled his belt and pulled off his pants. I had to force him to sit up so I could take off his shirt.

When I got him down to his boxers, he sighed. I sat on the bed next to him, “What’s wrong, Dean?”

“We couldn’t save them,” he sounded emotionless.

I crawled behind him and dug my fingers into his shoulders, trying to massage away the tension I knew he must be feeling. Dean was always the type to hide his emotions, not letting them get away from him. Only when he was angry did he seem to be unable to control how he reacted. But even though I didn’t know real Dean that well yet, I knew television Dean. And even though he hid his emotions away too, you could tell that he was sensitive. The episode when he had Cas take away Lisa and Ben’s memories showed that spectacularly.

“I’m sorry. That must have been hard.” I kept rubbing his shoulders until he reached up a hand to grab mine. When he did that, I just sat behind him with my legs on either side of his hips, and wrapped my arms around his torso, “I’m sure that you guys did everything you could.”

“It wasn’t enough.” He looked around the room as if just realizing where he was, “I should go to my room.”

“Dean, we’ve already had sex. You can stay with me if you want.” I kissed his back, “Stay with me. I’ve missed you.”

He turned and pushed me back on the bed, then curled up against me, “If you insist.” He yawned and I played with his hair. His voice came out really softly as he asked, “Will you sing for me?”

_ It's a little bit funny this feeling inside _ __   
_ I'm not one of those who can easily hide _ __   
_ I don't have much money but boy if I did _ __   
_ I'd buy a big house where we both could live _ __   
_ If I was a sculptor, but then again, no _ __   
_ Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show _ __   
_ I know it's not much but it's the best I can do _ _   
_ __ My gift is my song and this one's for you

_ And you can tell everybody this is your song _ __   
_ It may be quite simple but now that it's done _ __   
_ I hope you don't mind _ __   
_ I hope you don't mind that I put down in words _ _   
_ __ How wonderful life is while you're in the world

_ I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss _ __   
_ Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross _ __   
_ But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song _ __   
_ It's for people like you that keep it turned on _ __   
_ So excuse me forgetting but these things I do _ __   
_ You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue _ __   
_ Anyway the thing is what I really mean _ _   
_ __ Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

_ And you can tell everybody this is your song _ __   
_ It may be quite simple but now that it's done _ __   
_ I hope you don't mind _ __   
_ I hope you don't mind that I put down in words _ _   
_ __ How wonderful life is while you're in the world

He was asleep before I finished the first chorus, but I just continued to sing as I played with his hair. Having him in my arms was every fangirl's dream come true. Jensen Ackles is one of those guys that grew better with age, like expensive whiskey. He went from being a teenage heartthrob to being one of the sexiest men alive. 

But Dean, he was the same but different. They both looked eerily similar to one another, which in itself is slightly shocking. But Dean had a confidence about him that came from the way he grew up and his job. Having to pretend to be FBI, fight monsters, and seduce random women into telling him things really helped him with that. There was this look that he had, his eyes would practically burn me when he gave it to me.

I didn’t want to sleep and wake up to find that everything had changed. That he had changed his mind. But after laying next to his warm body for long enough, I fell asleep.

 

When I woke up, Dean was gone. My anxiety spiked as I tried to figure out what had happened. Did I dream of him coming home? Or did he decide that he couldn’t try to do whatever we had? I was beginning to panic when the door pushed open and Dean in just a pair of jeans walked into my room, “Good morning, sweetheart.”

I let out a breath that I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, “Morning, Dean.”

He looked at the wall and saw the dress, “So, did you have fun in Paris with Gabe?”

I could tell there was another question there, “Are you asking if someone kissed me at midnight?” Dean just looked away, “No one has kissed me other than you. If you had been there, maybe it would have been different. But I didn’t want to start off the new year by kissing someone else.”

Standing, I moved over to him and ran my fingers down his chest. They dipped into his pants, just deep enough that I could feel the base of his cock, “I really missed you, Dean. I can’t tell you how many nights I dreamt about you fucking me.”

I undid his pants and pushed both them and his underwear down to the ground, kneeling on the floor at the same time. Gripping his cock, I looked up at him and licked from the base to the tip, swirling my tongue around the velvety head. He grew harder in my hand and I smiled, “Did you miss me too?”

As my mouth enveloped his cock completely, he moaned, “Fuck yes.” His hands gripped my hair and pulled me up until I was standing in front of him. He kissed me roughly before taking a step back. “I believe I said something about punishment for making me hard while I was working.”

“I seem to recall something like about that.”

His eyes narrowed and his voice deepened, “Strip.”

I quickly took off my clothes and stood there naked in front of him. I put my arms behind my back, hands on opposite wrists, “Where do you want me, sir?” I took a step toward him, raised myself up on my toes and lined my pussy up with his cock so I could slide it between my hips, “How do you want me?”

He groaned and gripped my hips, helping me stay in that position. He thrust in between my legs a couple of time and then pulled me off him, pushing me so my chest was on the bed with my feet on the floor. He took one ass cheek in each hand and squeezed, “Fucking hell, you are so beautiful. Do you have a safeword?”

“Do I need one?” I looked over my shoulder at him and saw the smolder that made every female in the fandom moan. I felt myself clench with need, “How about pineapple? I can’t imagine I would ever say that during sexy time.”

“Sexy time, really?” he laughed and the sound was glorious. “You won’t need it tonight, but someday soon, baby girl, I’m going to play with you so much you might want it.” He rubbed my ass and then smacked it hard. It stung more than hurt, but I still shrieked in surprise.

He smacked one side after the other in a rhythmic fashion, hard enough to sting and make my ass red, but not really hard enough that I was in pain. I took my arms from behind my back and pushed my torso up a little bit, looking over my shoulder at him, “Fuck me, Dean.”

He smacked me harder, “Now, baby girl, that’s not how you ask.”

“Please, sir, fuck your good little slut.” I wiggled my ass, moaning when I heard his intake of breath.

He lined up his cock with my pussy and pushed in slowly, “This what you want, baby girl?” His hips moved slowly against mine and I felt myself getting closer to the edge. When I clenched down on him, he growled and shoved into me hard, making me moan, “Alright, sweet thing, you’re going to get fucked.”

He moved faster and faster until he was pounding into me so hard that the bed moved a little bit. Luckily, after Gabriel had made it larger it was originally, all it did was bounce against the wall. I could feel the tension coiling in my belly and I looked back at him, “Come with me, Dean.”

His hips started moving erratically and at the intense look in his eyes, I started to come. He continued to thrust into throughout my orgasm before coming himself. As he pulled out of me, Dean rubbed a hand on my ass, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” 

His voice was so insecure that I pushed myself up and stood, kissing his lips, “Dean, I lo...I loved every second of it.” He gave me a small smile, “I am going to promise you something. No matter what, I will tell you if you ever do anything to hurt me. Whether it is in bed, or not. Okay?” The look in his eyes almost had me finishing my earlier statement that I had changed last second, “But I need you to promise me the same. I don’t ever want us to go to bed mad. I care about you too much to let something small fuck us up.”

“I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can ask.”


	16. Chapter 16

After the boys came home, I got back on track with my practices with Gadreel. Dean watched them, curious about what I had been doing while they were gone. He wasn’t happy when Gadreel touched me, but he seemed pretty impressed with everything I had learned. When I tried to talk with him about going out hunting with them, he kept shooting me down though.

While it irritated the crap out of me, I could understand. If someone was with Dean and they got hurt, he always blamed himself. He did the same thing when he was a child and John would blame him for Sam getting hurt. It didn’t matter that Dean was a child himself. God, I hated John Winchester. Never in my entire life was I so happy that someone was dead.

One of the nights, Dean and I were laying in bed after making love and he brought up something I had said when we first met, “So, I seem to recall you saying something about threesomes.”

I felt my face flush, “I think what I said was that Misha’s wife had written a book and that I owned it.” I could see his cock starting to swell again, even though it hadn’t been that long since we both came.

“Have you ever actually thought about doing something like that?” 

The expression on his face had me grinning. I reached over and put my hand on his cock, gliding up and down, “So, you like the idea of sharing me, do you?” His breath hitched, “And who do you want to share me with? Cas? Benny?” At Benny, his cock twitched in my hand. I leaned down until my lips were by his ear, still moving my hand up and down his cock slowly, “Do you want to watch as I tease your best friend, stripping my clothes off piece by piece?”

“Fuck,” he moaned.

“Watch as I grind my wet pussy onto his lap, smearing my juices on his pants.” I switched positions, moving so I was straddling his hips. His cock nestled against my pussy without penetrating. I rocked my hips back and forth, “His rough hands running over my breasts,” I mimicked my words. “Pinching my nipples.”

Dean gripped my hips tight, raising me so he could stick his cock inside me. I bounced up and down a few times before slowing. Rocking my hips just enough that he moved in and out of me deliciously slow.

“I would take off all his clothes until his cock is free. My mouth watering at the thought of sucking another man's cock while you watch.” I let my hands move to Dean’s chest, fingers grazing his nipples, “I would get down on my knees in front of him and lick his cock, then letting him grab my face and fuck my mouth.”

I started moving my hips faster, “Then I would lead Benny over to the bed and lay him down. I would crawl on top of him, sinking his hard cock deep into my pussy. I would ride him for a minute before hearing you come over and lube up my asshole. I want you to punish me hard for fucking another man.”

Dean’s hand smacked my ass hard and my pussy clenched, “Yes, just like that. You would stick your cock up my ass, feeling Benny’s in my pussy. As you both fuck me, you would be spanking my ass hard, telling me what a dirty little slut I am for wanting two men to fuck me at once.”

Dean picked me up and turned os over so he was on top. He put me on all fours, smacking my ass hard, “Fuck, you are my dirty little slut, aren’t you?” He thrust his cock into me, pounding in and out as he spanked each cheek in turn.

“Fuck yes. Yours, Dean, all yours.” I started to come. As my pussy clenched on his cock, he gripped my hips and thrust in me one last time before coming. We fell onto the bed, spent.

“Shit, Emily. You just about killed me.” He played with a lock of my hair, running it through his fingers. “Do you really want that?”

I rolled so I could look at him, “I would never do anything that you didn’t want. You are the only one I want in my life and my bed.” My mouth curved into a wicked grin, “But truthfully, the whole idea of a threesome seriously turns me on. It seemed to work for you too.” I laid a hand on his chest, “So, why Benny and not Cas?”

His expression grew dark, “I just can’t go there with Cas. We have too much history.” He smirked, “Plus, Cas would treat you too nice. Benny will take you as hard as you can handle.”

“Have you guys ever…”

“Been together?” I nodded. He shook his head, “No, I’m fairly certain he doesn’t swing that way. Benny is my best friend, he’s saved my ass more times than I can count, but I’ve never even considered crossing that line.” He gave me a serious look, “Do you truly want to do this?”

I sat up and took a deep breath, “So, I’m going to be completely honest with you. The thought of having someone watching me is an instant turn on. I’ve never done anything like that before, but I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak in me. I think the idea of having you watch me with someone else is enticing because it is so forbidden. Although, I do have to say that I’ve always wanted to try a DP at least once in my life.” I looked at him, my voice serious, “However, I would not enjoy it if you didn’t. I would never, NEVER, touch another guy without your direct permission. Just because I have a fantasy doesn’t mean we have to live it out.”

He thought for a second, “I don’t know how we would ask him, but I’m down for it if Benny is.”

“Really?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Yes.”

 

It was a few days later and I was working on planning Dean’s birthday party. He was turning forty and I wanted to get all of his friends here that could come. Sam was taking care of inviting the people he knew, but I was making a special phone call to Benny, and I was really nervous.

I dialed Benny’s number that I had snuck from Dean’s phone. A deep Cajun accent said, “Hello?”

“Hi, Benny?”

“Yes, ma’am. And who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?”

“My name is Emily. I am Dean’s…”

“Lady love, he has spoken most highly of you.” He chuckled, “What can I do for you?”

I felt my face flush and I was extremely grateful he couldn’t see me, “Well, Dean’s 40th birthday is coming up and I want to throw him a surprise party.”

“Cher, Dean doesn’t do surprises.”

“Why am I not surprised,” I muttered. When Benny laughed, I said, “Well, too damn bad. I’m doing it anyway. He will just have to suck it up and deal with it. Will you be able to come?”

“For Dean, I’ll be there with bells on.” I gave him the details but didn't hang up. We sat in silence for a bit before he asked, “Was there something else?”

I gulped. It was now or never, “How do you feel about...sharing?”

“Sharing what, cher?” his voice came out sounding very curious. “I know you aren’t talking about food because I am the only vamp that Dean is friends with.” His voice deepened, “Are you asking if I share women?”

“Umm,” I stuttered. “Yes?”

Benny chuckled, “Are you asking or telling cher?” There was silence again, “If you are asking have I shared women before, the answer is yes. I have never shared a woman with Dean, though. Is that what you are asking of me? Do you wish for Dean and I to partake in your body together?”

I could feel myself growing aroused. My answer came out stronger, “Yes.”

“And is Dean aware and receptive to this particular fantasy of yours, cher?”

“Yes.”

“Then, I will make sure to come hungry and ready to feast. I shall see you then, cher.” Benny hung up and I had to press my face against the cool grain of the wood, trying to calm my flaming flesh.

Dean came around the corner and saw me sitting at the library table with my face against the wood. It was very obvious that I was aroused. Sam had left to go to the store, so it was just me and him in the bunker. He walked over to me and started rubbing my back, letting his fingers drift to my sides so he could graze the edges of my breasts.

“Baby girl, you look a little turned on.” He looked over my shoulder at the book I had been reading, “Does 100 Way to Kill a Demon turn you on?” 

“Nope,” I sat up and turned to look at him. I couldn’t tell him the truth, because that would spoil the surprise. Instead, I stood and started unbuttoning his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders onto the ground. I let my fingers dig into his biceps and I moaned, “You make me wet just thinking about you.”

I took off my shirt and bra, cupping my own breasts with my hands. “God, just thinking about you fucking me.” One of my hands drifted down to my leggings, then inside the waistband to my wet folds.

He growled and yanked my hand out of my pants, pushed them down and lifted me onto the table with my legs spread wide. Crouching down before me, he looked up at me, “I’ve been wanting to do this out here for ages. Ever since you told me about your little exhibitionist kink.”

His tongue darted out and licked me ever so briefly, causing me to moan. When he started to lick me in earnest, I put my arms behind me to brace myself. It felt so good, “Fuck, Dean.” He started sucking on my clit and I heard a noise. My eyes flew open and I saw Sam standing there, his mouth open in shock. I started to come, loudly, “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.”

As I came down from my orgasm, I looked to where Sam had been and sighed in relief that he had disappeared before Dean had seen him. Dean stood and I could see the tent in the front of his pants. Sliding off the table, I fell to my knees and unbuttoned his pants, “Your turn big boy.”

 

It was the day of the party and I was a nervous wreck. I was wearing the purple halter dress that had been in my bag, and I felt very exposed. It showed off all of my back, I couldn’t wear a bra with it, and a good breeze would show my ass to the world. But when I had put it on, Dean had smiled at me in the way that melted my heart and I couldn’t say no to him.

Kevin and Mrs. Tran were already here, setting up the food in the kitchen. Dean had not been shocked in the least when they showed up. He had pulled me to the side to tell me what a bad liar I am, but how sweet it was that I had tried.

He got a text that put a huge grin on his face and ran to the front door. When he came back, he had a pretty redhead with him. “Emily, this is Charlie.”

I walked over and gave her a big hug. Charlie had always been my favorite character on the show, “It’s so good to finally meet you. I want to hear all about Oz and Moondoor. And maybe you can show me Princess Leia straddling the D20, I’ve always been curious about it.” She gave me a curious look, “I guess he didn’t tell you that I come from an alternate universe where you are a television character?”

“No, he did. I just didn’t think you would know about my tattoo. It was comic con…”

“And you got drunk. I know.” I glanced over at Dean, “Maybe Dean and I can join you on your next LARPing adventure. I know how much fun he had that one time.”

A huge smile covered her face, “Dean, I approve.”

Before she could say anything else, Sam entered the room with an older gentleman. He looked very familiar, but I was having a hard time placing him. Sam brought him over to me, “Emily, this is our father, John Winchester.”

He was alive? My blood began to boil and before I realized what I was doing, my hand clenched into a fist and I punched him in the face, hard enough to draw blood. Dean ran over and pulled me away, “What the fuck?”

I was so angry, I couldn’t even think straight. John’s hand came up to his face and wiped away the blood from his mouth, “It’s okay, Dean. Let her go.”

“Actually, you might not want to do that,” I growled. I felt myself getting angrier, “I will punch this abusive bastard again if you let me go.”

Dean tried to calm me down, “Emily, it’s okay.”

“No, no it’s not.” I grimaced, “Your father treated you guys like shit for years, and all of a sudden everything is all hunky dory? You just forgot all the abuse?”

John waved his hand and Dean released me, “I deserved that, and probably more.” My mouth fell open in shock, “I was an abusive bastard. I treated my boys horribly when they were younger, and even when they were in their twenties.” He sighed and sat down on the couch, “I’m just lucky that they let me back into their life at all.”

Sam walked over to his dad and put a hand on his shoulder, “Dad has gotten help. We’ve forgiven him for what he did to us. The past is in the past.”

I looked at Dean and he nodded, “Dad did a lot of fucked up shit when we were younger. It’s only been the last few years we’ve even been able to be in the same room together.” He looked into my eyes, “Trust me, if he were to do anything like before, I would throw him out on his ass.”

My arms crossed over my chest defiantly, “Well, I’m not apologizing for punching him.”

John stood and laughed before walking over to me and sticking out his hand. I shook it and he smiled, “No apology necessary. I would have done the same thing.”

With excellent timing, a deep Cajun voice said, “Am I late to the party?”

“Benny?” Dean sounded confused.

“Sorry man, I know you don’t do surprises, but your lady love insisted.” My face burned as he walked over to me. He grabbed my hand and bent, placing a kiss to the back of my hand, “Cher, it is good to meet you in person.” He pulled me into a hug and whispered, “I look forward to seeing what you look like beneath this dress.”

Benny walked over to the others, and they started talking about the good old days. Dean pulled me just outside the room to the hallway, “While Benny is right, I don’t like surprises, this is a good surprise.” He placed a gentle kiss to my lips before pushing me up against the wall near the doorway. “Now, why did you invite Benny I wonder.” His hand drifted up my thigh and under my dress, fingers brushing against the crotch of my underwear, “Jesus, you are soaked.”

His fingers slipped inside my underwear, rubbing my clit. “Dean, what about…”

He grinned and inserted two fingers into my pussy, moving them in and out as he rubbed my clit. When my pussy clenched, he leaned close and whispered, “It seems my little exhibitionist likes this.” He started moving them in and out faster, causing me to moan. “Besides, we’re far enough away the only one who will hear is Benny. Unless of course, they were to get up and see what was taking so long.”

The thought of being caught threw me over the edge and I came on his fingers. Dean captured my loud moans with his mouth, kissing me deeply. He pulled his hand out of my underwear and sucked my juices off, “Delicious.” He kissed me and I tasted myself on his tongue, “Go back in now, I’ll be there in a second.”


	17. Chapter 17

I went back to the living room in a daze. Benny gave me a knowing wink and I flushed, “Anyone need a drink?” All eyes turned to me.

“You should bring out that bottle of whiskey you’ve been hiding from Dean,” Sam said. “I know you got it for his birthday, so we may as well drink it.”

“Just soda for me,” John added. “I gave up drinking when I got my boys back.” With that, he went up in my estimation. I still hated him for what he did to them, but I was beginning to warm up to him.

I grabbed the bottle of whiskey out of my room and then stopped in the kitchen to grab a can of Coke out of the fridge. “Kevin, Mrs. Tran, everyone else is here if y’all want to come on out.”

“It’s Linda, please.” She grabbed a bowl of chips off the counter, “Mrs. Tran makes me feel so old.”

Kevin just rolled his eyes and I had to try not to laugh, “Of course, Mrs...Linda.”

We spent the next few hours talking about everything and anything. John spent a lot of time telling stories about when Dean was a child. I could see how much he loved his sons. There truly was regret there for how he treated them. I knew deep down that John had never really meant to hurt his kids, but he was so obsessed with finding and killing the yellow-eyed demon that it hurt everything else in his life.

But finding out that he was sober for five years and working as a mechanic, only talking about hunting when Bobby called him with a question, made me respect the man I had hated. I still didn’t regret punching him in the face.

By about eight that night, I could feel both Benny’s and Dean’s eyes on me every time I moved. I was flushed almost all the time, and not just from the liquor. I think that Sam could tell something was up because he stood, “Hey guys, I think it’s time to call it a night. You all okay to drive home?”

Everyone mumbled an affirmative and within minutes, everyone was gone except the four of us. Sam looked between Dean and Benny, then to me. I just shook my head at him. He sighed, probably knowing what was going to happen, “I’m going to go and see Sarah. Haven’t spent much time with her lately, and I miss her.”

He pulled Dean into a hug and whispered something in his ear that Dean laughed at. Once he was gone, both Benny and Dean looked at me with equally heated gazes. I stood, turned, and started walking toward the hallway to the bedrooms. I looked over my shoulder at them, “Coming?”

I led them into my room. Once we were through the doors, Dean pulled me against him and kissed me passionately. Benny’s warm body pressed up against my back, his hands moving up and down my sides as he kissed the side of my neck.

Dean pulled away briefly, “Are you sure?” All I could do was nod. He stepped away and sat down in one of the chairs I had set up for tonight.

Benny’s hands turned me and his lips captured mine. I moaned against him as his hands cupped my ass and pulled me closer. Pulling away, I led Benny to a chair a few feet away from Dean. When he was seated, I took off my dress, leaving me dressed in only a thong.

I slipped that off as well before going over and straddling Benny’s lap. I could feel his hard cock straining against his jeans. I gyrated against him, rubbing my wet pussy against his jeans. One of his hands went to my breast while the other moved to my pussy, “God Dean, she’s so fucking wet.” He inserted two fingers in me and I moaned again.

I couldn’t help but move on his fingers. My well thought out plans of a slow seduction went out the window once he touched me. Having Dean watch while his best friend touched me intimately was more of a turn on than I had initially thought possible.

Hands gripped my shoulders lightly, and Dean pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head. He pulled me off Benny, gripping my arms beneath my back in one hand. “Benny, I think she owes you some pleasure too.”

Benny stood and kissed me, “She gives me pleasure just by being.”

I could hear the grin in Dean’s voice, “Get naked, man.” He laughed, “Never thought I’d be saying that to you.”

Benny laughed as he stripped out of his clothes. Once he was naked, I moaned at the sight of his body. He was burlier than Dean, his cock thick and hard, jutting out from his hips. Dean smacked my ass hard before forcing me to my knees.

He released my arms but said, “Don’t move your arms.”

I did as he instructed, using my hands to hold my forearms and stared up at Benny’s cock, mouth watering. Two hands gripped my head and I watched as Benny stroked his cock slowly. He slipped the head inside my mouth and I moaned around it. Dean’s hands pushed me down all the way and I drooled around his cock. The one thing I could do that I prided myself on was my excellent deep throating skills.

When Dean released my head, I moved my mouth up and down on Benny’s cock, sucking lightly. His hands ran through my hair as I sucked. After a few minutes, he pushed my head off him and raised me up so he could kiss me passionately.

This time, Dean was behind me and I could feel his now naked body pressing against my back. I had one hard cock pressing against my front, another pressing against my ass. Dean kissed the side of my neck, biting it gently, “Let’s move this to the bed.”

Benny laid down on my fluffy white comforter and I stood there, staring at him. He was so fucking gorgeous. Not as hot as Dean, but his scruffy beard and burly chest covered in a nice layer of hair were just so manly. I crawled onto the bed in between his slightly spread legs. I sucked his cock for another few seconds before moving up to his hips and straddling him.

I raised my hips and sunk myself down on his cock, “Fuck, Benny, you’re so thick.” I moaned loudly and leaned down so I could kiss him. As my hips moved up and down on him, I felt a smack to my ass. 

Dean rubbed the cheek that he had spanked before smacking each cheek another time, hard enough I knew I would have marks tomorrow, “You are such a good little slut, aren’t you? Taking Benny’s big hard cock like a champ.” He continued to spank me before climbing on top of the bed.

His hands rubbed my back and ass as I fucked his best friend. Benny gripped me tightly, holding me in place as I heard the click of the lube opening. Dean rubbed the lubed on my asshole, pressing a finger inside me. I kept trying to move, but Benny’s arms were like a vise holding me still. Soon, Dean had three fingers up my ass and I was open and lubed.

His fingers disappeared and I looked over my shoulder at him, pouting. Dean laughed, “Oh sweetheart, you’re going to love this.” He slowly pushed his cock inside my ass and both him and Benny moaned, “Christ Benny, I can feel your cock through her ass. Shit, I don’t know how long I will last.”

Benny released me and the boys started fucking me slowly until I was completely used to the size of both boys inside me. I looked down at Benny and said, “Fuck me hard. Take and use this dirty little slut like the whore she is.”

The started to pound in and out of me. One pushing in as the other pulled out. It was ecstasy. I started coming and my moans turned into screams as they continued, orgasms coming one right after another. After a few minutes of pounding, Dean came in my ass, followed quickly by Benny.

Dean pulled out of my ass, flopping to the side. I just laid on top of Benny, my breath coming out fast and hard. “Holy shit, cher. I don’t think I’ve ever had that much fun.”

I laughed lightly and kissed his lips, “Thanks for helping to fulfill my fantasy.” I forced myself off him and turned to Dean, kissing him lightly as well. I stared into his eyes, “Happy birthday, love. Thank you for indulging me with this.”

“Shit, sweetheart. It was good enough, we can definitely do this again next time Benny comes through town.”

“Amen to that brother.”


	18. Chapter 18

The next several weeks flew by. Dean and I grew closer every time we were together. I had to fight not to tell him that I loved him every single time he looked at me. As true as it was, I didn’t want to scare him. Gadreel was still showing me how to fight, even bringing me other angels, the fighters, to spar with me. But only when Dean was not home. He told me how impressed he was with my progress and gifted me with an angel blade of my own, telling me it would be good protection.

I couldn’t tell if Dean was more jealous that I got a blade and he didn’t, or pissed that another guy had given me a gift. I just kissed him and assured him that he was the only man for me. He still didn’t want to take me out hunting, but I pouted enough that he told me he would teach me how to shoot. But he wouldn’t take me hunting until I could shoot and hit the target mostly center mass.

Once I could do that, Dean reluctantly agreed that the next hunt they went on, I could go. However, he did caveat that by saying it couldn’t be too dangerous. I was overjoyed when he told me that I could go. So much so that I ran to the room and pulled out a notebook full of information I had been accumulating.

I ran back to the library and started showing Sam and Dean what I had found. “So, I was reading the book on the extinct creatures, and I think we might have a live one.” I showed them the book and the notes in the margin, “This got me thinking that maybe there was something at the great lakes. And if this book is to be believed, it is a Kraken.” 

There were so many newspaper articles I had clipped about boats being pulled under and people swearing up and down that a monster lived underwater. Granted, some of them were from those kinds of magazines that made up lies constantly, but still. “Come on, guys. Let’s go look into this. How fucking cool would it be if there was really a Kraken in Minnesota of all places?”

Dean and Sam looked at each other, a whole conversation passing between them that I was not privy to. Dean just gave me a shake of his head, “Sorry, baby girl. If this is a giant fuck-off octopus, there is no way in hell you are coming. Too dangerous.”

My eyes widened and I took a step back from the table, “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“Emily,” Sam started.

“No, you guys don’t get to shut me out of yet another fucking case.” I was starting to get angry, “I’m the one who fucking found it. Not you, ME!”

Dean crossed his arms over his chest, “No way, sweetheart, not happening.”

“Oooh, you make me so made, Dean Winchester.” I stalked over to him and poked him in the chest, “If you don’t take me with you, I’ll call Cas down here and get him to take me. And he would because he likes me. Or better yet, I’ll call Gabriel, because Gabe won’t put up with your shit.” When his eyes narrowed, I added, “Wonder if Crowley would take me. Maybe he’d like to see a Kraken.”

Dean threw his hands in the air, “Fine. We’ll take you. But you better do what we say, because I swear on all that’s holy if you get hurt…”

I threw my arms around him and kissed him soundly, “I’m ready for this, Dean. Thank you.”

“Well, you blackmailed me, how could I say no?” he grumbled.

 

In Minnesota, I had to sit in the car while they went in to talk with the sheriff. They hadn’t gotten me fake badges yet, not enough time, so I couldn’t be a part of the ‘official’ investigation. I saw a diner that had a sign saying ‘Kraken info here’ and decided to go and see what was up. I sent the boys a text.

**ME: Going to the diner across the street.**

**_SAM: Okay, be careful. We’ll be there in a bit._ **

Inside, I sat down at the counter and a large older gentleman came over to me. His nametag said Sid. “What can I get for you?”

I took a quick glance at the menu, “I would love a hamburger and fries with a Coke, please.”

“Sure thing, doll.” He walked away and gave my order to the cook.

When he brought me the drink, I said, “So, I’ve heard rumor there’s a Kraken in the great lakes.”

“That’s what they say,” he gave me a defensive look.

“I think that’s pretty awesome. I mean, a Kraken, in the US of A. How freaking cool.” I felt like I was twelve again, trying to make the cool kids like me. But it seemed to work because he smiled at me, “I’m just really interested in supposedly mythical beasts. I traveled here all the way from Kansas just because of these rumors. I would really like to see it.”

Sid leaned against the counter, “No, doll, you don’t.” He pushed up his sleeve and showed me his arm that had three very large circle scars on it, “I got this when I fell into the water of Lake Erie. That monster has killed more people than we even know about.”

“Do you know when it got here?”

“It’s been here since the early 1800s. At least, that’s when we have the first records of it being here.” He laid his hand on top of mine, “Seriously, you don’t want to go out there. It’s not worth it.”

I finished my food and was almost back to the Impala when the boys walked out. Sam gave me a look, “I thought you were going to the diner.”

I was practically vibrating, I was so excited, “It’s real. The guy at the diner showed me his scars and told me not to go out there. We have to go out there. Right now.”

“Whoa, slow down, baby girl.” Dean grabbed my shoulders, “We’ll go in the morning, okay?”

I sighed, “Fine.”

We headed to the hotel and got a room. Sam wanted to get two rooms, but Dean told him that it was stupid to be separated. It would be easier to get work done if we were all in the same place. Sam spent the night researching, while Dean did his best to help. I just stayed on the bed, looking through all the data I had collected.

Sam fell asleep first, having not gotten much sleep the night before. When Dean and I laid down to sleep, I turned on my side and looked at the man I loved. I must have had a weird expression on my face because he asked, “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” I couldn’t tell him. I didn’t know how he would react.

“Come on, I know something’s up.” He lifted my chin with his fingers, “Remember, we promised to always tell each other the truth.” I nodded, “Now, what’s up?”

I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes, saying the three words I had longed to say for months, “I love you.”

He had this flabbergasted look on his face, but he didn’t say anything. He gave me this slow sweet smile and pulled me down for a sensual kiss. We couldn’t do more because Sam was in the room, and I didn’t think I had the stomach for it when he couldn’t even say it back to me. I turned my back to him, pressing my back to him and holding his arm to my chest. That way, when the tears started to fall, at least he wouldn’t realize I was crying.

 

The next day, we headed out to Lake Erie to see what was going on. Dean and Sam were once again in their FBI garb. They were off talking to the park ranger and I just walked up to the water. It was so clear, I could see practically all the way to the bottom. But I didn’t see anything else. I stuck my hand in the water and suddenly, a tentacle leaped out of the water and pulled me in. As I went underwater, I heard Dean scream, “EMILY!”

The tentacle pulled me down, deep into the lake. I tried struggling, but it was no use. I was going down and there was nothing I could do about it. Then there was a feeling in my head of terror and I realized it wasn’t me. I tried projecting my thoughts out, to see what would happen.

**Are you the Kraken?**

**IS THAT WHAT THEY CALL ME?**

**Yes.** I was starting to get light headed.  **I can’t breathe. If you keep pulling me under, I will die.**

The tentacle changed course and brought me up to the surface, where I gasped for air. I was about twenty feet from the shore, but the tentacle was still on my arm.

“EMILY,” Dean screamed again.

“I’m okay,” I yelled back.

**I HAVE BROUGHT YOU BACK TO THE SURFACE. HOW IS IT THAT YOU CAN HEAR ME?**

**I don’t know. Has this never happened before?**

**YOU ARE THE FIRST. CAN YOU HELP ME GET HOME?**

The Kraken sent me an image of what I assumed was the Pacific Ocean because it felt cold and vast.

**I don’t know. You are rather large.**

**I WAS NOT THAT LARGE WHEN I WAS BROUGHT HERE.**

The Kraken showed me an image of a tiny octopus being captured and put onto a wooden boat. Then it was thrown into the lake and left to fend for itself. It kept growing, larger and larger, until the lake was not big enough for it anymore. There was not enough food for it, which was the only reason it killed anyone.

**I need you to let me talk to my friends.**

**YOU WILL TRY TO KILL ME.**

**I give you my word, we will not try to kill you.**

The tentacle released me and I swam back to shore. Dean pulled me into his arms before pushing me back, “What the fuck were you thinking? Oh, that’s right, you weren’t.” He started to pace, “I told you this was too fucking dangerous for you. I told you I didn’t want you to come. Now look at you, you almost drowned.”

I stepped forward and brought my hand to his face, dropping it when he stepped away from me, “Whatever, Dean. We can argue about this later. Right now, we need to figure out a way to save the Kraken.”

“Save the Kraken?” Sam’s reasonable voice made me laugh.

“Yes.” I pushed up my sleeve and showed him the marks, “Apparently, it can communicate with me. It showed me that it used to be small and was brought here. The only reason it’s killed is that it’s hungry. I told him that we would try and help.”

“No.” Dean’s voice was adamant. “Not only no, but hell no.”

“Fuck off, Dean.” I was tired of his shit. “You are not my father. Just because we are in a relationship doesn’t mean you can control my every action. I’m doing this, whether you approve or not.”

I walked away, not wanting to see the look of hurt on Dean’s face. I prayed, “Cas, I don’t know if you can help, but man, I really hope you can. If you have time, can you come down?”

The sound of wings had me smiling. When Cas arrived, I walked over and gave him a huge hug, “Good to see you, Cas.”

“You as well, Emily.” He looked over at Dean and Sam, “I take it Dean is upset, again.”

“Are we really surprised about this?”

Cas laughed, “No, not in the least. So how can I help?” I gave him a quick rundown of what had happened. “How is it that you think I can help?”

“Is there any way you can transport him to the ocean?”

He looked out at the lake, “How large is this creature?”

“Very large.” I showed him the tentacle marks, which is promptly healed, “That was just from the tip of his tentacle.”

“If we could make him smaller, I would be able to take him.” Cas tilted his head to the side while he thought. Suddenly, a smile came to his face, “Gabriel.”

“Gabe can help?”

“Maybe.” He looked at me, “You call him. He doesn’t always answer when I call.”

I called Gabriel and within seconds there was the sound of wings again and there he was, “Hello again. I see that Samshine and Dean-o are being assholes again.”

I sighed and told him the whole spiel. “Can you make him small?”

Gabriel turned to the lake, “Maybe.” He stuck a hand in the water and a tentacle grabbed him but didn’t pull him under. Seconds passed and Gabriel started to glow like a falling star. I had to look away it was so bright. After a couple of minutes, the light died down and I risked glancing his way.

Gabriel was on the ground passed out, Cas holding him against his chest. On the ground next to him was an octopus the size of a labrador. I rushed over to Gabriel’s side and looked at Cas, “Will he be alright?”

“He just used up all his energy, he will regain it...after a time.” Cas closed his eyes and a couple of other angels appeared and took Gabriel away. “He may be an archangel, but his power is not unlimited.” He touched the octopus, “I will return.”

With the sound of wings, both the Kraken and Cas were gone. I stood and went back to the boys. Dean was glaring at me and Sam looked dumbfounded. “Did that really just happen?”

“I think so.” I looked at the man I loved, “Dean…”

“No, you made your choice, Emily. I’m too fucking pissed at you right now to deal with this.” He stalked away and I was left there, staring at his retreating back.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be back.” Sam patted my back, “He always comes back.”


	19. Chapter 19

The next couple of months were much of the same. I stayed at the bunker while the boys went off and did their thing. Dean and I were still on the outs after the whole Kraken debacle. I tried to fix things, but he just ignored me. If I hadn’t loved him so much, I would have called Chuck and had him send me home. We had promised each other that we wouldn’t go to bed mad, but he wouldn’t even talk to me.

Eventually, they did take me on a case. There were several people missing from a college campus over the past six months, and they needed help to search. Dean didn’t want me there, but Sam managed to convince him that I could be helpful.

We were in a large building, standing just inside the entrance, “I’ll take this floor, you two can fight between the basement and second floor.”

“Emily,” Dean’s voice was stern, “We shouldn’t split up.”

Sam piped in, “We don’t know what monster is capturing people yet.”

“Look, Felicia was taken four days ago. If she is still alive, we need to get to her as quickly as we can.” I help up the gun, “I’ve got weapons, and after all the training with Gadreel, I’m ready for this. Come on, you guys split up all the time. I know that you’re still upset with me about the Kraken, but this won’t be that bad. Nothing can drown me here. Whatever is killing these kids, I want to stop it.”

“We just don’t want you to get hurt,” Sam said, trying to be the voice of reason.

“And that’s fine, but I want you to treat me like a hunter, not like an incapable child.”

Dean looked irritated, “Fine, I’ll go down, Sammy you go up.” He laid a hand on my cheek and said softly, “You run into any trouble, yell as loud as you can and we’ll come running.” That was the sweetest he had been to me in two months, and it was because I was being stupid in deciding that I needed to be a big bad hunter.

I simply nodded and we separated. The warehouse was fairly bare except for the occasional graffiti on the wall. I held my gun out in front of me as I pushed my way into each new room. I moved down the hallway and was almost to the end of the hall when something hit me on the back of the head, knocking me unconscious.

I woke up in a big, soft bed, sunlight streaming in on me. My head felt surprisingly fine. Standing, I looked around the bedroom, confused as to where I was. The room was large with a bay window overlooking a well-manicured lawn. Sure I must still be sleeping, I went into the bathroom and stared at my image in the mirror. I looked the same as I remembered, but there was a bandage on my forehead. Reaching a hand up to touch it, I saw a ring on my finger. I was married?

Moving quickly, I hurried through the house, trying to figure out what was going on. I came to a halt when I got to the kitchen and saw a familiar face drinking coffee, “Mary?”

She smiled at me, “Emily, it’s good to see you up and about. When you hit your head yesterday, we were worried about you.”

I walked over to her and gave her a big hug, squeezing tightly before letting go. “God, I never thought I would get to meet you.”

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “I live here, dear, in your guest house.”

Before I could say anything else, two young children came barreling into the kitchen screaming, “Mommy!” They latched themselves onto my legs and I looked down at them in horror. I had children? When did that happen?

I turned my gaze to Mary and she took pity on me, “Chase, Lily, let your mother be. Her head is still hurting after her fall.” She pulled them away from me and took them out of the room.

What the fuck was happening? I picked up the phone and dialed the first number that sprung to mind. Sam answered, “Good morning, Sam Winchester speaking.”

“Sam, oh thank god. I don’t know what’s going on. We were in a warehouse, I got hit on the head and now I have children and Mary is here and…”

He cut me off, “Have you been drinking?”

“No,” my tone was defensive.

“Then don’t you think you should be calling Dean for this?”

“But…”

“No Emily, we’ve talked about this. You can’t keep calling me every time you have an issue. Call Dean. You know Dean, your husband of thirteen years. I can’t keep getting in the middle of this.” He sighed, “You’re my sister-in-law and I love you, but you need to call him with your problems, not me.” He hung up and I stared at the phone, flabbergasted.

I didn’t know what to do, so I sat at the kitchen table and laid my head on my arms. A bit later, Mary came in and laid a hand on my back, “Are you okay?”

I looked at her with tears in my eyes, “No. I can’t remember any of this.” I stood and let her wrap me in her arms, “What’s happening to me?”

She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the living room. We sat down on the couch, “I guess the fall must have done more damage than we thought.” A light came on in her eyes, and she got up, coming back with a large photo album. “We just have to remind you.”

She turned to the first page, showing a very young Dean holding an equally young me in his arms. “You and Dean met when you were a junior in high school. You and Sam had become friends, so you came over to celebrate his acceptance into Stanford. I swear, that boy caught sight of you and he was a goner. Lucky for him, your parents loved Dean. He was already working full time at Bobby’s garage, so they knew he was responsible, and he worshipped the ground you walked on. They let him date you because of that. And probably also because they would rather know what was going on in your life. They didn’t seem to mind that he was six years older than you.”

I ran my fingers over the picture of us. We were so young, but we looked so happy, “What happened next?”

“Well, you got into Stanford too, except you went for creative writing. I swear, Dean probably put 100,000 miles on the Impala while you were in school, driving back and forth. He proposed to you at graduation. That ring was actually the one John gave me when we first got married. I wanted you guys to have something that wouldn’t cost you an arm and a leg since you were both so young.” She sighed, a soft smile on her face, “You’ve become a pretty famous author since then. Well, famous enough that you don’t have to work outside the home. You had Chase at 29 and Lily two years later. We’re actually celebrating your guys thirteenth anniversary tonight with everyone.”

A child started crying and she stood, “I’ll go take care of them. Why don’t you head to the office? Maybe getting some writing done will help your memory.”

When she left the room, I stood and searched for my office. It was right off the living room, so it wasn’t hard to find. I shut the door and went immediately to the computer. A picture of Dean and me with our kids looked at me. I flipped it down, feeling judged for what I was about to do.

The story that Mary had told me felt so right, but what I could remember, what I thought I remembered, was something completely different. My fingers raced against the keys of my keyboard as I spent hours searching for information on the cases the boys had worked. I found nothing. Was it possible I’d dreamed it all?

I looked at the bookshelves behind me and saw book after book written by me. The first title was Supernatural: The Woman in White. I felt the blood drain from my face as I stared at the book in shock. Was this really my real life? Did I only think that it was different because of the books I had written?

I heard the Impala pulling up in front of the house, it’s loud engine distinctive. My feet carried me out to the living room where I was when Dean came in the door, “Honey, I’m home.”

My eyes filled with tears and I ran over to him, wrapping my arms around him. I pulled back enough so I could grab his face and kiss him deeply.

His eyes were twinkling as he pulled back, “What’s gotten into you? You haven’t kissed me like that since before Lily was born.”

“I love you, Dean Winchester. God, I love you so much.” We kissed again until a throat cleared behind us.

“Hey, mom. I’m gonna take my old lady to the bedroom for a bit.”

Mary laughed, “Don’t forget you have guests coming over in an hour for the party.”

Dean picked me up in his arms and carried me to our bedroom as I laughed. He dropped me onto the bed and fell on top of me, kissing me lightly, “I love you too, sweetheart. I’m sorry if I don’t tell you enough, but I am so thankful that you came into my life. I honestly don’t know what I would do without you.”

I pushed him off and flipped him to his back before taking off my nightgown. As I unbuttoned his shirt, he pushed off his pants and then we were both gloriously naked. I lined my hips up above his cock and moaned as he filled me, “I love you, Dean.” As I rode him up and down, tears welled in my eyes and I leaned down to kiss him passionately.

He rolled us over until he was on top. We made love, slow and sweet as we kissed. It took only a few minutes before I came, crying against his mouth. Then he pulled back, and while staring at me lovingly, he increased his pace until he came as well.

We laid there for a few minutes in each other's arms when Dean said, “You’re happy with me, right?”

“God, I love you, how could you even ask such a thing?”

“Well, it’s just that you seem a little different.” He looked so sad, “Just promise me one thing.”

“Anything, Dean.”

“Promise you’ll never leave me. That you’ll stay with me,” he put the emphasis on ‘me.’

I sat up and looked down at him, “Dean Winchester, you are the only man I’ve ever loved. You are my soulmate. I would bargain my soul away with the devil himself to keep you.”

“But promise me. Promise you’ll stay with me, with us.”

I was starting to get suspicious, so I simply did as he asked, “I promise.”

He grinned and got off the bed, getting dressed as there was a knock at the door, “Alright, children. Your guests have arrived.”

Dean gave me a gentle kiss, “We’ll be out in the backyard when you’re ready.”

I got dressed slowly, putting on a pretty floral sundress. When I left the room, I went into the kitchen instead, staring out the back window at my family. Dean was playing with Chase and Lily, while Mary was laughing with Sam and Jessica. I came to a realization pretty quickly, but I didn’t want to believe it to be true.

A hand landed on my shoulder and I turned around. Sam was standing behind me. Not lawyer Sam, but hunter Sam, “Emily, you’ve been captured by a Djinn. None of this is real.”

I sighed, “I know.”

“Wait, what?”

“Everything was too perfect.” I twisted the wedding ring on my finger. “I mean, look at this. Mary is alive, you have Jess, I have Dean.”

Sam gave me a sad look, “We’ve already given you the antidote, all you have to do is will yourself out.”

“What if I don’t want to leave?” I turned to look back out the window, “Everything is so perfect, Sam. Dean and I are married, we have two kids. This Dean loves me unconditionally.”

He pulled me into his arms, “It’s not real, Emily. Dying in a fantasy land is not better than living in the real world. No matter how perfect it seems.”

“I don’t know if that’s true. Out there hurts more than I could possibly imagine. At least in here, I can live in the fantasy of having a Dean who wants to spend his life with me.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek, “Dean hasn’t touched me in two months, Sam. Two months. I can’t live without him.”

“Emily,” he said softly. “I know it hurts, but you have friends out there who will mourn you if you die. You’ve brought so much joy to everyone since you arrived in our reality. If you don’t want to do it for Dean or yourself, do it for the rest of us. Please don’t make us mourn you.”

I thought about it and realized he was right. I nodded, “Fine, what do I do?”

When I woke in the real world, I felt like utter and complete shit. Every inch of my body hurt and I felt weaker than a three-day-old kitten. Sam sat up next to me and Dean looked terrified, “God, it’s been a week. I thought I’d lost you.” He picked me up off the ground. “We need to get you to the hospital.”

Dean practically ran to Baby where he climbed into the backseat with me in his arms. He tossed Sam the keys, “Drive, Sammy.” I passed out as he whispered, “Just hold on, Emily. Just hold on.”

I woke in the hospital, the beeping of the machine rhythmic and soothing. I looked around and saw Sam sitting in a chair, dozing. “Sam,” my voice croaked.

He jerked awake, “Thank god, you’re awake.” He stood and brought a cup of water over to me so I could sip it, “Dean just left to go and get some coffee.” He sat back down, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“God, Sam. It was so perfect.” I felt myself start to tear up, “We met in high school, and were married for 13 years. We had two children…”

“I thought you didn’t want kids.”

“I don’t, truly. I don’t like kids enough to have them. Plus, both my old reality and this one suck bad enough that I wouldn’t want to bring a child into it.” I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to see his pitying expression, “But they were so adorable. Perfect little clones of Dean and myself. And Dean loved me. I mean, he truly and deeply loved me. We were married. He had a normal job.”

“You don’t like our job?” I could tell that Sam was just trying to figure things out, he didn’t sound upset. But I kept my eyes closed, still not wanting to see him. I couldn’t take seeing the pain and pity in his eyes as I talked.

“It’s not that I don’t like your guy's job, it’s just that it’s not the best lifestyle to live. I respect the hell out of everything you guys sacrifice for the safety and security of the rest of the world.” I started to cry, “But Sam, Dean was so happy. He didn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders. He didn’t have to worry about saving the next person, he could just be a loving husband and father.”

Sam’s voice sounded a little further away, “What was it about that world that made you want to stay?”

“I am so madly in love with Dean, Sam. It physically hurts, that’s how much I love him. I told him that I love him, but he just smiled. And then he ignored me for two months after the whole Kraken thing. I know I fucked up, but that hurt more than anything else.” Tears were streaming down my face by this point, and a hand grabbed mine, “This Dean loved me back just as much as I love him. We were married. I don’t think that Dean will ever really feel that way about me, nor want to tie himself to me that way.”

“Emily,” Dean’s voice sounded strained.

I opened my eyes and saw Dean standing next to me, holding my hand. I was in shock, “How long have you been here?”

“I was just outside the door when you said you didn’t want kids.” I closed my eyes again and turned my face away from him. He grabbed my face lightly and turned me until I was looking at him again, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry that you’ve been in so much pain and I didn’t realize. I was so scared after the Kraken, that’s the only reason I’ve been keeping my distance. Everything I have ever loved has been taken from me.” He sighed, “I’m not good at this. So, I’m just going to say it and I want you to listen closely. I love you. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. Not Lisa, not Cas, no one. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner, but it took almost losing you for me to realize what it was I am feeling. You are my forever, however long that lasts.”

“Really?” my voice was hopeful.

He reached over and grabbed the chair, pulling it close. Sitting in it, he grabbed my hand in both of his, “Emily, I love you. I would give my soul to Crowley if you asked me to. If you asked me to cut out my beating heart and give it to you in a bod, I would do that. If you want to get married, then that’s what we’ll do. Whatever it takes for you to stay with me. I love you.” He took a deep breath and said seriously, “I. Love. You. Not hunting, not saving the world. I love you.”

I pulled him close and kissed him, “I love you too, Dean. And we don’t have to get married unless you want to. I won’t force you to do something you don’t want. And I’m not going to make you give up hunting either. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy. I’ve never been happier since you came into my life.” I gave him a look, “Okay, I’ve never been happier since we got together. I love you. I love you so fucking much.” He stood all of a sudden, “I’ll be right back.”

He left the room as Sam came back in, “You’re not mad at me are you?”

I had surmised that Sam knew Dean was there, and rather than me angry I was actually grateful, “Not even a little bit. I think it was actually good that he overheard. I don’t know if I ever would have said it to him otherwise.” I coughed, my throat sore, and then yawned. “Will you wake me when Dean gets back?”

Sam nodded and I fell asleep. I woke to the feeling of fingers on my face. Opening my eyes, I saw Dean sitting next to me again, “Hey there, baby girl.”

“Hi, Dean.”

He kissed me and reached into his pocket, pulling something out. “So, I’ve had something of my mother’s hidden in the car for years. It was one of the few things that survived the fire. I want you to have it.” He held up an engagement ring, “Emily, I love you so fucking much. I never want to lose you again. I plan to spend every single fucking day of the rest of my life with you, making up for the fact that I hurt you and made you cry.” He got off the chair and went down on one knee. He lifted my left hand, slipping the ring on my finger, “Will you marry me?”

A gasp was heard near the door, and I knew that we had an audience. Tears started falling down my cheeks again as I looked into Dean’s eyes, “I would love nothing more than to spend every single day waking up next to you, Dean Winchester. My answer is yes.”

Cheers could be heard from the door, and both Dean and I looked over and saw Sam as well as several nurses standing there. The nurses had tears in their eyes, and Sam had a look on his face that said he called it. “Alright, alright. Let’s give them a moment alone,” Sam ushered everyone out of the room and shut the door.

Dean leaned down and kissed me deeply, “I hope you know that this is exactly what I want. I’m not doing this just because I almost lost you. I had actually thought about it before the incident.”

“Before you knew you loved me?”

He laughed, “Well, I knew that I wanted to spend forever with you. I just didn’t realize that it was love. I’m not good at the emotional stuff, you should know that by now. I’m pretty emotionally stunted. It screwed up things with Lisa and with Cas. I wish I could have told you before the Djinn, but it took that big of a shock to realize what I already knew. That I love you with every fiber of my being. I can’t imagine life without you.”


	20. Chapter 20

I was in the kitchen cutting up some vegetables when a pair of strong arms encircled me from behind. A warm kiss was placed against my list, “Hey, baby girl.” Even after being married for ten years, Dean’s voice still gave me the chills. “God, work was crazy today. Have I told you how freaking happy I am that Bobby and Jody moved down here.”

Putting down the knife, I turned around and draped my arms on his shoulders, “Only every other day.” I laughed and gave him a better welcome home kiss. When his hands went to my waist and pulled me closer, I licked his nose causing him to look at me in disgust, “I need to finish dinner. Everyone is coming over for your fiftieth birthday, Dean. If you start that right now, I won’t be held responsible when Sam shows up and catches us mid-fuck.”

He chuckled, “Fine.” One more soft kiss to my lips and he pulled away, “But you don’t need to keep reminding me it’s my fiftieth. I feel it every day.”

I rolled my eyes, “You do not. That’s the perk of having an angel on speed dial, free health care.”

“Fair enough.” Dean tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and looked down into my eyes, “How did I get so lucky to have the perfect woman want to marry me?”

“You’re just lucky I guess,” my voice came out flippant, but the truth is, I’m the lucky one.

A year after the Djinn incident, we got married in Sioux Falls with only close friends and family. A couple of years after that, Sam proposed to Sarah and we found out she was pregnant. The reality of a baby reminded Dean too much of what he had to go through as a child. The second he found out Sarah was pregnant, he told Sam in no uncertain terms that they were done. It was time for him to finish school, become a kickass lawyer, and settle down.

Sam and Sarah moved out to Stanford so he could finish his degree. It was tough to be separated from him, but Dean and I took road trips to visit them as often as possible. When we shuttered the bunker and moved down to Texas, Dean opened Winchester Auto and became an overnight success. I never told him, and because he wasn’t good with computers he never found out, that part of that was due to the fact that he is serious eye candy. Most of the Yelp reviews were from women talking about how hot he was. How much they enjoyed going to watch their car be worked on by him, especially when he would take his shirt off.

A year into doing that, Dean convinced Bobby and Jody to come and join us in Austin. He used the excuse that he could use some help in the shop. Bobby was crotchety about it, but they came down anyways and ended up falling in love with the city. So Bobby was the general manager of Winchester Auto, and Dean still got to do what he loved, work on cars.

Over the years, others came and joined the gang. Jo and Ash moved down here with their two kids, and you know Ellen wasn’t too far behind. Even though Ash was a stoner, he was the smartest man we knew so he ended up in charge of the finances for the business. Garth and his werewolf wife moved down as well. Bobby still had all his old hunting stuff, and even though he was no longer the hunter network because he had ceded that role to Garth, he helped out when needed.

When Sam graduated Stanford, he and Sarah moved into a house a couple down from us with their two kids. The happiest day of Deans life was when he got to show his baby brother what he had made of himself. With the way they were raised, he had grown up believing that he wasn’t good enough to do anything other than hunt. It had taken a lot of convincing on my part to tell him that he was more than his father’s son. A good blow job never helped make my case, especially when I told him he could use the money Chuck gave me to start the business.

Yes, I told everyone about Chuck. It took me a few months after we were married, but I didn’t want to keep that big a secret from my husband. When Gabriel and Cas found out, they were livid. Not at me, but at their father who had abandoned them to pretend to be a prophet. They had understood why I hadn’t told them. Truthfully, the only one who had been irritated by my omission was Kevin. And that was because he actually was a prophet. He never got to meet Chuck, and once Chuck was outed he went into hiding. To this day, we still haven’t seen him.

The doorbell rang and I shooed Dean away, telling him to get it. A smile lit up my face when I heard a little boy scream, “Unca Dee, Unca Dee.” With the sound of children’s laughter, I knew that he had picked Thomas up and tossed him in the air. At six years old, that boy loved to wrestle, and Uncle Dean was always happy to help.

Sarah came into the kitchen looking radiant, “Can I help?”

I put the casserole dish into the oven, “Nope, it’s all finished prepping just needs to cook.” She was giving me a look, “What’s going on, Sarah?”

“Nothing,” she flushed. “Well, something, but I want to tell everyone at once.”

Instantly, my eyes went to her belly, then back to her face and I saw the smile there. “Oh my God. We have to go tell Dean now, I don’t think I can wait.”

We went out into the living room. I laughed when I saw Thomas and Dean on the floor roughhousing. Sam was sitting in a chair rocking their three-year-old little boy, Shep, who was fast asleep.

Sarah cleared her throat and both boys looked at her expectantly. “Sam, remember that night about two months ago when we got drunk and forgot about…” She looked down at Thomas, “You know.”

“Yeah,” his voice was suspicious. When his eyes widened and a huge grin covered his face, I knew he had realized what she was getting at. He carefully placed Shep down in the chair so he didn’t wake him and stood. Walking over to his wife, he picked her up and twirled her around. “We’re having another baby?” his voice broke a little as tears welled in his eyes.

Dean whooped loudly and stood as well, coming over and giving me a huge kiss. We left the room, leaving Sam and Sarah a moment to collect themselves. In the kitchen, I let Dean back me up against the counter and kiss me deeply before I pushed him away. “Do you ever regret not having kids? I mean, I know you said you were okay with it because I didn’t want them. But I see how you are with Thomas and Shep, and I…”

He put a finger to my lips, “Baby girl, there has never been a moment where I have regretted being with you. Was there a time when I wished I had a kid, once or twice, but then I come home to you and I forget all about that. I have Thomas and Shep, and now I’m going to have a third niece or nephew to spoil. I’m happy as long as you’re happy.”

“I have never been happier, Dean,” I kissed him, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. I'm the luckiest man in the world that Chuck decided to bring you to my world. I wouldn't change one second of our lives.”

"Not one second," I couldn't help but sound like I didn't believe him.

"Nope, gotta take the bad with the good, baby girl. If we didn't have the shitty times, we might not be here right now." He held me against him, rubbing my back, "As scared as I was during that week you were with the Djinn, I'm not sure if I ever would have worked up the courage to tell you how I felt. And I'm pretty sure you would have left me because of how much of a dickwad I was being."

I could hear the pain in his voice and pulled back. I cupped his face in my palms, "Dean, remember that Christmas you thought I had gone home." He nodded, "What did I promise you then?"

"That you would never leave me," he said softly.

"I would never have left you. I might have kicked your ass into next week for being a dick, but I never would have left you. I loved you from before I met you. Meeting you just sealed the deal." I gave him one last soft kiss, "I will love you until the end of time Dean Winchester. Become Emily Winchester was the second best day of my life."

"Second," he raised an eyebrow.

"The first was when you showed up at my apartment as FBI agents and became a part of my life." Taking his hand, I pulled him back toward the living room, "Now come on, we've got a birthday to celebrate."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking this journey with me. I hope that everyone who reads this enjoys it. This is the ending that I hope the boys get at the end of season 15. The chance to have a real life, one full of hope, love, and laughter.


End file.
